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Love Horoscope September 16, 2008
Finding a preferred direction in your intimate relationships may prove difficult at the moment. You want, you want, you want; but you're not all that sure what it is you want! Although this may be a frustrating time for you, things will become clearer soon. In the meantime, avoid venting your frustrations on those close to you or you may find yourself sitting in a corner moping alone.

STEP 1: THE SECRET

If you watch Oprah, you know what I'm talking about.  If you don't, it boils down to this—the secret of The Secret is that you have to have a clear vision of what you want and don't keep it a secret.  Put your wants and your goals out in the universe with an unfaltering belief that you will indeed get what you want.

So I am working on my Vision Board to help me stay focused and pasting it on the Internet for all my friends and their friends' friends to see.  This project turned out to be a lot tougher than I thought it would be.  I want what most everyone wants—love, happiness, a comfortable life, and yes, success.  But seriously, if I am lucky enough to achieve the first three, then success is just icing.
Love, happiness, comfort, and success.  It's just too vague. A friend heard an example that goes like this—"You just can't go up to a counter and say, 'I want lunch.'  You have to be specific."

I thought, I am Meg Ryan in ‘When Harry Met Sally.’  When it comes to food I have no problem with specifics. I'd want a pastrami sandwich on rye, toasted, with sauerkraut, the Russian dressing on the side, 2 pickles, and an iced tea, lemon on the side, with a cup of extra ice to go. And extra napkins. Oh, and the raw sugar that comes in those brown packets.

I know food, I dream food, and food lasts for as long as you leave it on your plate.  And if you don't like it you can always order something else.

But husbands?  Jobs?  They don't come on a menu with limited choices and the sides already listed for you.  Wouldn't that be great?  "Do you have the Gorgeous , Rich, Well-endowed, Faithful husband? With a Private Jet on the side?  No? Ok, then I'll take #7, The Kind & Rich Husband combo, with extra sex drive and a side of the 6-bedroom Colonial house in the Hamptons.  Oh, and throw in the job of the lead singer of the Pussycat Dolls—oh you no longer have that on the menu?  Ok, then make it the high-level executive sales job for Sotheby's with a full benefits package topped with a wardrobe allowance."

If only it were that easy.  Our choices are not usually that glamorous they are infinite and constantly changing.  And in the real world, we don't have the option to return a spouse as easily as Brangelina adopts children nor do we have the luxury to quit a decent job as quickly as John Mayer has changed girlfriends.

I need to figure out some realistic goals.  I don't have 20 years to work my way up the ladder.  And dammit, how I hate to say this-as if my mother hasn't said it enough—the clock is ticking.  I have 1 year, 2, on the outside and abysmally depressing odds of having a healthy child.  I need to find a fairly well-to-do match.  A gold digger I am not, but invitro is expensive.  

The Accelerated Plan it is.



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