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Top 10 reasons why Middle Aged Men do not find Middle Aged Women Attractive.

By Beverly Mahone

Baby, Baby, Where Did Our Love Go?

When was the last time your mate swept you off your feet with a totally romantic weekend or evening? How often does he shower you with gifts for no reason at all? Who gets more of his attention—-you, his job or his friends? Have you been wondering if the spark has gone out of your relationship?  

While it may be easy to point the blame at your mate for what’s wrong in the relationship, have you considered your role in the breakdown? Out of curiosity, I wanted to know what men felt was needed to keep the home fires burning, so in a totally unscientific online survey I invited them to share their thoughts on the state of romance at midlife. Out of more than a hundred responses, the following is a list of the Top 10 Reasons why middle-aged men say they don’t find middle-aged women attractive:  

10. We nag too much—if you have to tell him to do something more than twice, just do it yourself.

9. We complain too much—constant complaining can lead to ailments like high blood pressure and stress. If he’s not listening, let it go. It’s not going to change anything.

8. We don’t know when to shut up—don’t you ever get tired of hearing yourself talk?

7. We‘re trying to wear the "pants" and we know they‘re "too big" (tie)—-You‘re a woman so act like one.

6. We've forgotten how to dress We're either wearing clothes that are TOO TIGHT or TOO LOOSE. Dress your age not your shoe size--and certainly don't wear an outfit that makes you look like a whale!  

5. We’ve forgotten what it’s like to have fun—-do you remember what it was like to let your hair down before you chopped it all off and decided to wear some "pants"

4. We want too much romance—if you make more money, give him all the romance he wants. And if he doesn’t want any, you save in the end.

3. We want too much foreplay—-how much hugging and kissing do you expect him to do before what goes up has come down?

2. We‘re overweight and overfed—try sending some of your food to a poor underdeveloped nation. Remember the story your mother used to tell you when you were a kid about the poor, starving children over there?

1. We take our mood swings out on EVERYBODY—Menopause is no excuse to be rude.

We stopped enjoying SEX!—-Now you wonder why he’s cheating on you?

In addition to being a Featured Writer for Fabulously40.com, Beverly Mahone is also the author of “Whatever! A Baby Boomer’s Journey Into Middle Age.” She has appeared as a baby boomer expert on a number of media programs including MSNBC and has been featured in the New York Times. To learn more about Beverly, visit her website: http://www.enjoyyourmenopause.com .


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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Dee Dee Simmons wrote Apr 30, 2008
    • Good grief, what an odd slant in that article! If a man doesn’t do a chore you ask, after asking twice, do it yourself??  Then he’d never do anything.  Ridiculous. You might as well say bow down and be a doormat, dressed in sexy attire.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kitty Baroque wrote May 1, 2008
    • How old was the person who wrote this? 20?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Sugarjo wrote May 1, 2008
    • Seriously, I do not find that most men in their early or mid 40’s view women of their age. Yes, there will always be a few who prove the rule, but moreso, I think men who are confident with themselves enjoy being with a woman who is smart, confident and not afraid to say what she means and ask for what she wants. The men surveyed for this little snippet sound like a bunch of spoiled 25 year olds. Ugh. And if they are men who are ACTUALLY in their forties, then they’ve been too busy trying to recapture their youth to notice all the wonderful ways in which they could be enlivening the romance in their relationship instead!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Genya2371 wrote May 1, 2008
    • totally makes sense. We have to stay young, pretty , in good mood and shape.



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Alexandra Boyd wrote May 6, 2008
    • This article is a not accurate whatsoever. And jmagnolia, I’ve been on this site for a while and it in no way portrays what we Fabulously40 women are about.

      Yes, with time, things lose their excitement. Do your 7 year olds get excited about the Wiggles like they did when they were 4??? No!!! So of course you have to use your imagination to keep the spark in a relationship. Because otherwise, with time it too can get ‘boring.’

      But these top 10 reasons are nonsense. So immature...



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Beverly Mahone wrote May 8, 2008
    • Since I am the writer of this article, let my clarify a couple of things.  First, the survey was about what men wanted women to do to entice romance.  The responses came back to the contrary.  They offered the things that turned them OFF when it came to their mates.  The ages of the respondents ranged from 41 to 62.

      Their responses are, in no way, a reflection of the women here at Fabulously 40 (unless your husband was one of the respondents).  

      I think what is interesting is the fact that there are men who really think like this and sad that they have wives who must condone their attitudes and behavior.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Amethyst wrote Oct 13, 2008
    • Ok, with all due respect, it’s a two way street. Men do not have to deal with hormonal changes as they get older. They need to be more understanding and stop making a menopause or perimenopausal symptoms a national joke.

      Maybe women would stop being grouchy if guys would learn to be more attentive to us as we age. Let’s face it, SOME of us do not age as gracefully as others and when we have the media, gorgeous celebrities and stories of how thin they are, shoved in our faces every day, it’s no wonder guys are drooling over younger women & our self esteem is low.  Guys need a reality check. If I had a personal trainer, 24/7 help and a personal chef, I’d look like them too.  

      As a matter of fact, some women DO need more foreplay as they age because we don’t get as easily aroused as we did when we were younger. Again, its hormonal and a natural process. True, not every woman may experience that, but the ole wham, bam, just doesn’t cut the mustard anymore.

      I expect as much from my husband as he expects from me. I do my best to take care of myself but there are some things that nature deals you that you can not fight and for me personally, plastic surgery is NOT an option.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Sugarjo wrote Oct 13, 2008
    • I have a 47 year old friend who tries to dress, wear makeup, speak and behave as if she were 20 years old...my H and I were discussing her latest adolescent adventure and he commented that he’d always thought she was pretty, but that now, at 47, she looks ridiculous and she should really behave more appropriately to her age, stop dressing as a slut, and cut back on the makeup. He said he admires women who still know how to be sexy, flirt, dress nicely, and take care of themselves. But he also appreciates being able to have an intellident conversation with a woman his age over a 20 year old any day. He respects a woman in her 40’s who is interested in her family and takes pride in her kids, keeps busy and is continuously keeping her life interesting. He said looks are important but they fade and aren’t what makes a woman interesting.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jgirl1331 wrote Jan 5, 2009
    • LOL
      In my opinion, I think the reason why middle aged men don’t find middle aged women attractive is that they are afraid of us..women over 40?  WE ROCK!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Nassa wrote Mar 30, 2009
    • If he is not listening, you are a doormat anyway, so might as well stop being a pain in the back too! Thanks the editors for the advice!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Sabrina M wrote Apr 9, 2012
    • This article has got to be the biggest crock I’ve ever read online! Is the woman who wrote this that self-loathing or is it a woman at all or some teenaged boy who logged onto his mother’s account? When it comes to relationship issues, why do people always make out like it’s always the woman’s fault and only her responsibility to do something about it?  Has anyone considered the possibility that maybe the problem is with the man being so emotionally immature and so passive-aggressive that they have to go for a younger woman so they can control them easier?



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