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8 "Dont's" of Dating

By Cherry Norris,

So many questions. So many rules.

When is it appropriate to have sex?  When do you call?  What do you do when he doesn’t do what he says he’s gonna to do?

So many “do’s and don‘ts” of dating.  It ain’t easy.  But to help you ease through the pain...here are 8 “Don‘ts” to never “Do” in any relationship!

1. Don't EXPECT Anything

Period.  As soon as you have an expectation for your date to do anything, you‘re setting yourself up for disappointment.  Watch what he does.  See what he presents.  Decide if you want it or if you don’t.  But don’t expect it.  Because I promise...he will never, ever, ever do it your way.  Ever.

(If you insist on expecting something...then expect the WORST.  That way you at least have a chance of being delighted and surprised.)

2. Don't COMPLAIN

You have every right to complain, but it doesn’t help you.  Nor does it change the situation.  So stop the habit of complaining.  No one wants to hear it anyway.  It’s not pretty and it doesn’t look good...especially if you‘re trying to make a decent first impression.

3. Don't CALL Him

Or e-mail. Or text.  Or whatever!  This is so elementary I’m embarrassed to repeat it.  But there are those who still don’t get it.  (I know.  Hard to believe.)  If you call him, you‘re the driver.  You‘re running the show.  He’ll expect you to pursue him.

So if you don’t want to lead, don’t call.  Let him call you and you call him back.  Forever.  Got it?

4. Don't ARGUE With Anyone You Don't Want to Build With

If your date says something you don’t agree with and you‘re not sure you like him...keep your mouth shut.  Don’t argue.  Just listen.  Sit back and watch the show.  Don’t engage.  

Otherwise you risk getting to know him better and gaining a deeper understanding of where he’s coming from.  And that’s building a relationship.

5. Don't TRUST Anyone

Ever.  You will only be disappointed.  People are human.  So it’s best to not trust him.

Now before you get all “wiggy” and self righteous, think of how you can’t even trust yourself.  How many times have you told yourself you‘re going to loose that extra weight?  And how many times have you done it?

Trust a scorpion (you know what they‘re capable of) before you trust your date (or mate).  Instead, take a risk on the person and build a trustworthy relationship.

6. Don't HAVE SEX Without an Agreement

Know what the deal is before having sex.  If you both want a one-night stand or a brief affair...fine.  Just communicate it in advance so feelings aren’t hurt and agendas aren’t mixed.  If one of you wants a long-term romance and the other is in it for tonight, someone’s gonna get hurt.  So know what you‘re getting into.

7. Don't COMMIT to Anyone

Commit to the relationship...not the person.  Do your part and hope (to God) he does his.  If you commit to the person, you‘re setting yourself up for disappointment because you’ll start expecting.  (Refer to Tip #1.)

8. Don't LEAVE Too Soon

Stay as long as you can.  Even if this man is not YOUR man, there’s something to be gained.  He can teach you much about what you like and what you don’t.  Think of it as a “dress rehearsal” for the real deal.  

If you leave too soon, you risk repeating the same lesson over again with the next man.  So stay until you‘re done and you get it with this one.

For more dating techniques and to learn what to do and say in your relationship (so you don't blow it)...Order The Role of a Lifetime: How To Star in Your Own Love Story Home Study Course today!

About the Author

Cherry Norris is a renowned celebrity dating coach, workshop director and popular speaker. Based in Los Angeles, California, Cherry is an official dating coach for Cupid’s Coach matchmaking service and the relationship expert on Catherine Oxenberg’s TV pilot, Practical Princess. Cherry has lead workshops around the US and on cruises to Mexico and Alaska. She has been featured in The LA Times, The Hollywood Reporter, Divine Caroline, and Women’s World.

For free Dating Directions newsletter and event calendar, visit the Dating Directions Newsletter 


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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Msemacn wrote Sep 9, 2008
    • This was a nice article.  I am not sure about the last one though and what you mean “stay as long as you can” for that night, until you can’t tolerate dating this guy ever??? Anyway, I need clarity.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Beth Baeckelandt wrote Sep 11, 2008
    • It sounds like the old book called: "The Rules"...I swore by it 'back in the day', and still abide by the main one...*NEVER ACCEPT A DATE, FOR THE WEEKEND, AFTER WEDNESDAY*!! If you don't follow that RULE...it makes you look desperate, that you are waiting around for his call, and don't have a life outside of him! He will respect you, and want you MORE, if you "teach" him to ask you for a date AHEAD OF TIME!  I swear by that one rule...

      OH, and to msemacn...I believe the author is stating: don’t leave the RELATIONSHIP too soon, not the night! :D



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Sydneymolare wrote Sep 19, 2008
    • Great tips! Timeless, indeed.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Erin50 wrote Sep 22, 2008
    • I’m sorry - I disagree with just about this whole article.  Maybe it’s the Sagittarian in me - LOL! : )



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Beth Baeckelandt wrote Sep 23, 2008
    • The whole article is a great reminder, but I will agree that Rule #4, is drawing a fine line.  Therefore, NOT arguing on a first date deems to be appropriate, but to NEVER argue, and keep your mouth shut, makes you look like you don’t have a brain, or an opinion!

      Once again, I still agree that being “old-fashioned” in many ways (ie: letting the man call, make the first move, etc.), creates an “aura” about you!  You want to look/act like you‘re a CATCH, and that makes men want you more...

      ...trust me, I grew up with a brother a year older, and one a year younger...I’ve watched them, and listened to their comments...they want to do the CHASING!  Period.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Wendy Williams wrote Nov 22, 2008
    • t sounds like the old book called: “The Rules“...I swore by it ‘back in the day‘, and still abide by the main one..

      A male friend of mine gave “The Rules” way back in the early 90s. I thought it was so silly at first.  But it turned out that there were Some things that it was right about.  These new rules seem a little harsh. Like for instance #5. If you don’t trust your date at all in my book Don’t go out with them. Actually its more important to trust yourself and be watchful of the situation you put yourself in. That is more to the point trust wise.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Amazingrace wrote Feb 3, 2009
    • Good points to remember... NEVER CALL is the tough one however now that I saw that posted.... I’ M NOT CALLING!!
      if he doesn’t call then I know, “He’s just not that into me!” Right?? LOL



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Shari Tenner wrote Feb 7, 2009
    • OMG——I  AM LIVING THE “HE‘S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU” THING AND IT REALLY IS TERRIBLE!!!!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Ames wrote Mar 29, 2009
    • Is it too late to go back once you have called? He told me I should call him once in a while and I did. Ooops!



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Stella Gonzales Johnson wrote Apr 7, 2009
    • Great article! I truly enjoyed reading this article and will follow its  great tipsestatic



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kerri1985 wrote Jul 2, 2010
    • Good tips some I don’t totally agree with but I take most things with a food for thought, doesn’t hurt to be informed or to hear another side. Thanks for the info...

      Hugz estatic



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Smileysum1 wrote Oct 12, 2011
    • Don’t call him?
      So what’s a woman to do if he always complains that I barely call him and he wants me to call. He states that not getting a call from me shows him I’m not putting in an effort or showing interest, yet I am crazy about him! I want to call him every day but I don’t because I want him to pursue me and show interest. We will not have contact for close to 4 or 5 days at times, and I may break it by calling him sometimes and he says “finally you called“. I feel that due to his little comments, if I don’t call him more he may think I am not interested and he will move on to someone else. Do I call or not? lol
      P.S. He is 10 years younger than I, would this matter? lol



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