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Yes, that means you! What a great time to be creating a partnership: traditional roles have made way for a new era of building a successful marriage. Old ideas about how marriage “should” look have gone by the wayside, allowing space for couples to build the relationship that works best for them. As a powerful woman, this is your time.
Perhaps it seems odd for a man to be writing that powerful women can have it all. For a long time, we guys were in limbo – not sure how to approach women who clearly were in control in the business world, or any arena they chose. What were we guys supposed do with our deep-seated need to be providers? Please, have compassion: it’s “our thing” to want to provide and feel needed. It’s so deeply ingrained in men that some of us need a little coaching to be our best in a relationship with a powerful woman.
I know this from first-hand experience. I'm married to a woman who has a flourishing executive coaching business, a three-year-old child, a great social life and, I’m very happy to say, a wonderful marriage. Thea is an awesome example that powerful women can have it all.
Honestly, when I met my wife one of the aspects of her creativity that really appealed to me was her business acumen. Little did I know, at the time, how great a business woman she truly is. When her success surpassed mine I struggled to come to grips with not being needed to provide in the traditional sense. It threatened my sense of myself, but it did something else, too – it activated my certainty.
You see, my wife saw that I was struggling. In my mind, she was no longer my biggest fan. But she knew better: she gave me the space to become my own biggest fan. And therein is the secret, we can only thrive if we believe in ourselves. No one can fix us or even prop us up for too long. I learned that the person who owns the role of being my biggest fan is me.
I admit, it took me a while to realize the role that the Law of Attraction plays in relationship building. As long as I was focused on what I was not achieving, I was stuck. When I activated my certainty that I am my own man and my wife is her own woman, we were able to move forward in a mutually supportive way. Thea knew all along that powerful women can have it all.
Take a look at the role you play in your relationships. Sometimes men are indeed scared away by not feeling needed. Are you focused on how all the men you meet start by admiring your success but within six months are off to find someone who will prop them up? I suggest that you shift focus. You can do this by beginning with a simple list of what you do not want in a relationship. Once you are crystal clear about what you don’t want you can quickly begin to make a contrast list of what you do want. Focus on that daily and you will begin to notice guys showing up with those positive qualities you’ve been thinking about.
For instance say you don’t want a guy who will leave you after six months because you’re working a lot and bringing in a lot of money. Once you are clear about that you can focus on what you do want – a guy who will be comfortable with your success, and comfortable with himself.
You already know how to make things happen, so you are already living the Law of Attraction. Just transfer those amazing skills to drawing your ideal partner into your life. It make him some time (I admit it took me time), but it will be worth the wait. Don’t stop short of knowing and experiencing the truth: powerful women can have it all.
© Frank Polancic 2007
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