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Finding Love on the Internet in Midlife

By Carol Weeg

Single women in midlife are often interested in getting back in the dating game, but they don’t know how to go about it.  After years or even decades of marriages that ended in divorce or the death of a spouse, how do women in their 40’s, 50’s, and 60’s meet men these days?  

An increasingly popular—and successful—way is through Internet dating. Judsen Culbreth, author of The Boomers‚ Guide to Online Dating (Rodale, 2005), answers FAQs about finding love online:  

Why is online dating a good choice for single women in midlife?

First, mature daters are the big growth industry, and men are more likely to be online than women. Men like technology, and they feel that online dating is a logical choice. It’s a great way to screen candidates. Everyone is a prequalified prospect; they’ve said, I want to date. Where else can you go to get applications for a relationship? People disclose things they would never say in a bar. It’s more of a sure shot. And it’s a less stressful way to meet people. If you don’t like someone, you don’t have to go there.  

internet dating
 

What would you say to women who are reluctant to try it?  

    

Some are hesitant because they’re still waiting for Prince Charming to show up. They want meeting someone to be fate. That’s likely to happen when you’re young—in high school and college or just out of college—because everyone is single and you mix and mingle all the time. As you get older, most of your friends are married and it’s much harder to meet available men. That’s why more and more women 35 and older are trying online dating sites. It’s a simple and effective way to meet people.  

Do you advise women to post their profile on a variety of sites or choose one and stay with it?    

Just as you’d go to a department store if you needed a lot of items, and to a boutique for that one special thing, you should visit a variety of Internet dating sites. Try some of the big ones, like Match.com and Matchmaker.com. These have millions of users so you can get a lot of what you want—geography, income, personal habits. There are so many people using them that you’re more likely to find someone. And if you have something specific that’s important to you, like religion or ethnicity, go to one of those sites. Do both; it’s so cheap, a subscription is less than one night out on a date.  

What are some tips for creating a good profile?    

A positive attitude is very important. Midlife daters want honesty, warmth, and shared activities. We’re heading into the best years of our lives—we’re more likely to be financially secure and have free time. We want people who are fun to be with. Avoid the pitfall of asking for too much. At this stage, you’re just trying to meet someone—don’t list every quality a person must have. Talk about yourself. This can be hard for women in midlife because we have so many roles, but this is about you, not your family or your past relationships. And do post a photo. If you don’t, it’s a red flag.  

How computer savvy do you have to be to use Internet dating?    

If you can e-mail and get on the Internet, you can date online. If you can’t post a photo, many sites will help you. And there are helplines for any questions or problems you may have. Dating sites make it as easy as possible to use them.  

Visit some Internet dating sites, and see if they might be something you’d like to try. Whether you’re looking for a committed partner, a husband, or just someone to go to the movies with, you may well find him online.


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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tracey Thorpe wrote Nov 4, 2008
    • i am presently trying Plentyoffish.com which is a free dating site. Its a bit daunting creating a profile but have had a couple of dates, lots of messages and keeping an open mind.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tami Close wrote Dec 17, 2008
    • Love this venue to let you know that online dating does work.  Read my blog...a girl, a guy, a Cancun beach, and a ring.  I’ll also be promoting my program, Girls Gone Wifi, Having a Blast with Online Dating.  There’s just a few key things to explore and then let the fun begin.

      I’m also an energy practitioner so provide some simple techniques to release any “stuff” that gets in the way.

      Thank you,

      Tami Close



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Igoplaces wrote Mar 26, 2009
    • I strongly recommend that you read: THE INTELLIGENT WOMAN‘S GUIDE TO ONLINE DATING: And She Lived Happily Ever After. It’s available on Amazon.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kurtsgirl wrote May 7, 2009
    • I think it is he best way to go. I met my guy online and two years later we are getting married. I suggest to be careful but be honest and you will find the man of your dreams. As for me, I was lucky I met him after only meeting two other men online. They were not the one but I had a nice time and a nice dinner with them. Then of course the third was a charm and has been ever since.



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Katt wrote Sep 23, 2009
    • Well I have been on the Yahoo personals site for about a year and have only to date a couple of duds. They came with some kind of baggage, often seems these guys are portraying someone they are not. I get lots of men to look at my profile but too few to actually reply. Seems men are afraid to just say hello anymore, and yes my profile is modest, not desperate. Also, not sure what age range, cause I’m a hard girl to keep up with, so while sure an older man might provide security, younger guys seem better able to keep up with my demands. LOL Will keep hanging in there and still hoping or the best........



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Oct 8, 2010
    • Interesting topic! Any thoughts?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cloda Rowe wrote Nov 30, 2010
    • I also used Plentyoffish.com and had several nice ‘chats’ with a few men.... but I have met a really nice person.. we have been dating now for a few months and we have got on really well.... the first date was very daunting... but there were no awkward silences as we had been chatting for several weeks prior to that.. for me it was important to meet someone with similar intersts but also someone who was not too far away location wise.. so keep your fingers crossed happy
      but as said earlier.. it would seem that there are some ‘odd people out there’ but each to their own but why as a single Mum as stated in my profile would I want to ‘date’ someone in Australia... also why cant they be honest with pictures????? am I that shallow? answers on a postcard lol



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Brenda Renkema wrote May 18, 2011
    • Tried it out many times with no luck - Personally I would have better luck just hanging out at a gas station.

      To go through all of that trouble to find one that actually wants to meet and actually can meet becasue he might live close enough, Then to get all dressed up only to find out he wants a lesbian and smells terrible and all of the other BS.. It’s just a waste of time in my experience.

      I’d rather meet in person 1st anymore.

      Most online seem real interested - until they think you are, which is probably why they are hiding behind a computer in the first place, They don’t really want a real relationship, But they love to collect women I notice.



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