I was trying to choose from the myriad of dishwashing liquids available at my grocery store, when my son told me that Dawn cleans dishes like nothing else can. One morning after I hadn’t slept well, he suggested I try Lunesta. But when he told me he had just saved a lot of money on car insurance, it finally hit me: We need TV-Turnoff Week.

TV-Turnoff Week, which takes place April 21-27 this year, encourages children and adults to take a week off from television in order to live healthier lives and stop speaking in advertising slogans.

I read somewhere that American children watch an average of 19 hours and 40 minutes of television per week. This is more than any other activity except sleeping and explains why they don’t have time to clean their rooms and do their math homework.

Speaking of math homework, if my math is correct, which is unlikely, it also means that by the age of 18, children will have spent around two entire years of their young, impressionable lives watching television. That’s two years when they could have been working for world peace, earning college money, and cleaning, not only their room, but the entire house.

Of course, I watched TV as a child too. But I’m certain I didn’t watch 19 hours of it every week. In my childhood home, there were ten children, one television and one channel. In other words, there was no place to sit and not much to watch if you did find a spot. I admit I didn’t spend two years of my childhood working for world peace . . . or cleaning my room. But I may still get those things done.

My son doesn’t watch 19 hours of television per week either, but he watches plenty. He must! He pops a stick of gum in his mouth and raves about “minty freshness.” After a particularly graphic TV commercial, he was inspired to say with enthusiasm, “I’m glad I don’t have bladder problems!” And it was TV advertising that convinced him we should buy a metal detector. “You could lose weight,” he said.

“Do I need to lose weight? And anyway, that’s not why people buy metal detectors?”

“They lose weight,” Ike pointed out patiently, “because they walk around carrying a metal detector while they’re looking for treasure.”

I told him I walk around plenty without a metal detector and I haven’t lost any weight. Of course, maybe that’s why.

And it isn’t just my son. After seeing our garage, one of his friends suggested I watch Garage Takeover weekdays on the Discovery Channel. I took this as an insult, but he said he was only trying to help.

I know television isn’t all bad. It is possible for children and parents to watch together, bond as it were, while their butts bond to the couch.

Most busy parents, including this one, have at one time or another resorted to using television as a babysitter. And it is a cheap babysitter, albeit an ill-mannered, obnoxious, one. But it certainly is not a free babysitter—not if you count cable and the cost of sugary cereals and metal detectors.

And of course, television does offer some educational programming. My son can speak endlessly about World War II and Big Foot. Still, I’m sure he’ll be happier and healthier if he doesn’t spend two entire years of his childhood in front of the TV. Besides, I don’t need that much help shopping.

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