I remember it clearly. My mother used to say "Stefanie did you send so and so a thank you note?" She would say, “it's so and so's birthday, anniversary, graduation . . . “, fill in the blank. If there was something going on in someone’s life, she believed it warranted a personal phone call or a lovely handwritten note. I used to complain and whine about it, but in retrospect it was some of the best etiquette training I ever received. It was like finishing school at home with my mom, for 33 years. I say that because she hasn't stopped her probing yet. I still get regular phone calls, as if I'm 9 years old. "Stefanie, don't forget that it's Aunt Sue's birthday today." Of course not mom. How could I? You're like my own personal PDA reminder!

One might wonder what exactly this has to do with etiquette in the workplace. It has EVERYTHING to do with it! Every day, regardless of our individual professions, we are in social or at the very least, semi-social situations. Those of us who are keenly aware of some basic necessary social graces will excel at a far greater speed than those of us who ignore the opportunities. Pay attention to what goes on around you at work. When someone mentions a birthday, the birth of a child, a surgery, an anniversary or a special honor, don’t depend on your memory. Make a note of it in your calendar.

In today’s age of instant gratification and hyper-technological gadgetry, the beauty and grace of a good old fashioned parchment note card with a simple handwritten sincere and thoughtful message seems to have been forgotten. There is simply no replacement for the handwritten note. An email or a text from your phone or Blackberry, blueberry, or whatever new-fangled device you have just gotten simply doesn’t cut it folks. The message your co-worker, boss or team receives when you take the time to hand write a note is clear. They know they mean something to you and that you cared enough to take a few minutes out of your day for them. A little goes a very long way here.

There really isn’t any excuse anymore. Today, there are countless stores with lovely assortments of cards, envelopes, seals, stickers and the like. Whether the intended recipient is a man or a woman, an adult or a child, a friend or a colleague, the right card exists. Can’t think of much to say? That’s the beauty of a 5×7 or 4×6 note card. A line or two will do it. I always use the small cards. It’s like a plate of food. It’s better to put a small meal on a small plate than a tiny bit on a huge plate. The same thing goes for notes. It’s better to say fewer thoughtful words on a small card, than to write a couple of sentences and have nothing left to fill in the rest of the page.

Business is often about social relationships and people do business with people they like. Investing a bit of time out of your hectic schedule will pay big dividends in the long term and your stock will go up in everyone’s eyes. Perception is reality and if you are perceived as a thoughtful and considerate person, you will likely also be perceived as dependable and reliable. There’s a chain reaction effect at work here. We’ll touch on other secrets of success in the workplace when “Etiquette 101” continues.

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