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The Shacking-Up-Checklist

By Yana Berlin

Congratulations!  You're in love and you're ready to get serious about making that special someone a more permanent part of your life.  You two have decided to move in together and you couldn't be more excited. You're now entering the part of the relationship where your lives become intimately intertwined, which means learning how to share your space, sleep, food and bills.  

First, the most important thing for you to keep in mind is that you're in a whole new dimension of the relationship now.  The first few weeks are going to be heavenly, as they should be!  But after the love dust settles, you will start to see how your habits and his mesh, or don't mesh.  For example, do you find you're the only one putting the dishes away?  Or maybe you fear the electric bill due to his bad habit of leaving lights on.  In short, you start noticing the little details that could end up driving you nuts.

But this is a normal part of sharing a home with anyone, not flaws you can't stand in your mate.  Sharing space is no easy task, as we all have our preferences and habits.  So in order to keep your home a happy one, just remember not to sweat the small stuff and pat yourself on the back for being flexible and willing to compromise (though don't compromise one everything or you'll wind up resentful).

Setting house rules is a necessary part of living with any other person, roommate, sibling, boyfriend—it doesn't matter.  You both want to keep your sanity while cohabitating, so letting each other know what your needs are and divvying up chores, is an essential part to making things work.

Perhaps the biggest obstacle you'll have to hurtle is avoiding the slump.  Plan a date night and get out of your pad and into the city for a night of fun couple-ness.  You don't need to plan dates anymore to insure you get some face-time, but you definitely need to keep the spark alive.  After all, he's not just a roommate; he's now you significant other.

And maybe that's the key to your mutual happiness: remembering you two love each other and both being willing to work through slumps and rough patches when they come along.  After all, you can't put relationship problems on hold as easily now that you live together—which can be beneficial.  Taking the time to talk things out face to face (instead of letting them simmer while you're apart) can help resolve issues much faster and keep things from building up to a giant blow out.  As my mother would say, you made a commitment, now stick to it!

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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Jul 10, 2010
    • My hubby and I were between places he was in his apartment and I in my home at the time and we would take turns spending the weekends at the others place, once we decided to get married he moved out of his apartment to save money and we lived in my home until we got married. It was truly an adjustment he is the packrat, I am not and I hate clutter, but we have learned over the years to compromise he has a little corner in the universe of our apartment that he can do whatever he likes just as long as it doesn’t flow outside of that space lol. We are currently looking for a new home to purchase.

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Luanne70 wrote Jul 18, 2011
    • Good advice! My bf, who is my ex hubby, and I are at the point where the next step is to move in together. He & his dog have been at my house for the past month. He only goes back to his house to cut the grass & get mail, bring more clothes over etc. We haven’t talked about it yet but I think it only makes sense especially when it comes to the bills because we‘re paying for two houses meanwhile we‘re only living in one. And we want to be together, that’s the most important reason why.


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