As scary as it can be at times, to make a decision when you are unsure of the outcome. It is better to be the creator of your life, rather than a bystander, drifting with whatever comes along.

Life is like a journey. There are long and short, smooth and rocky; crooked and straight roads. We make endless choices as we travel life’s roads. Some roads lead to the single life, others to marriage and family. Some lead to fame and fortune, others to isolation and poverty. There are roads leading to happiness or sadness, roads ending in success and celebration, or defeat and disappointment.

Life offers many corners, detours and crossroads. The crossroads of life represent times of major decision: should I get an education, should we marry, what about marriage preparation or having a family. Often these decisions are made with little or no knowledge of the consequences and no guarantee of success. At times people become stuck, unable to move past the crossroad, for fear of taking the wrong path.
One important fact of life is that you can’t really know where the road will lead until you take it. There are no guarantees of success. Hindsight always makes mistakes painfully obvious. The trick is to minimize the number of wrong turns taken. You don’t want to become paralyzed by the fear of making a mistake. Take a risk—decide.

Since life offers no guarantees and it is impossible to be certain that you have made the right decision, sometimes for years after making a decision, you might as well take a risk and decide. Making a decision and moving forward is definitely better than staying in limbo. Although it is true that one wrong turn could mean you get lost, even getting lost could be viewed as an adventure rather than a disaster. It is all a matter of perspective.

You have the choice of being a clear-thinking traveler or an accidental tourist, sleepwalking through life. To be a clear-thinking traveler it is important not to make decisions haphazardly. Taking a risk does not mean being careless or stupid.

Tips for facing life’s crossroads:

Get as much information as you can about your situation.

The more you understand the situation, the more confident you will become. Lack of information is often the cause of indecision. Answer the five W’s: what, when, where, who and why. What is going on? When did it happen? Where is this leading? Who will be affected by this decision? Why . . . ? Remember the better quality the questions, the better quality the answers.

Identify and create options.

Brainstorm. Look at the situation from all angles. What options do you have? What options could you create? Put your creative mind to work. Accept all ideas, from the simplest to the most complicated. Do not criticize any ideas at this point. Sometimes the most outrageous idea could prove to be the best in the end. You can ask for advice and help in identifying options, but don’t ask or allow others to make your decision for you.

Weigh the pros and cons.

Assess each option by looking at the advantages and disadvantages it offers you. How will each option affect all those involved? Take a close look at the consequences not only for yourself, but for any others that the decision will affect.

Trust yourself to make a decision.

Once you have assessed your options, it is time to trust yourself. Remember that there are no guarantees. In the words of Carol Burnett, if you‘re going to attempt something new, don’t try it, do it. Go full out. If you‘re going to make a mistake, make a big one. Good entertainers do that all the time. They barrel ahead. It’s worse to be wishy-washy than to be wrong. So make a decision and proceed with confidence. This is not the time to second-guess yourself.

The important thing is not that every decision be the right one. You will survive the occasional detour. The important thing is that you are an active participant in your life, rather than a bystander, allowing circumstances or others to decide for you. Time will tell whether a particular decision is right or not. But even a wrong decision is never a mistake if you learn from the experience. The more you practice decision-making the easier it will become. There is always the opportunity to make better decisions in the future.

Susan Derry
Professional Counselor & Life Coach
Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course.
Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine