Member Comments

• coachfredette

  • Silver
    Offline
  • Posts (7)
    Points (15)

  • coachfredette wrote on Jul 5, 2008
    

  • I can appreciate where you are coming from, I was married when I was 20 and divorced at 36. I pretty much grew up in my marriage and missed alot of what the 20’s was all about. Rather than celebrating my 21st birthday I was taking care of a 2 month old. So when I got divorced in my mid thirties I did a lot of what I should have done in my twenties. Like dating, partying, etc.

    I too signed up for eharmony when I was first divorced, the challenge for me with eharmony was that I live in a very rural area so unless I was willing to travel and/or relocate I didn’t have too many choices for dates. So I fumbled my way through in my small town, meeting and dating a few guys the first year after I was divorced without much success.

    It was only after I took some time to do some soul searching and really quantifying what I wanted and required in a partner was I able to meet that person and I am happy to say it has been wonderful.

    So if you haven’t done it yet I would encourage you to make a list of the qualities you require in a partner and in your relationship. Then just wait for the universe to produce him and just have fun in the mean time. Thanks for sharing your story, it is great to know that I wasn’t alone.

  
  

  ---

  Report Abuse

  Reply to comment

  
  
  
  
• virgo13

  • Silver
    Offline
  • Posts (6)
    Points (7)

  • virgo13 wrote on Jul 5, 2008
    

  • Thanks for your message. I completely agree with putting things out into the universe. I’m a firm beliver that the universe always conspires in our favor.

    My dating experience has been a quite different from yours because I live in a large, cosmopolitan east coast city; where everyone is too busy, too harried, 5 minute attention span and jaded with the luxuries a big city offers.
    The ratio is 4 women to 1 man, so they are in no hurry for committment or even establishing meaningful, purposeful relationships.

    I also don’t have children and find myself meeting men that are NOT SURE they want any; men that share custody with their kids or my all-time favorite…men MY AGE that want a 25 year old trophy girl.

    This is not the general consensus and I can only speak from my personal experiences. I’m sure some of them are just guilty by “gender” association and not because they feel/act this way.

    I am at times tempted to leave my beloved city.

    Funny thing you should mention this letter to the universe.
    I have written a letter myself; a checklist of sorts I will call it.
    I call it my: Added Value. I use this term to define experiences, people and things in my life (and OUT of my life as well).
    In this letter to the universe I have listed the emotional, spiritual, sexual, physical and financial values I need in partner. The last two being last on my list since money and beauty will never sustain any relationship.

    I trust the universe will manifest itself and send my way exactly what I’m looking for.

    In the meantime, I am enjoying dating and meeting new people. They all teach me something about myself and what are deal breakers and deal makers in my life.

    This list serves as a barometer of sorts and a checklist. I go back to it often and sometimes even after my dates.

    I guess I’m not alone!

  
  

  ---

  Report Abuse

  Reply to comment

  
  
  
  
• vgirl

  • Silver
    Offline
  • Posts (53)
    Points (58)

  • vgirl wrote on Jul 5, 2008
    

  • hello———I am separated currently for 2 years after a 30 year marriage. I am 51 and this freedom has been unbelievable. What I have found is there is a lonliness after being married. I have decided that there will be no toxic people in my life. My friends have literally saved me at the worse times and I believe I am doing ok. Everyday seems to be a struggle financially, but even that is something I am dealing with. I have 2 teenage sons, 20, and 23. They get a bit outspoken at times as they live with me. I told them they are allowed to have an opinion, it doesnt mean I am listening to it. If you are successful with the dating sites, thats great. My advice is to be careful. Let us know how you are doing! vgirl

  
  

  ---

  Report Abuse

  Reply to comment