Yesterday I was a grouch! I don't get grumpy very often, small things don't normally set me off, and usually I find a way to pull myself out of it. But yesterday...it seemed like everytime I'd begin to pull out..something would happen...and I'd be right back in the pitifuls. Grrr... I hate that!

I've been without a dryer for over a week. If you can even fathom the amount of clothes 7 children and one grownup produce in a week, you should be able to understand how difficult it is to be without a dryer. The "dryer funk" as I'm going to call it began a week before when I pushed the button and heard a squealing (I first looked to see where the cat was)followed by an obnoxious knocking sound. It was horrid! I cried. Why did I cry? I cried because I could not yell up to my husband to come fix the dryer. He isn't there....I asked all of my male friends for their advice, hoping one of them would come to my rescue. One friend said, "Oh man...What are you going to do?" Another said, "Maybe you should just buy another dryer." All I wanted was for some man to come fix it! I opted to call the Maytag repair man...I've heard he isn't busy. Well apparently this one was because he couldn't come out for a whole week!

He finally showed up yesterday. He walked into the laundry room, after requesting I remove a week's worth of clothing from the room, pushed the button and ...it started. No weird screaching sounds...no obnoxious knocking...just nice purring. I wanted to say a bad word!Instantly my thoughts went to, if I had a husband he would have fixed this! Apparently the load of clothes in the dryer that my 16 year old son had put in there, had jammed something causing the drum to be stuck. When the clothes were removed..the problem was gone! So..why am I mad? Well..because it cost me 200 bucks that I don't have to fix a dryer that wasn't broken! And it reminded me of how we're not meant to be alone. And that I don't want to have to be "the man" of the house. I had called my friend who advised me to buy a new dryer, to tell him all was working now. His response...he laughed and said, "A man would have taken the clothes out and tried the dryer again." I wanted to scream at him...HELLLO....I'm not a MAN!

Everything that I hate about being alone raising my children came flooding into my head. Don't you hate that Sometimes I wish I could have a guy brain and just deal with the one box at a time. Then I would have just dealt with the dryer...and been done with it. But instead my spaghetti feminine brain decides that I am now upset that I'm too short to change the bulbs on the outside of my house.

Even though I've been single for three years, I still have the fairy tale dream stuck in my head. Surely someone will come along and rescue me from having to plunge toilets, fix dryers, replace light bulbs, and tell the 17 year old boy that he doesn't get to be on the computer for the rest of his life if he doesn't do his school work! I don't want to fix stuff..and I don't want to be the bad guy....I want to be the loving mom who gets to just be here to give hugs and kisses and read bedtime stories. I went to bed with tears in my eyes last night.

This morning I remembered a time sitting in church about 2 years ago. I got this vision of Jesus riding on a white horse... He stopped right in front of me and reached his hand down...I grasped his arm..and he pulled me onto the horse. I wrapped my arms around him, crouching behind him ... He drew a sword, the horse unfolded it's wings, and we flew off into battle. He promised to go with me into the battle. Sometimes the battle is simply battling the broken dreams caused by a broken dryer. He gives me the strength to go on...even though I'm not a man...

After I dropped my son off at work, I headed over to Ace Hardware and picked up a couple of light bulbs. I was still too short to replace the bulbs. As I looked at the sconces I suddenly realized they pivot. I pivoted the sconce toward me, reached in, replaced the light bulb. I then went into the house, flipped the switch, and then...there was light. TA DAH! Feeling powerful and ready to conquer my life - I went into the house...and hugged Erica.

Be Powerful! Not Pitiful!
Terri