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You are Unique and Special as you are.
No one else can be You as well as you can. Your experience has been unique and special. If you are a woman in midlife and feel like you want to learn how to change your life, I’d like to suggest something very important. It’s okay to find external things that you’d like to be different, but, it’s important to finally learn to fully accept yourself, including the things you’ve judged as ‘less than’ up to now.
Midlife is an important time to spend time discovering your essence and enjoy the process of fully being yourself. This is KEY to helping making the aging process a happy one. Most of us were taught to think of others first - but, I have found that we cannot be truly all we were meant to be, until we learn to be ‘selfish‘. Being ‘selfish’ requires finding your true SELF - and nothing is more important.
Do Something New
Nothing will tell you more about yourself than doing something new.
Do at least one new thing for each birthday that stretches you beyond what you thought possible.
The spiritual life is about celebrating ever-expanding Good. One of my friends shared this tip with me many years ago. A fairly serious man, he took a class and actually performed in a stand-up comedy club. Another older woman friend went up in a air-balloon for her 80th birthday celebration. I just bought a red convertible - what about you?
It’s a huge mistake to think that changing the outer layer of ourselves will make the biggest difference. There’s a great joke that illustrates this:
A Great Smile
A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked “Is my time up?” God said, “No, you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live.”
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a facelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, “I thought you said I had another 40 years? Why didn’t you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?” God replied, “I didn’t recognize you!”
The Real Change
The real change that needs to take place in midlife is the change that has us dropping the negative things we so often say about ourselves, the fixation we have on changing things we don’t like and becoming something we aren’t. The best way I’ve learned about how to change your life, is to DECIDE that who you are is fine, just as you are. Once you have completely accepted that, it becomes easier to become MORE of the parts you like and the beliefs and habits that haven’t served you begin to drop away. The course in Miracles tells us that “That which we resist, persists.”
Nothing is broken; nothing needs fixing. Even if you don’t believe me at first, act as if that were true and notice what happens. You may find that you have finally found how to change your life without pain or suffering. What a concept!
It is one of my firm beliefs in life that Life is meant to be fun and easy. If you like that concept and want to read more, learn how to change your life for some practical ways you can start
About the Author
From Dr. Toni LaMotta, Midlife Reinvention Specialist, International Keynote speaker and award-winning author.