I’m a successful on-line dater. I enjoy it and I’ve met really nice people. I’ve even had a serious and long term relationship with a wonderful man I met on line. But, according to my friends, I’m the only one who has chartered these water’s successfully.

They tell me they only find the weird ones. Or the guy they met was really married and my favorite, only creepy people go on line. They say this to my face.

So let this be my out pouring of knowledge on how to meet the nice, not weird or creepy and defiantly not married people.

It all begins with you. And I mean your profile. You need to take some time writing up a really good synopsis of who you are and what you want.

DO:

1. Say positive things about your life. If you do 50 lunges every morning while brushing your teeth then write it down. It’s positive!
2. Be proud of your accomplishments. Again, revisit the lunges if you have to.
3. Have a passion and talk about it.
4. Ask a question. It gives people something to say to you. Try “Think we would be a good match?”
5. Always spell check. Always.

DON’T

1. Be mean. Say nothing nasty or negative.
2. Put down others or yourself.
3. Talk about your failed marriages or relationships.

You MUST put up a photo.

More than one and really as many as you can. You may think this is a shallow practice and he or she should like you for your personality. Get over it. You are a human being and you know in the first five seconds if you are attracted to that person or not. Certain people turn our heads and your photos are going to get you a lot of attention.

Your photos should follow these guidelines to avoid the above mentioned icky on line people:

1. Don’t show a lot of skin. You are a grown woman or man and showing your body parts to complete strangers is just gross.
2. Make sure these are very current photos. You may think you look exactly the same as that five or even 10 year old photo, but you don’t. . .so don’t use it.
3. Don’t use the picture where you are making crude gestures. No flipping anyone off or throwing down gang signs. Put the beers down too.
4. Show people who and what you love. Your pet, favorite sport, cooking, neighborhood, boat, bicycle ANYTHING that shows you are a well rounded person. Give your potential date something to be interested in and a topic to bring up when they write to you.

*O.K. now that you’ve got your best profile put together and on display. It’s time to start searching that data base of singles.
Here’s what you are NOT looking for*:

1. The absolute best give away of who NOT to date is the person who can’t spell. This tells me they probably don’t read a lot and that tells me they’re most likely not plugged into current events. Remember the well rounded person you are looking for? This person is most likely not the one.
2. People who don’t use their words. They like to c u l8r. They ask you to “hit them up”. Again, I think they are doing this because they can’t spell.
3. People who ask you to send more pictures. If you only put up one photo then you’ll probably get this a lot. Otherwise, this person just wants to use you, and your pictures, as their latest fantasy. Don’t write this person back.
4. Anyone who says over the top sexual things to you. Telling you you’re pretty or letting you know you’re in great shape are nice compliments. Asking if they can give you a tongue bath is just wrong. You’ll know them right away because they come on fast and strong. Run away.

Here’s what you ARE looking for:

1. Someone who asks you lots of questions about yourself. He/she would have read what you wrote and posed questions from there.
2. They are polite and proper like their mother told them to be.
3. They ask to meet you. Too often people go back and forth with the email for so long the connection just dies away.
4. Make sure you have at least one phone conversation. You can tell a lot (but not everything) from someone’s voice and demeanor. Remember those work calls when you just knew the person on the other end would drive you crazy? Same goes for online dating.
5. Follow your gut here. You know when things don’t seem quite right. Listen to that little voice when it tells you everything is not as it seems. Tone down the little voice that says everyone on line is a liar. You are on line and you are telling the truth. Right?

There, you now have the secrets of a successful on line dating life. Go forth and fill those coffee houses.

For Questions and Advice Visit www.fabulously40.com/fabulously/rubyred" title=""> Shelly Molaschi