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In my journey as a Coach and a Direct Sales supporter, I frequently hear that many women are frustrated with the lack of support they receive from their significant other.
One of my guiding principles is: No woman actually needs a man in order to be successful. When she knows it, she steps into her power and owns her success. When he knows it, it allows him to respect her power and be supportive in the way that serves her best.
My wife was single for 14 years before we met. She raised an awesome daughter single-handed and enjoyed success as an executive. There was no doubt in my mind that this woman does not need me to function and will be as successful as she wants to be.
I am passionate about supporting her anyway I can and love opportunities to be able to do so. Being a powerful and capable woman, she frequently just gets going and doesn’t need anything from me.
My second guiding principle: It is HER business. No matter what, it is her business to run any way that she chooses. And, of course, to be responsible for her results.
My wife knows that I am available to her anytime for whatever she needs. When she does not call on me, I know that she is in her power and that it is not an indication that she does not need me.
Several of the powerful women I have met who expressed a desire for more support from their partner were amazed to realize that they were significantly contributing to the lack of it. Quite a paradox.
To be supported, you must be support-able.
Being in your own power is a crucial element to being successful. Being open and taking advantage of support from others will enable you to leverage your power more effectively, be more productive and have a positive impact on your relationship.
Your other half will greatly appreciate the opportunity to be of service & value and will enjoy the feeling of being needed. (Note - that needing something and being needy are two majorly different things).
If you desire more support, you must open yourself up to being support-able. This may not be easy at first, if you are used to flying solo. As you look ahead to your day’s activities, look for tasks that you could delegate. What tasks are on your list that your partner would be willing to do? What talents do they have that you could benefit from?
Shift into an ‘us’ perspective. What activities do you have on your agenda that could be done together? If you accomplish your objectives earlier, how could you use the extra time together?
If it is truly important to you to accomplish something by yourself, that is okay. Simply communicating that fact - and letting them know you will have other opportunities for them - will go a long way to maintaining their interest in supporting you.
The simplest, most effective way to leverage your power and maintain the support of your partner is to acknowledge them and appreciate them. Let them know how much it means to you to have their love and share their life. And, what a key part they are of the future that you hold the vision for.
The most important part of my journey with my wife is ‘us‘. Without that, nothing else really matters.
Be successful - together
Mark Semple CCC
International Coach of the Year 2007
Coaching men and women in home business on giving and gaining support.
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