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Benefits
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Benefits
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Stay busy all the time in church. Doing this and doing that will eventually burn you out to the point where there is not much energy or desire for making love to your husband.
Preach scriptures to your husband often about the importance of focusing on spiritual things like reading his bible and being involved in church more than what he is. After all, he simply thinks about sex too often and not about God enough.
Make love only once a month or maybe once a week on Fridays and on holidays. This way, your husband will be so anxious and grateful. This will put you in a position of power over him. Never mind that this causes him frustration and acts of anger. Just be sure to punish him for any outburst. The dog house baby!
Never ever flirt with your husband or grab his buttocks or his?uh?well you know?his what-cha-ma-call-its. After all, that is not holy and is more reflective of a slut and we know that all sluts are going to hell.
Keep a headache constantly. Don't take painkillers. If your head hurts all the time, you will always have an excuse for not getting in the groove with your husband. Of course the headache strangely goes away when you get ready to go to church.
When you do make love, only do it with the lights off. Never make love in the broad daylight. Never use candles or night lights. There must be complete blackness, darkness and such things of this nature. There's just too many things that you are dealing with from your past for you to allow your husband to see you butt naked. Maybe down to the bra and slip but even that is pushing it to the edge. After all, didn't you read somewhere where it is a sin for a man to look upon the nakedness of a woman???
Never permit yourself to enjoy the pleasure that your husband can give you. Women are not suppose to have fun in bed or even utter a moan even though one may slip every now and then. That is simply not holy. Just lay there and let him do “his business“. When he's through don't wonder him if you pleased him. After all?he did climax didn't he???
Never take a bath or a shower with your husband. This is simply asking for trouble. Take all of your baths alone. We all know that men get turned on at seeing their wives wet and naked. Besides, it's hard to take a shower (refer back to 6.) in the dark.
When he makes his move, get spiritual on him. Say something like this for example: “The Lord is leading me to read my bible tonight and fast sex. I will let you know when I come off of this fast.” Or you can say “No, honey?I won't wear that?only sluts dress like that.” Make sure your knees are covered 24/7. Surely he will understand. After all, God comes first and you must constantly remind him of that too. Remember?look married but not sexy. All women who look sexy are going to hell and you don't want to go there do you?
When you do make love always do it in the same place and same position. Never let him get you to try a different position or even a different place. Why rent a hotel if you are living in a home? That's stupid. Why lay on the floor by the fireplace when you have a bed in the bedroom? Besides, all of this takes up time and this thing must be over with in 10 to 15 minutes max. The dishes are still in the sink.
Remember?these ten tips must be followed to the impth degree. Only then will you be assured of destroying all sexual intimacy in you and your husband's relationship. Never mind that sexual intimacy is a beautiful form of worship in the presence of God. This is a realm of the spirit that must not be entered into because something about it is just not right?it makes you feel uncomfortable. Though it could be because of past experiences, you can't let yourself dwell on that now because you are saved, full of the Holy Ghost and that with tongues. Thus, you don't need to deal with your past (eww that hurts) nor is it necessary for you to let God help you in this area. Just keep it buried and keep your husband in longing and things will work out one way or another?won't they?
Joyce Rogers is the poetess and web author of http://www.SpicyPoems.com There you will find her sexually intimate poetry...a beautiful reflection of the holiness of sexual intimacy within the gates of marriage. She will celebrate her 28th wedding anniversary this year. She has written poetry since age 12 but started writing intimate poems on the night of one of her wedding anniversaries. Her first poem was The Act Of Marriage and since then she has written many and now runs a business from her home called Spicy Poems. In fact you can get a free 4x6 full color glossy of the poem entitled: The Act Of Marriage when you visit her site.
Copyright © 2007 By Joyce Rogers All Rights Reserved
“All women who look sexy are going to hell.”
It saddens me so much that there are people out there who really believe this is true. I’ve actually seen marriage guides like this for young women, real ones designed to be followed to the letter and it makes me furiously angry that regressive ideals still hold sway in so many places and taint so many young horizons.
There’s more to the dangers than that:
Or, the woman is ‘anxious’ from her realization that she is vulnerable to the hostile forces of nature and society. In response she seeks security from (1) love of God, (2) membership in a group, e.g., other similar women at church, and (3) love of her husband.
Extra credit for knowing E. Fromm.
She may put these three solutions in this order, i.e., (2) the praise, acceptance, approval, and security she gets from her group membership and (1) her love of God and/or Jesus more than (3) her husband who, after all, is only interested in that nasty thing men do. Besides, it’s only sex and, thus, doesn’t mean anything. And, after all, she only married him because society forced her to.
Now, if he stays married to her, then we know who the real forgiving Christian is.
I think everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but this is ludicrous. This type of "teaching" is why so many women (43%) suffer from sexual dysfunction these days. If you are a christan woman that is struggling with intimacy, check out this website that may help to clarify things for you. [Link Removed]
O.k., turn the tables and write this script from the male vantage point....you just described my 18 year marriag...blech!!
If I am not mistaken, nowhere in the bible does it say that a christian wife is not to enjoy sex with her husband. If I am wrong, someone please tell me. I am a christian wife and believe you can enjoy sex.
I don’t know much about scripture, I just remember my grandmother (a die-hard Southern Baptist ) telling me that women weren’t supposed to enjoy sex....the problem was that I did/ I do, but my ex-husband didn’t...he always made a huge deal out of it and I ended up feeling like there was something wrong with me for enjoying sex or wanting to enjoy it. Needless to say, after 18 years of a nearly sexless marriage we are now divorced.
I thorougly enjoyed this piece. It’s use of sarcasm to establish it’s point was great. I am a pk (preachers kid) 3 generations strong and sex was NOT something we talked about in the church. Ultra conservative, I missed out on so much fun with my husband because I was a virgin when I got married, he was quite the opposite and had plenty of experience to draw from. I was embarrased, shy, modest and because of that, I missed out on many things he wanted to do. I wish I could have known then what I know now...throw caution to the wind and have a blast with each other, there’s nothing wrong with that!
I see it has been a while since this post was made but I am a new member and felt a comment was necessary.
I was raised in a christian home where my discussion about sex with my mom consisted of....“do you have any questions about sex?” Well of course my answer was NO!!! And of course we did NOT discuss this in church. This led me to find out the answers on my own - ALOT OF EXPERIEMENTING!
As a Christian wife and mom I decided that my girls would not have to “find out” from anyone other than me. I have always been (age appropriately) candid with my girls. We have very frank discussions and I also taught a class at our church about being a senuous and Godly woman. The ladies in the class were very grateful that these topics were being discussed. So many times we are led to believe that because sex outside of marriage is wrong that it should not be GREAT within marriage. God created sex for our pleasure and purpose. If a man ain’t happy at home a man is going to get happy somewhere else.
I, as a Christina woman, intend for my man to stay happy and satisfied at home so he doesn’t have to look anywhere else for excitment. It doesn’t hurt to try new things in new places.
Sorry for the lengthy post....just had a lot that I wanted to say
I could not agree more. The pastor at church I attended in the past few years stressed to married women and men to go the extra step for your spouse (i.e. being dressed, hair combed and makeup on, looking nice like you did before you were married).
Wow- to each her own but wow- i do not for one minute think this is good. All I can see from this advice is D.I.V.O.R.C.E as i would not expect to be treated that way by my spouse.
WOW is all I can say
Personally, I find this piece insulting to not only Christians but women as a whole. I can’t believe it was featured.
". . .God comes first. . ." [snicker] Not in my bedroom. In my bedroom,
I
cum first!
heh heh heh
MB
)O(
http://www.starbringergallery.com/
“We all come from the Goddess and to Her we shall return like a drop of rain flowing to the ocean.”—Z. Budapest
“‘If God is male, then the male is god.’ . . . if our only images of the sacred are male . . . inevitably women will be devalued.”—Starhawk quoting Mary Daly
OMG
Vicki
"Temptation is often ringing the doorbell of life but opportunity knocks only once."
I loved this article! OMG people, this is satire for sure! I truly loved the way it was written. I am so excited to marry the man of my dreams... and be his baby! He is going to be one of the happiest men on earth. I am already telling him what to expect. I am a Christian woman, and I am careful about how much I say before I am married, But I set the pace for pre-marriage foreplay. He has a lot of anticipation burning in him. I cant imagine what the first night will be like. BAM! is all I can say!
I almost didn’t read this article thinking it was going to be a preachy thing. But, I’m glad I did. I found it amusing but also so sarcastically true. Follow those steps and you are sure to lose your man, or your chance at a life long happy relationship. Great NOT advice. I hope everyone reads this.
WOW-I thought this was funny, I didn’t take it serious! I actually do some of these things when I don’t want to be bothered anyway...but eventually I give in!!
WOW! this is something many need to see, I am a Christian woman married to a wonderful man soon will be 8 years. I am a high natured sex creature and I truly enjoy having sex with my hubby. Most people in the church feel that once you get married the sex stops, and this is one of the reasons there is a high number of divorces in the Christian community as well as infidelity in the marriage, the word of the Lord tells us that the marriage bed is honorable in all things and the bed is undefiled meaning that as long as both partners are in agreeance to a sexual act it is ok in God’s eyes unless it is something that would cause a breech in the marriage like multiple partners in the bedroom.
Neicy!
www.walkinginhislight.ning.com
"When I look in the mirror, I want to see the reflection of Christ in me." D. Richardson
Hahaha! Very clever! My first impression of the title was “Why would anyone want to do that?” The point exactly! But I must say I had many obstacles in my own ideas and impressions about heathly Christian sexuality to overcome, and could have related to this piece as correct many years ago.
I don't know why, but I believe the ancients taught their young women before marriage about these things so they were not uninformed or inhibited. Unfortunately, I see this swinging to the other extreme in our society where very young women are learning all these things, but in order to capture young men.
Blessings,
Coachmombabe
http://www.shilohhomeofhope.org
"Treat others as if they are who they ought to be and you help them to become who they are capable of becoming." Goethe
OK here goes, WOW, I forsee DIVORCE in a lot of marrages if this advice is taken to heart. Now for all of the rest of us that like and enjoy satisfing our hubby’s. And my own personal openion and belive me this is just that “my own” openion. I am a Romance Consultant for Temptations Parties there are a lot of products out there that say a christian woman won’t purchase even tho her body is telling her that she is in need of it. Like signature lube, a christian woman won’t go to a party or host a party in the home so she can purchase products like this but instead she will go to Wal-mart and purchase the all NEW KY Jelly infront of everyone and bring it home because with age some women do get a little dry and yes for enjoyment we need some help to get us wet and ready for him. Our minds may say yes yes yes but our body’s are screaming need more lube!!!!!!!!! Please. Just because some people think a Christian woman needs to act or be a certain way, Yes be pure and holy but do be intimate with YOUR husband that is holy. And yes we do have other stuff in our catalogs but for a christian it is no different than that christian walking into a grocery store to purchase grocerys and walks past the beer or wine and procides on to the check out. We all have a choice as to what to purchase and what not to. But make it your choice and what is right for each of us not just going by what someone else feels or thinks. lol ok i’ll shut up now, guess I have said to much already. ..........Lakelover
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