The other day, I came across a page I'd torn from a newspaper. On it was a blurb about how I could win a romantic dinner for two at a local restaurant just by writing a poem about my husband and me.

I have a wonderful husband. I've written a poem or two in my life. A romantic dinner sounds lovely. But I didn't get my poem written. In fact, I didn't even read the call for poems until past the deadline--years past the deadline.

You see, it was actually the very interesting article on the other side of the page that led me to tear it from the newspaper. It was fascinating--all about how long certain foods can be kept safely in the refrigerator. I noticed the call for romantic poems one day when I was checking to see how long it's safe to keep cold cuts. (Three to five days—unless they're slimy.)

My how things change. There was a time I would have written that poem and embarrassed both my husband and me. Those who are engaged won't believe it, but after a few years of marriage, you stop writing romantic poems and start writing tender and affectionate missives like, “Back at 8. Feed the dog.”

Early in our marriage, my husband and I went on a hot air balloon ride. It was glorious. Fast-forward nineteen years. I met him at his office recently and lured him from his work. We left hand in hand . . . on our way to update our life insurance policies. Not so glorious, but necessary.

Married couples understand. Before marriage, you paint the town. After marriage, you paint the house.

That’s because marriage is not just about being with someone you love, it’s about partnering up on the business of daily life, and much of that is less than romantic. You don’t just unite to each other after all; you unite your homes, your property, and your bank accounts—or whatever is left of them after the wedding.

Men, that’s why once she loved it when you sent her flowers and after a few years of marriage she says, “They‘re beautiful—how much did you pay for them?” Ladies, that explains why once you read between the lines of love letters; now you‘re happy when you can read the writing in the checkbook ledger.

No matter what attracted her in the beginning, everyone knows a married woman finds her husband most attractive when he’s doing dishes. I’m not sure when husbands find their wives most attractive. But I do know that prior to marriage a woman always dresses carefully and puts on makeup before she sees her man. She would never allow him to see her looking like she does when she’s spending time with friends. But after a few years of marriage, she dresses up for lunch with her girl friends and greets him at the door in sweat pants—unless she just hollers from the basement, “Did you remember the milk?”

Newlyweds, don’t worry when the dance of courtship becomes the shuffle of wedlock. These changes do not signal the end of love. They simply mean “in love” has blossomed into “unconditional love,” a more durable, if less interesting condition. Have children together, go into debt together, spend some time with the in-laws, and you’ll finally become true partners.

Then one day you’ll realize you can do without a romantic dinner. You’ve got cold cuts in the fridge, and they‘re not even slimy.

Dorothy Rosby is a contributing humor columnist for Fabulously40, visit her blog to learn more about her.