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On Dating Younger Men


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If you were my close friend, you would know that I’m not exactly flexible. In fact, I tend to be very opinionated, judgmental and sarcastic.  (Having put this down on paper, I suddenly find myself wondering how I’m so fortunate to have so many friends.)

Recently, one of my dear girlfriends met a man that she really likes.  However, she wasn’t sure how our immediate group of friends would react to the fact that her beau is 10 years her junior.  Fortunately, she confided in me before getting all stressed out about the relationship.  My reaction to her situation even surprised me.

At age 20, I would have been shocked.  At 30, I might have felt a bit apprehensive.  But at 41, I think it’s phenomenal!

love and dating

In the previous century (also known as the dating Dark Ages), a 10-year difference would have constituted a serious hurdle for those in the relationship.  It would also have stirred up plenty of disapproval from those outside it.   But come on, people, this is the 21st century!  Why should a 10-year age gap be a big deal?

I think it’s wonderful when a man is attracted to a woman for all the right reasons.  If a 30-year old successful, educated male is interested in a 40-year old woman who is beautiful, versatile, funny, sharp and successful, what’s wrong with that?

Why is it that all of us have to live by the rules?  Why do we need to explain our actions or defend ourselves when we are in love or in lust?  Why do we have to be just like everyone else?  Why do we have to constantly conform to what society expects of us?

The beauty of being fabulously forty is that we don’t!

Who cares what our neighbors think?  Or what our ex-mother in law gossips about?  And the women at the gym need something to salivate about, don’t they?  You’re both adults, and as long as the relationship is based on love, respect and trust, it doesn’t matter how big the age gap might be.

The truth is, this is your life, and it’s your responsibility to live it and enjoy the heck out of it.  So the next time you start to get stressed out about a situation that doesn’t fall into the typical “norm,” forget about analyzing it and trying to accommodate everyone around you.  Instead, do what feels right for you and “go for the gusto!”

After all, if you don’t make yourself happy, who will?

All the best,



Member Comments

    • alexpopovic wrote Aug 7, 2008

    • Exactly – well said!  My husband is only 5 years younger than me, but when I met him that was the biggest obstacle (at least in my mind!)  

      However, pretty soon I discovered that his warmth, sincerity, maturity etc had nothing to do with his birthdate.  Judge the person based on their personality and what’s happening in their heart and soul, where it truly counts!


    Reply to comment


    • nikkiw66 wrote Aug 7, 2008

    • Well said that woman! If a man were to date a woman ten years his junior he would do nothing but smile from ear to ear and be congratulated by his male friends, why shouldn’t women react in the same way.

      I recently heard this quote from Billy Connolly and I think that it sort of fits here:

      “You pass this way but once. There’s no such thing as normal. There’s you and there’s the rest, there’s now and there’s forever. Do as you damn well pleasy, or you’ll end up a boring pot-bellied old fart.”

      Mwah
      Nix


    Reply to comment


    • irolyne wrote Aug 7, 2008

    • **__My Boyfriend is 11 years my junior. I am 40, he is 29. Ten years ago I would have thought that was an awful thing to do, but today I see nothing wrong with it. I do not notice the age difference unless I ask him what he was doing in the mid 80’s ;)


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    • gabby wrote Aug 7, 2008

    • Hi All!
      I too see no “taboo” in a relationship with a man of your dreams—no matter what his age! After all, ” Love knows no barriers, it is the divenest thing of the human heart.”

      Well anyways, I’m deeply in love with my husband who is four years my senior. But I would say, why not if you want to—why should you care what others say or think or talk about?

      Besides, two of my sisters have married men 10 years younger too. And that was over 20 years ago!!

      You are so right Yana—it all depends, but most importantly, if it’s all for the RIGHT REASONS, then no problem.
      Gool


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    • emergiblogrn wrote Aug 7, 2008

    • I would have absolutely no problem with dating a younger man! I happen to be married, so it won’t be happening any time soon, but really, what is the big deal in this day and age!: )


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    • yana wrote Aug 7, 2008

    • How wonderful to get your feed back and know that we all seem to agree on this topic.
      (even when the top five posts, show everyone to be born in a different country, with different upbringing, values, and outlook)

      Amazing how ten or fifteen years ago we would of also agreed that dating younger men was nuts.

      What can I say? The power of girlfriends, no one understands us better than the other women who are recognizing and celebrating Fabulously40 Syndrome.

      Yana


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    • tezzy wrote Aug 7, 2008

    • Hi Yans  

      I totally agree with this Article you just wrote cos age is just a number . If you have things in common with eachother then why not?  

      I think it is wonderful to find love really doesn’t matter about the age difference … What counts the most is been Happy and enjoy Life !!


    Reply to comment


    • divorcecoach wrote Aug 7, 2008

    • You are right on! I love the passion you have about living your life and not worrying about what others think. That is what I try to instill in my clients all the time, so many of them are so worried about what “they” might think it drives them crazy. Wow, “they” have some unbelievable power don’t you think.  

      Great article Yana. Oh yeah, my “man” is seven years younger than me. So I am a big fan of dating younger men. My ex-husband was six years older than me. So I have tasted both ends of the spectrum and I have to say I like the younger end much better.


    Reply to comment


    • jdbartek wrote Aug 7, 2008

    • I dated a man 10 years younger and married him last year.  Our first anniversary is coming up soon.  While we were dating I never felt it was taboo.  It was always great seeing the look on faces when we would discuss our ages.  He would get the “you lucky dog” look from his male friends, I would get the “you go girl” response from mine.  

      Regardless of age or outside opinions, I highly recommend dating someone you feel strongly about and who makes you happy.


    Reply to comment


    • blondiebabeo wrote Aug 8, 2008

    • I am 54 yrs old,and I prefer to date younger men.. I donot feel my age,and I think younger men keeps me feeling younger.. And younger men that are attracted to older women donot seem to mind either.. :)


    Reply to comment


    • pcmccullough wrote Aug 9, 2008

    • "":http://www.pcmccullough.com/ for 25 years, and then single for 10 more, I dated men both younger and older than myself and learned that age does not always equal wisdom and experience does not necessarily result in expertise. Two years ago, I met my Perfect man when I wasn't dating at all. I'm 58 and he is 45. I'm a little country and he's a little rock and roll.  There are differences and similarities that make us sole mates (yes, I spelled that correctly - we want to be only with each other).  The differences make for interesting conversation and exciting times as do the similarities.Life has a funny way of making plans for us and we need to keep our minds and our hearts open if we are ever to enjoy its true pleasures.  

      PC McCullough www.pcmccullough.com


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    • dydan wrote Aug 10, 2008

    • I am 40, my partner is 25.  When we first met he wouldnt even tell me his age because he was afraid I would judge him.  And, I’ll admit I was a bit concerned at first by the age difference.  

      We’ve been together 2 years now and its been the best 2 years of my life!  This relationship is far more healthier than any of my previous ones.  In the past I typically dated men who were older than me…this one is more mature than any of them!


    Reply to comment


    • khrys wrote Aug 10, 2008

    • I just responded to the ‘Would You Date a Younger Man’ post. Let’s just say ten years lated, I’m glad I did :)
      Khrys


    Reply to comment


    • julesperez wrote Sep 14, 2008

    • OMG, you are so right! I have been dating my bf for 4 years now, he is 7 years younger and I have this hang up because of this huge age difference, but after reading this, I feel much better and will start enjoying my relationship for what it is and not worry so much what everyone else is thinking because after all he makes me happy.

      Thank you for sharing, your story has inspired me =)


    Reply to comment


    • taynalady wrote Sep 30, 2008

    • Im also dating a young man and so happy w/him.  I believe young man are so mature and they are secure of what they want in a relationship.  I dont regret been w/him.

      I love u baby!!!!!!!


    Reply to comment


    • glomaros wrote Oct 8, 2008

    • i totally agree with this article… but what if it’s him who has the problem with the age difference… ? i actually dated a guy who is 11 years younger than I. We dated for a year… and he constantly kept bringing the issue of the age difference. He loved me and i still do love, but his concern about the age just couldn’t let him be relaxed so he ended the relationship.
      I don’t see anything wrong with the age difference… it’s only a number. What matters is the feelings and the love one feels for each other. I enjoyed and loved being with him. I wish he could’ve worked his issue to continue this exciting relationship.


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