A lighthearted view of youth and growing old.

1. You move not only your head, but your hips too when you hear your favorite music you listened to in your youth
2. You switch off the news channel before the news ends because the program you really want to watch (on another channel) is about to start
3. If you know that you're going to see your ex (no matter if you're now in a stable, happy relationship) you make a special effort to show them what they're missing
4. You still use words like "cool" even though you think that the younger generation's grasp on grammar and vocabulary is appalling
5. You sometimes still get pleasure from picking your nose and looking to see what's come out of it
6. You've got at least one outfit left in your wardrobe that reassembles something your kids and their friends would wear
7. You still laugh hysterically at the funny bits when you happen to see the TV shows you watched as a child

1. The people who call you “the lady” or “the man” are children and teenagers but not quite adults as yet, (or so you tell yourself)
2. Your wrinkles can still be covered by make-up and your baldness by the long bits of your own hair (which you think no one notices but everyone talks about behind your back)
3. When you take your kids to see children’s films you hush them if they‘re noisy just so that you could hear all the dialogue
4. You still rely on the weatherman to tell you that it’s going to rain rather than the unusual ways in which your own body aches choose to let you know
5. You know who Voldemort is (you do, don’t you?)
6. You still remember what you had for breakfast yesterday, and you really don’t have any “good old days” stories
7. You can bend down and rise up again without passing wind
8. You clicked on this as soon as you saw it because you desperately hope that you would find even one point out of the fifteen to prove you’ve “still got it”