men and women

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I very much enjoyed the language article on men and women with communication differences. I have noticed this myself in business and teaching. It is known that by the 3rd grade girls start to do this even in the classroom and that teachers pay more attention to boys asking (or interrupting) to answer or ask questions. It isn’t on purpose or consciously done-it is interesting just the same. I do try to be aware of that in my classroom.

With regards to the middle aged men-I did find the list of 10 things middle aged women do interesting. What if, for sake of argument, some middle age gals stay fit as they can given the age thing, wear the dress so to speak, tend to keep the blah blah to a normal level and are into their sexuality with their life partner…can it be that men just have a hard time with their age group and look for a younger gal to keep the ‘youth’ myth alive no matter what we do? I have many guy friends and they do tell that the young girl thing is a link to the vital male hold, just as we middle age gals get a small kick from a younger guy giving us a compliment in some form. It is all just a challenge and I just want my cup of coffee and a blankie!
Tammy :)




Member Comments

    • yana wrote Apr 30, 2008

    • You are sooooo right Tammy.

      Men in general are insecure regardless of what they have all of us believe, and they do need a young gal as a reinforcement that they are “still good for something“, however, if it’s blatantly pointed out to them that they look silly they tend to change their mind. (I have several guy friends who introduced me to their “hot dates“, and I was up front and personal telling them that they look like jackasses, two out of three are now dating women their own age. Men….you can’t live with them, you can’t live without them.

      my two cents for the day.
      :)


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    • stephanie wrote Apr 30, 2008

    • HI Tammy- I totally agree!!

      What woman doesn’t love it when a younger man compliments her? And vice versa like you said..


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    • changingpeople wrote May 1, 2008

    • Tammi, glad you liked the article. I think it is fascinating looking at the differences. I can see it all the time on my training seminars.
      I have had women come back to me after trying to change their behavour in mixed groups, like consciously stopping nodding or allowing themselves to be interruptd an dthey tell me it feels great! If a little odd at first...
      I don't know if it's nature or nurture but it's fascinating!

      There is some other stuff on communication on my web site if you‘re interested.
      Kind regards!


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    • tammywilson wrote May 1, 2008

    • Yana,
      That is a good point. I have many guy friends dating ladies in the early to mid 20’s and they are almost 40. I just remind them that these young ladies are going to want a famiy and regardless of the fact that they (the guy) already have children and ‘think’ they are done, the young gal is going to rightfully want a family of her own. That gets them thinking…ahhh realy? I’m not enough just me and my kids? I say to them sure, but she is going to want a man that wants kids with her. It’s just the facts and then they I let them know I don’t think they are being very fair to the young gal by even suggesting they give up a family for themselvs. Ages, stages, and seasons are best shared-not negated. It is rare to find this match really fair to both.
      I say Stella tried to get her groove back and we can all understand the ‘feeling’ she got out of it short term. Long term is a different thing. Ah, reality…


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    • tammywilson wrote May 1, 2008

    • Hi Stephanie.
      Yes, a young mans comments are very flattering. When I ever do get the surprise comment or look, I am surprised, confused, and lightly excited about it. This leads into the thought, “did he see me or does he have bad eyesight.” I start telling myself it was a false alarm, and that he surely didn’t see the crows feet or backside…isn’t it funny how we second guess not only ourselves as women sometimes, but the thoughts or comments of others too. My daughter reassures me but the mirror doesn’t lie. I am still wondering who’s hands these are that I don’t recognize like when you looked at your grams hands and thought, “what happened there?“. Yet, after the traumas of high school stories from my daughter and her friends, I am so happy to be the age I am. Hope you are doing well. :)


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    • tammywilson wrote May 1, 2008

    • Dear Changing People,
      I have ready your comment twice and printed out the article. It leads me to a funny story about yesterday when I had a F-18 fighter pilot come by my classroom to do a report on him for the local papers. (I write as a 2nd job)
      He is a good friend of mine and one dating a younger gal although he has 2 kids from a previous marriage. I, of course gave him the ‘younger gal’ family conversation and he sees the point. As we were discussing his answers for the article and I was writing about his other job, Afterburner Seminars, we touched on communication issues and I brought up your article with regards to the way men and women communicate in a business setting. He was facinated by the difference and I printed an article out for him to take with him. We both work on Toys for Tots and have done many networking events together. He is ‘keyed in’ to communication and both agreed that we were somewhat unaware of the differences, however noting that we both did what the typical gender assoicated with in your article. Even the awake and alert are constantly learning and I thank you for stretching my insight and abilities to communicate more effectively in a mixed group. Tammy :)


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    • changingpeople wrote May 1, 2008

    • Tammy, that is really interesting, thanks. I am actually thrilled to think of you reading my stuff half way across the world!I love the way you casually drop in fighter pilot! I have visions of him coming by in his jet!
      Do let me know if you make any changes as a result and what happens. Thank you!
      Jane


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    • tammywilson wrote May 1, 2008

    • Jane,
      Thanks for the add on. How do I add me on to your profile?
      BTW, my fighter pilot friend is on his way east right now. Where are you located? I will keep you informed of the changes we both notice from the information we now have. I am interested to see how hard it will be for me to change my mmmhmm and half smile/nod while in a business setting coming up on next Tuesday. I am purposefully going to make myself aware of the gestures and take mental note of the challenge(s) and difference(s) of the communication. Testing…1,2,3… :) Tammy
      Cultural Div. Psych major w/ Ed (double)


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    • changingpeople wrote May 1, 2008

    • I am based in UK, in south west of England. Not sure about profile. I think we just click friends!
      Jane


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Business owner, teacher, writer, mother, heath nut that loves to network people that are like-minded together.

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