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A person's worth in this world is estimated according to the value they put on themselves. Jean De LaBruyere
Simply put, as women we have the tendency to based our worth on the outcomes of our lives. If our careers, relationships, health/wellness, and money is doing well then we feel like we are worth something. However, if anything within our life is shifted out of balance, we begin to question what we did wrong or better yet ask how this could happen to me.
For so long we have identified our worth based on the outcomes of our successes and failures. It is time that we take a look at redefining our worth as women.
How to Feel Worthless Take every obstacle and failure that you encounter and beat yourself over the head. Continue to remind yourself of how foolish you are for making such a dumb mistake.
Look at yourself in the mirror and reaffirm that you want to change but are afraid that you will automatically fail before you even try.
Scan the room around you and find all of the women who you wish you could be like and start reminding yourself of all your flaws.
Try to be like all of the girls around you. You cannot be yourself as if others perceive you as being successful they will no longer wish to associate with you.
Remind yourself that you do not deserve to be happy. It is your job to make other people happy and not the other way around.
Consequences of attaching to worthlessness:
Inability to internally find what is good about you and hold on to it.
Live in a state of constant failure.
Sabotaging and/or compromising your own happiness in order to "fit in."
Allowing yourself to be a doormat for people to walk on.
Teach your kids how to live their lives in the same manner.
How to Rekindle Your Worth Reshape your perceptions of situations within your life into "teachable moments."
Ask better questions. Instead of asking yourself "what did I do wrong?" or "why does this always happen to me?", practice looking at yourself in the mirror before you start your day and ask yourself "what am I worth?" or "how may I change my attitude towards this situation or person?"
Another response might be: Although I feel hurt by what was said or done to me, "I wonder what lesson I can take away from this experience?"
Stop holding on to feelings of worthlessness and respond. Holding on to unhealthy perceptions about yourself shuts down your spirit and emotions. Responding helps you "move" into a place of creating a better outlook for your person and situation.
Look at your past experiences as just that, the past. What I have learned is that when I held on to how people perceived how I "should" be, I felt like a complete failure when I could not live up to their expectations. I personally found myself being my worse enemy as I criticized myself to no end. It was not until I shifted my thoughts to my present situation(s) for that specific day that I realized that I had control over my feelings and emotions.
I have a great mentor coach who I work with remind me that "eagles do not fly with pigeons." When you compromise your worth in order to satisfy other people, you compromise your being. However, when you make the conscious decision to change your perception of who you are as an individual, others will take suit and notice.
You have the choice to decide whether or not you want to be enslaved by feelings of worthlessness or experience the freedom of being worthy.
April Lisbon-Peoples is a school psychologist in NV working with children with various exceptionalities for more than 5 years. She also enjoys working as a life enhancement coach with areas of training in career, wellness, and relationships. To learn more about what I do, please visit me at http://www.creatingmyvision.com
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