Have you been in a relationship with someone for five years or more? Do you find that the tension between you and your mate has been on the rise? For some of us, it seems like the older we get, the harder it becomes to keep the passion alive. We start focusing more of our attention on our careers, our children, our elderly parents and that, often times, leads to stressful moments; moments that cause arguments and frustration and thoughts of possible divorce.

Stress in a relationship—-especially a marriage——is more common than most will think, or want to believe, but you can put an end, or at least ease up on the stress in your relationship by taking some necessary steps.

Change how you talk to lessen the stress in your relationship (marriage).

Think before you blurt anything out in a marriage. You may feel very comfortable in your relationship, and you may feel you can say just about anything aloud, but the truth of the matter is when you call some one stupid, or idiot, even in a joking manner it is going to hurt the relationship. Take the stress out of your long-term relationship by thinking about what you are saying before you are saying it.

Change how you act, and how you are around your mate.

Remember back in a time when you first met and how happy you were to spend time together. Put that feeling back into your life by thinking of how you are going to make your mate fall in love with you again every day. This goes a long way in putting the spark back into your relationship and will take away some of the stress.

Some stress involved in a relationship is due to the lack of trust. Stressing out over where your spouse is, why they are working late, or just where they are in general will eventually put a major strain on the relationship. Take the stress out of your relationship and out of the marriage by putting trust back into the equation.

Stress also tends to intensify when children come into the picture or when money matters are tight. Then there are those of us who feel the added pressure of taking care of our aging parents. Why not re-focus your energies on something constructive in the situation. If you’re stressed about money, find ways to save money. If you are stressed about the children, find a sitter for the night and unwind a little bit. Every problem, every stressful situation does have an answer and you can work through it together.

Beverly Mahone is an author who writes about issues affecting baby boomers in her book: Whatever! A Baby Boomer’s Journey Into Middle Age. Visit her website the Baby Boomer Dive