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There is perhaps no subject of greater obsession or importance than that of LIFE SUCCESS!
Who doesn't want to be a SUCCESS? Who doesn't want to SUCCEED? SUCCESS is a word loaded with meaning. Its meaning has been largely twisted by the media and the constant parade of e-mail blasts that promise people they can become millionaires in a few weeks and SUCCEED at anything they set their mind to.
Here is the interesting thing: Human beings are wired for SUCCESS since the time when consciousness emerges as the elementary awareness of the potential to achieve results. Have you ever watched a little child attempting to climb up a chair? Or trying to walk after crawling for many months? There is a determination and an insatiable drive to SUCCEED. We are all like that!
So what happens to these same people years later, though? They simply loose their drive. They find themselves stuck in a rut.
There has been a lot of talk in the last couple of years about “The Secret” which has led to a great discussion about SUCCESS in general. Thousands of people have read the work by Rhonda Byrne and they experience a sparkle of their old primal SUCCESS driven nature from childhood. "You mean to tell me I can be SUCCESFUL?" they seem to be muttering under their breath. It's a sparkle of hope. Like a dream that they are familiar with.
People often don’t realize that “The Secret” was just meant as an introduction to the “Law of Attraction” and as such left out a lot of information. Many people are trying to fill in that gap and most of them are UNSUCCESSFUL.
SUCCESS is a tricky word, but if we can peel away the cultural meaning of the word and understand its real meaning we could better understand the true meaning of success. The true meaning of SUCCESS is about making your life matter. Think of it: SUCCESS comes from the word SUCCEED, right? SUCCESS originally was meant to symbol what left behind as a legacy. SUCCESS means you have made an impact and have influenced your world.
I know this seems radically different than the SUCCESS you hear about everywhere else, but this type of SUCCESS is the type of SUCCESS that can't be lost. Once you are truly SUCCESSFUL you will find happiness and fulfillment that you have never known. The popular version of SUCCESS leaves you chasing it for your entire life hoping to stay SUCCESSFUL, but always on the verge of losing it. True SUCCESS can't be lost after it has been accomplished and leaves everyone, including you, better because of it.
So HOW can YOU be TRULY SUCCESSFUL?
Here are the principles that will make you SUCCESFUL. I use them in my own life and share them with people I coach. These principles apply to SUCCESS in:
· Parenting and family
· Recovering from the pain of divorce or a tragic loss
· Your professional life
· Studies or pursue of your career goals
· Your life purpose
HERE THEY ARE: The true secrets of success
1. Learn to manage the imperfection of LIFE.
No one, absolutely no one SUCCEEDS without learning to manage the imperfection of LIFE. There is very little talk about this principle in the SUCCESS circles. Human imperfection is our biggest challenge in life. No matter what you do you, will always face imperfection. I have watched people save thousands of dollars for years and lose a child to drugs... and then? I have watched others try their best at their profession and then they lose a spouse to a divorce... and then? I have watched people be great at something and forget that human imperfection is a part of life. THE FIRST PRINCIPLE OF SUCCESS THAT NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT IS LEARNING TO MANAGE IMPERFECTION!
There are three principles that will help you to harness the imperfection of life as your platform for SUCCESS.
a) Assume responsibility for your life. Accept your reality.
THIS IS THE MOST POWERFUL STEP YOU CAN TAKE TO BEGIN TO ACCEPT YOUR IMPERFECTION. Assume responsibility for your LIFE. It doesn't mean someone didn't hurt you. You are just not letting that person keep you down. You are saying to yourself... "It doesn't matter what happened to me, I will get up and do something about this mess!"
Never complain, or blame anything or anyone. Every time you complain or blame anyone for your misfortune you are calling yourself a VICTIM. That's right! You are actually saying that you are helpless, and are incapable to do anything about your situation.
People can CHANGE! You can CHANGE! Your brain is not hardwired, it has plasticity. Neuroplasticians are now telling us about the amazing plasticity of the brain by sharing fascinating pieces of research coming out of neurological labs. The new paradigm of brain mapping simply indicates that people can CHANGE more than we ever thought before! That is good news indeed!
b) Accept the imperfection of life as NORMAL in this realm
How is life imperfect? Look at what's happening around you... accidents, people hurting you, misfortune, bad luck, your own inabilities, your own limitations. IMPERFECTION IS NORMAL in this world of ours. What? Wow! This is the toughest one. Perfectionism is one of the greatest enemies of SUCCESS! Perfectionism is a myth, a bubble, a theory, but not a reality! It seems to contradict everything we say about SUCCESS. LIFE IS IMPERFECT. Once you assume responsibility for your life, THE SECOND STEP IS TO LOOK AT LIFE WITH REALISTIC EYES. Yes, some people will become millionaires, but most will not! Yes, some people will live to be 101, but most will not! Yes, we hope our marriages will last 70 years, but imperfect people make stupid moves. What's going to keep you down when something imperfect happens to you? Hear me out... THE ONLY THING THAT WILL KEEP YOU DOWN IS YOUR DREAMS ABOUT THE PERFECT LIFE WHICH YOU DON'T HAVE! SUCCESS begins with a realistic picture of LIFE!
c) Look at yourself as the captain of imperfection.
Here is the third step in accepting imperfection. ACTION!
You have the greatest power available in the universe: THE POWER OF CHOICE. Not even God can do anything about that one. You have a CHOICE. When something good happens to you, you have a choice. When something bad happens to you, you have a choice. CHOOSE to ACT and you will begin an immediate process of transformation!
2. Plan your destination
You probably think you already know who you are, but do you know what you really want to achieve in life. Most people don’t know what they really want. Likewise, most people couldn’t tell you all their strengths and weaknesses. Life happens to them, and they‘re so busy coping with it that they never really sit down and ask themselves what they really want, and what personal resources they can utilize in order to get it. If you don’t know what you want, it will be pretty difficult for you to achieve it. To achieve anything, you must have a clear goal. If you don’t know where you are going, you probably won’t arrive, and even if you do you won’t know it. Have you ever seen a treadmill at a gym? Will you ever arrive to a geographical destination by walking ten miles on a treadmill? The answer is obvious. Are you on a treadmill? Where is your life headed?
3. See yourself in the frame of God's power and presence in the universe.
THE THIRD KEY TO SUCCESS IS SPIRITUALITY. Anything beyond primal biology has to do with the realm of the spiritual.
The single biggest thing that prevents people from being successful is FEAR and fear is always a spiritual disease. Would you be afraid to fail if someone really successful would coach you and give you a 100% guaranteed success in your endeavor? What if your coach for finances would be Warren Buffet? Or your coach for technology and computer would be a Bill Gates? Or your basketball coach would be Michael Jordan or Kobe Bryan? What if your coach for LIFE would be God himself?
Spirituality is a frame of mind. Once you accept spirituality as your third key to SUCCESS you find yourself driven by amazing spiritual forces. THE FRAMING OF YOUR LIFE IS KEY TO SUCCESS. If your frame is fame you may achieve success or not. Why is that? Because you defined success as fame. If your frame is wealth, you may get it or not. Does it matter? Your frame defines your SUCCESS. Whatever your frame for life is, that is what is going to define your success. If you frame your life with the greater purpose of God for you, you will ALWAYS SUCCEED. God doesn't only tell you HOW to succeed, but has ALL THE RESOURCES available to help you succeed and hear this one... HE WILL NEVER COMPARE YOU TO ANYONE ELSE. YOUR SUCCESS IS YOUR ONLY KIND OF SUCCESS! I love this one!
4. Take action.
THE FOURTH KEY IN CREATING SUCCESS IS ACTION. I could talk about this for a long time. ACTION is one the major component of a successful life. Let me say this: SUCCESFUL PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS PEOPLE OF ACTION. Not just action for action's sake! RIGHT ACTION, not stupid action. PUPORSE DRIVEN ACTION not action to protect yourself. You understand what I am talking about. Many people decide on a goal and then research it and try to find out everything that could possibly happen if they start trying to achieve it. They spend so much time researching that by the time they are ready to do something, the window of opportunity has already passed by. A much better plan is to get as ready as you can in as short a time as possible, plan a strategy, take action, and have faith that you can correct along the way as needed. Just get started with whatever you’ve got from wherever you are. If my son Harold and I would have waited to have all the wrinkles of THE LIFE ZONE ironed out, we would still be waiting. We made a decision, we planned our strategy, we moved into action and we trusted ourselves to make corrections along the way. And there have been lots of corrections and changes since we started. NO SUCCESS ever takes place without FAILURES, and FAILURE NEVER HAPPENS WITHOUT ACTION! Got it?
5. Create successful relationships.
THE FIFTH KEY TO SUCCESS IS RELATIONSHIPS. By relationships I mean your family, your spouse, your marriage, your immediate community, good friendships. The first thing you want to do is to eliminate negativity. Yes, compassionately and kindly ELIMINATE negative, toxic, complaining people from your life as much as possible. If you contact me at www.lifezonelive.com I will be glad to share with you a grid I use to prioritize my own relationships. Some relationships are key to my SUCCESS. Others are not. And others are negative. You want to spend your time around successful supportive people, so that you can learn from them, and also be motivated by them. Since you can’t learn from someone you don’t like, you need to practice admiring successful people instead of being jealous and resentful of them. You don’t want to bring them down to your level; you want to bring yourself up to their level. Try to create a way to get together with successful people and maybe become personal friends with them. Sometimes it is true: “it’s not what you know, it’s who you know“.
FOLLOW THESE FIVE STEPS AND YOU WILL REACH TRUE SUCCESS!
Harold J. Duarte-Bernhardt is co-founder of the “LIFE ZONE.” Harold is a consultant, a seminar speaker and a LIFE Motivational Coach. The “LIFE ZONE” is a resource and a coaching center for personal and spiritual growth committed to providing sound strategies for dynamic living and LIFE FITNESS. Harold believes that PAIN is the greatest window into the best life has to offer! PAIN is never pleasant, it’s never fun; but great people have always faced PAIN and difficult times before they found the key to a magnificent life. Harold resides in Southern California and is the father of four wonderful human beings! For more information and coaching visit: http://www.lifezonelive.com or call 1-888-MYZONE2 (699-6632)
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