Children are fattening!  

I mean RAISING them?NOT eating them. For one thing, parents don’t have a lot of time to exercise, partly because we spend so much time watching our children exercise. And while jumping up and down yelling, “Go the OTHER WAY!” burns calories, it doesn’t burn as many as getting out on the field and running the wrong way ourselves.

Besides that, couples who become parents see a gradual transformation in their diets from “real food,” which is lower in calories and higher in nutrients, to “kid food” which is higher in calories and nearly devoid of nutrients. But what “kid food” lacks in nutrition, it more than makes up for in carbohydrates and fat grams.  

Before we know it macaroni and cheese becomes a staple, “fruit snacks” replace real fruit, and our freezer is full of fish sticks and hot dogs. The children love it and it can be eaten in the car on the way to the game?except maybe the macaroni and cheese.
Finally, many an excess parental pound is packed on because parents are willing to eat what our children have left behind. The following example of lunch at my house illustrates how this can become a problem:    

Turkey sandwich on whole wheat bread with light mayonnaise-250 calories
Apple-80 calories
Skim Milk-90 calories
Total: 420 calories.        

Not bad. I even abstain from the brownies (360 calories each) that I baked for my son’s dessert. (Understand this is merely for illustration purposes. I never bake anything, and if I ever do, I won’t abstain.)    

Then, as I clean up the lunch mess (and it is a mess), I absent-mindedly consume the mauled remains of my son’s sandwich (100 calories), the flattened remnants of his brownie (300 calories), and his leftover 2 percent milk (100 calories) with brownie crumbs in it (3 calories).      

I have now devoured 923 calories, 503 of which, I don’t even “count.” And this is just lunch; I still have his snacks and supper to finish.  

Why would a parent eat food that has been mangled by dirty little fingers?  I think it starts innocently when a new mother lets her baby lick the ice cream off her spoon or sip from her drink. Blinded by love and fatigue, she hardly notices the slobber. A boundary is crossed and before she knows it, she’s gnawing on leftover pizza crust.  

Thriftiness is also to blame. Let me give you an example taken from real life?mine. I bought my son a box of four miniature cinnamon rolls at a fast food restaurant. He ate one. I had never before been tempted to buy miniature cinnamon rolls for myself, let alone eat them. But rather than waste, I ate the remaining three. They were better than I thought they’d be! The next time we were at that restaurant, I ordered TWO boxes of miniature cinnamon rolls, one for him and one for me. He ate two of the four in his package. I ate all four of mine?and the rest of his.        

Sometimes a parent eats off her child’s plate for the same reason a dog chews on a bone: because it’s there. Say you‘re having a picnic at the park. Your children take two bites of chicken, declare themselves full, and dash off to the monkey bars where they will burn hundreds of calories. You sit and watch, enjoying the fresh air, the sound of your children’s laughter, and the rest of their lunch.

What can be done?short of not having children, which it’s probably too late for. First, PAY ATTENTION. Actually look at that THING you‘re about to put in your mouth. Doing this has the added advantage of ruining your appetite for anything else you might have been interested in eating that day.        

Secondly, when you‘re tempted by thriftiness, remind yourself that while throwing food away might be a waste, it’s also a waste sitting on your . . um . . . waist.    

Dorothy Rosby     is a contributing humor columnist for Fabulously40, visit her blog to learn more about her.