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Assertiveness: 5 tips to saying “NO” with confidence

By Denise Fitzpatrick, LMHC

If you're tired of feeling like a doormat, taken advantage of, giving and not getting in return, it's time to take control of your life. Learn how to give less to others and feel better about yourself.

1. When someone invites you to do something or asks you to do something for them don't feel pressured to answer immediately. You can simply say "I'll have to let you know", this gives you an opportunity to think about it instead of answering on the spot.

2. Often you may find yourself answering yes without giving it any thought. Ask yourself "is this is something I really want to do or I am afraid to disappoint this person?"

If the latter is true, it may be time to try the approach in #1 above.

3. People come to recognize you as the "go to person", they know you won't say no so they continue to ask. These are the people that may take advantage of your kindness. You will need to change this reputation if you want people to begin to see you differently. It may take a few times of saying no, but eventually they will get it.

4. Start small. Identify one area in which you would like to begin to assert yourself. Practice in this area first so you won't feel overwhelmed and this will give you an opportunity to build your confidence.

5. Its time to stop focusing on making everyone else happy and worrying about what people will think of you. Start focusing on yourself, what you want and what makes you happy. You have to take care of you because no one else is going to do it!

Author's Bio

Denise Fitzpatrick is a licensed mental health counselor who specializes in helping women create the life they want instead of settling for the one they have.

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