When a friend questioned the headaches that plagued him at work, he discovered his pain communicated not only dissatisfaction with his career, but frustration over unresolved issues with his father that were being played out with his boss. After he resolved these issues, his headaches went away. So did most of the problems with the boss.

Over the years I’ve found five questions that can help turn any problem into a stepping stone for growth and insight. These are:

1. What hurts?

2. What would it take to be whole again?

3. What can I learn from this challenge?

4. What allies and resources are available?

5. How am I called to serve?

Questions 1 and 2 ground you in realistic optimism as you face the depth of your hurt, and accept the possibility that being whole doesn’t always mean getting what you want. Question 3 engages your mind and commitment to grow. Questions 4 and 5 invoke your creative curiosity and connect you to a source much greater than yourself.

Responses can come anytime, anywhere. When I was diagnosed with diabetes several years ago, I discovered through spiritual questioning, the need for increased spiritual nurturing, as well as the need to be more receptive to the insights of others.

An important element of my healing came from a dream telling me to savor more the wonders of each day. During a recent morning when my husband and I helped his mother rake leaves, I practiced being fully present and was stunned by the results.

It seemed utterly natural then to give thanks for the opportunity to be with this wonderful woman (she lives across the country from us), and pray for her continued health and safety while we worked. Sometimes we laughed and joked; other times we were silent enough to hear leaves being chased across the pavement by our brooms. Just remembering the joy of that morning makes my body come alive again.

Thus, upon reflection, I offer additions to the first three questions: What joys do I feel? How can this joy help me and others heal? How can I learn and grow from the blessings in my life right now?

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