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Online Dating; It’s not just for crazy people.

By Shelly Molaschi

I'm a successful on-line dater.  I enjoy it and I've met really nice people.  I've even had a serious and long term relationship with a wonderful man I met on line.  But, according to my friends, I'm the only one who has chartered these water's successfully.

They tell me they only find the weird ones.  Or the guy they met was really married and my favorite, only creepy people go on line.  They say this to my face.  

bq. So let this be my out pouring of knowledge on how to meet the nice, not weird or creepy and defiantly not married people.

dating on line

It all begins with you.  And I mean your profile.  You need to take some time writing up a really good synopsis of who you are and what you want.  

        

DO:  

  1. Say positive things about your life. If you do 50 lunges every morning while brushing your teeth then write it down.  It's positive!
  2. Be proud of your accomplishments. Again, revisit the lunges if you have to.
  3. Have a passion and talk about it.
  4. Ask a question.  It gives people something to say to you.  Try "Think we would be a good match?"
  5. Always spell check.  Always.

DON'T    

  1. Be mean.  Say nothing nasty or negative.
  2. Put down others or yourself.
  3. Talk about your failed marriages or relationships.

                        

You MUST put up a photo.

          

    

on line dating
                   

More than one and really as many as you can.  You may think this is a shallow practice and he or she should like you for your personality.  Get over it.  You are a human being and you know in the first five seconds if you are attracted to that person or not.  Certain people turn our heads and your photos are going to get you a lot of attention.  

Your photos should follow these guidelines to avoid the above mentioned icky on line people:      

  1. Don't show a lot of skin.  You are a grown woman or man and showing your body parts to complete strangers is just gross.
  2. Make sure these are very current photos.  You may think you look exactly the same as that five or even 10 year old photo, but you don't. . .so don't use it.
  3. Don't use the picture where you are making crude gestures.  No flipping anyone off or throwing down gang signs.  Put the beers down too.
  4. Show people who and what you love.  Your pet, favorite sport, cooking, neighborhood, boat, bicycle ANYTHING that shows you are a well rounded person.  Give your potential date something to be interested in and a topic to bring up when they write to you.

*O.K.  now that you've got your best profile put together and on display.  It's time to start searching that data base of singles.
Here's what you are NOT looking for*:        

on line dating
   

  1. The absolute best give away of who NOT to date is the person who can't spell.  This tells me they probably don't read a lot and that tells me they're most likely not plugged into current events.  Remember the well rounded person you are looking for?  This person is most likely not the one.
  2. People who don't use their words.  They like to c u l8r.  They ask you to "hit them up".  Again, I think they are doing this because they can't spell.
  3. People who ask you to send more pictures. If you only put up one photo then you'll probably get this a lot.  Otherwise, this person just wants to use you, and your pictures, as their latest fantasy.  Don't write this person back.
  4. Anyone who says over the top sexual things to you.  Telling you you're pretty or letting you know you're in great shape are nice compliments.  Asking if they can give you a tongue bath is just wrong.  You'll know them right away because they come on fast and strong.  Run away.

Here's what you ARE looking for:        

dating
   

  1. Someone who asks you lots of questions about yourself.  He/she would have read what you wrote and posed questions from there.
  2. They are polite and proper like their mother told them to be.
  3. They ask to meet you.  Too often people go back and forth with the email for so long the connection just dies away.
  4. Make sure you have at least one phone conversation.  You can tell a lot (but not everything) from someone's voice and demeanor.  Remember those work calls when you just knew the person on the other end would drive you crazy?  Same goes for online dating.
  5. Follow your gut here.  You know when things don't seem quite right.  Listen to that little voice when it tells you everything is not as it seems.  Tone down the little voice that says everyone on line is a liar.  You are on line and you are telling the truth.  Right?

bq. There, you now have the secrets of a successful on line dating life.  Go forth and fill those coffee houses.



For Questions and Advice Visit Shelly Molaschi. 


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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Stephanie wrote Jan 8, 2008
    • Good tips. very realistic.

      I love the do’s and dont’s.

      Its crucial to always keep the conversation going-whether your interested in your date or not (blind date for ex). This ties in with always being a lady, because if you are sweet and conversational (even if the guy is not your type), he will never say a bad word about you, even if you cut it off.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Beth Sancomb-Moran wrote Apr 25, 2008
    • Online dating can be great fun, if you approach it as such.  Look at it as an opportunity to meet interesting people, regardless of the outcome.

      By the way, I met my husband through online personals - so it can work!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lamocha wrote Aug 24, 2008
    • I’ve been dating on line for a bit of time and there have been some folks that have criticized me.  Truth is how you choose to meet fish in the sea is solely up to you and if you approach it as an adventure and a way of entertaining yourself, you might be pleasantly surprised and meet a good guy or two! Good Do’s and Don‘ts...!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Rena Bennefield wrote Oct 7, 2008
    • **I had a good run of it...I met my fiancé on line and we have been together over 2 yrs...We plan on getting married next fall...Not to say I didn't run into a few liars and a-holes...I did find that the best bet was to buy a video cam for your computer. I got a Logitech that took pics. Made video and was real good for viewing others on line...it was like 40.00..I did it because the pics of most of them were not them or like 5 to 10 yrs old...And trust me at my age 5 to 10 yrs can make a difference...I also made it a point that the first meeting was in a restaurant "No Bars"..And I drove myself...I didn't want everyone to know where I lived...You can't be too careful...It is also smart to buy a pre paid phone...Then you don't have to deal with someone having your real cell number...and last but not least when you find someone you are really interested in..Use one of many online investigators...it might cost you 20.00 but it is better to know who your with it will tell you where they live if they are married or divorced...You can know everything for a few dollars more you can find out who their neighbors are...LOL... any police records...how much their home is worth..Remember this anyone can do the same to you...All you need is a cell or land line number...or first and last name or address... so watch yourself....Because someone else may be watching YOU!!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Yachtingkat wrote Oct 8, 2008
    • I’m def. in the “success story” category for on-line - in fact, I met my husband (now ex - but after nearly 15 years) via a print personal.

      It’s also a great way to make friends, even if that wasn;t what you’d planned on. But three of my closest male friends were all guys I met on line, and for one reason or another it wasn’t “right” as a commitment - but we all like each other too much to say “bye“!  

      The tips in the posts above are excellent - the only one I would disagree with is how long you chat on line. That’s really up to you. I travel extensively and any guy that can deal with waiting to go out with you for six weeks (while extensively calling and emailing) might be worth it - in my case I spent nearly three years with someone who started off like that!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Daisy671 wrote Nov 11, 2008
    • I am a success story as well.  I met the love of my life online but not by looking - quite by accident.  I moderate a website and we just started chatting and one thing led to another.  I have never connected with anyone like this in my life and we are both still in amazement at how much in sync we are.  We are madly in love, never fight and always in tune with one another.  I was always against online relationships but, now that I’ve met my soulmate, I have changed my tune. Granted we didn’t meet by online “dating” programs, it was a sheer fluke we met but....I do not regret one minute and cherish every minute we have together.  He is the light of my life, very romantic, hard working, kind and caring and loves me unconditionally.  I never thought there were men like that out there.  So, finding love online is not a bad thing at all!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mz. Queen wrote Dec 23, 2008
    • Yesterday was the first day of online dating for me, today being day 2 is going better than I imagined. We have not had a phone conversation yet but I’m hopeful because he does have my number and responded with I’ll call you soon. My picture is up and I’m going to put another up soon.

      [Link Removed]


      47ntiredorunnin, Your links have been removed, please consider upgrading to premium membership.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jaclyn wrote Aug 26, 2009
    • I think online dating can be a great success. I am gettting married October 10th and I met my fiance online. I have never been happier and can’t wait to tie the knot. We have been together for 2 years and now and it has been truly amazing....



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Sharplady wrote May 1, 2010
    • I met my last bf on-line. He turned out to be a full time on-line player/ comp porn addict. Fooled me for a short while. But I am gonna try again.
      Just wonder which site is the best, only wanna be on one.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Eve Mallick wrote Jun 21, 2010
    • Personally, at my age, I don’t know anyone who hasn’t tried or isn’t using online dating to meet people. I don’t date often, but when I do I’ve been very successful with online dating sites and agree whole heartedly with the author, it’s up to you to weed out these “freaks” before hand and she gives some excellent rules of thumb for doing just that. It’s all about putting your best foot forward and any man who doesn’t take the time to spell check or edit his ad, isn’t worth your time. This doesn’t mean he’s not well educated, this means so much more ...... possibly his ego won’t allow him to grasp the idea he could be wrong. It could mean he doesn’t care what you think. It could also mean, his wife was about to walk in when he was writing his profile and he never had the chance to spell check ..... either way, there are 1,000 other guys behind him waiting to meet you, who did.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Andrea B wrote Aug 21, 2010
    • heartbreak  I am the person who has fought over the internet meeting. My problem is trust, because I believe
      1. If I can lie about me, so could they.
      2. I have seen so many fake profiles from overseas, and saying they are a widow..etc.
      3. How do you have trust with a stranger. Trust is hard to come by now, do you trust the strangers behind you in large crowds?
      4. Just when I thought I may have found one, he always gets to talking and last but not least.. even though its on my profile, the big question is ” So how bad are you disabled, can you walk, feed yourself, etc. ” then they never make contact again.  

        

         Please know I loved this article, and you made alot of good points in it. I just wish that when they read my profile that clearly states ” I am disabled, and if this is an issue please don’t waste either of our time “, they end up contacting , talking and like I said BOOM, there it is the big question, ” how are you disabled ”  heartbreakfrown



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Slj214 wrote Sep 25, 2014
    • I have been online dateing on and off for awhile now,I think it is a good way of meeting people.



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