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Yesterday I was involved in a couple of threads that started out fun and light and then became a little honest... and that honesty seemed to “offend” some people...  And reading through those same threads again, it’s made me really think about some things here on this site.  I have to say I’m a bit disturbed.

It seems to me that Fab40 is for meeting new women who may be experiencing some of the same things - some of the same life challenges.  Fab40 is for sharing new ideas and for supporting each other...  Fab40 is for having a place to vent, if necessary...  I have definitely done my share of that in the short time I’ve been here.  And I’ve “met” some really wonderful women - including getting to meet one in person last night...

It disturbs me that there are some who get so easily offended and then there are as many apologies flying around as there are ideas...  That is sad...  Yes, women are emotional creatures.  But we are also strong and have relatively thick skin...  We are all mature (at least in age) and shouldn’t we be able to read something without automatically taking offense??  I have to say, this actually makes me question whether or not to even respond to anything remotely controversial...  And I didn’t think the threads I was part of yesterday were controversial at all...  

I’m not intending to offend anyone with this blog either...  I’m just saying that I don’t believe others are trying to be offensive or hurtful either... and some of us need to think twice, or TWENTY TIMES, before automatically flying off the handle and slamming someone for a comment...  I’m babbling and not sure if I make sense, but this has been bothering me all morning....



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Desi~lu wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • Be slow to speak and quick to listen, that is my motto.  In this case be slow to type responses until your positive it is what you really want displayed.  

      I’m with you, people seem to get offended so quickly and easily.  

      I just love being forty, cause I’m so mature and thoughtful.  LOL



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • I hear you my darling.  Welcome abroad!  You are on  the same boat with me.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenni0811 wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • “Can’t we all just get along......”



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      AnneMarie Kimberling wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • Teeky, Desi, and Chinadoll - thank you for your support...  Means a TON!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marie Hempsey wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • I am with ya too sister!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Coachmombabe wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • I totally see where you are coming from. I tend to be very hard to offend, I just hope that doesn’t mean I’m not
      sensitive to others. I’d rather not post a comment if I think it may hurt or anger someone. It’s just too difficult to make ones true self known in this format. But I’m sure there will be times I will have to back-pedal and ask for forgiveness. I appreciate the grace that I encounter here!

      Blessings,
      Cindy



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Darla5 wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • I have read some post that were down right mean and rude.In almost every case I have just made a choice to not respond. We are all different. We can all learn from each other. As I tell my business partner, if we were alike on everything then one of us is not needed.  

      I have learned through the years to save the heavy artillery(harsh words) for later and I am always glad I did. There are still moments when my Italian temper comes to the surface. Thank God it seems to be less and less. I pick and choose my battles.

      I believe that ninety five percent of the people on this site have the best of intentions. There is that five percent that are going to let you know they are here EVERY TIME THEY ARE ON!!! If they bother you... YOU have a choice. Respond or move on. Is it worth the stress to respond??? For me the answer is usually no.

      I love the positive post. I am always learning and I feel uplifted after sharing in them. Thank you all for sharing a part of your heart and soul with me and so many others!!!!
      NO wonder this site is called Fabulously... It truly is for me.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • This is my 2 cents worth of opinion and remember it is in Chinese Yen.  

      Sometimes it is not we are not sensitive to others
      rather it is the others being sensitive and sort of immature.
      I care less now if I harm anyone for I have tried and it’s time for me to stand up!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • I have to agree on all sides. Sometimes there are those that go over the top. I finally have learned to step back, as the last word does not mean a thing, and i do not need to have it! I know me better than anyone else.

      I am learning to take what i like and leave the rest.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      AnneMarie Kimberling wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • AMEN!!  Sometimes it is far more graceful to hold our tongue... But there are also moments of true passion where we do need to “STAND UP AND BE HEARD” - right, Chinadoll?  I guess there is a line we all walk and it’s different for each of us.  Hmmmm... more for me to think about....



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • In general, I do not like the tip-toeing just because others are sensitive.  I did try my fair share just to respect Yana and this fabulous community.  I don’t know if this will ever change, until we are become matured, drunk or drugged up!  IMHO



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • Darla, you got me thinking and worried, though 95 perecent are “Fabby“, 5 percent are spoiled.  What the actual number would be though I am not in account or finance?

      Not this blog related note: I cannot indicate the percentage sign?? Strange



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • well I am a  

      B.I.T.C.H.

      B- beauty
      I- in
      T- total
      C- control
      H- of herself

      lol



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Darla5 wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • Tracy, I have that song in my head now!!!! Do you know the one????



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      AnneMarie Kimberling wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • Tracy - that is so funny!!

      Darla - RIGHT ON SISTER!

      VintageDiva - you are truly a wise woman!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Yana Berlin wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • Now, that’s truly FABULOUS.....everyone getting along that is.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenni0811 wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • Love the B.I.T.C.H.    I’m going to adopt that motto!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Darla5 wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • Tracy... here you go!!!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • I have that tune in my brain now: sang by Paul McCarthy and Stevie Wonder, something... with ivory, living together in perfect harmony, side by side together..something like that.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marie Hempsey wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • Tracy...I love that! Darla, i love that song...LOL



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Bobbi Bacha wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • Darala5 I now have that song in my head.  

      I agree, Ive seen some terrible back and forth going on the site, and just recently was targeted and falsely accussed.

      I agree with this post to a point.  I agree that the site is not made for the voices and opinions of the few, its for all the women to be able to meet, talk, exchange ideas, etc.  

      As far as the Bitching (I dont agree), I think that too much of the Bitching, will scare off women wanting to relate to other women and chase them from the site.

      When I first came here I was enjoying the women to women discussions, and it was later that I started seeing pack like mentality, aggression and bullying. (Even those boycotting others blogs)  Thats not right at all.  

      I recomend we all just try to be civil.  

      Make no accusations, and respect each others, religion, politics, and differences.  With out pushing our beliefs on others or forcing others from the site.

      The site should be for all women, not just the few.

      Lets just be civil !  AMK Im for one sorry you even felt disturbed, as I dont think that this site is intended for that purpose.  

      I think all will settle down.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • omg, lol i heard that song a long time ago but never really listened to it. It is so me!! Is that a bad thing?  

      TY darla, now it is stuck in my head!!

      (((AMK)))

      I also know I have been in the ‘problem’ posts. And I am sorry if i offended anyone, but like many of us, I sometimes go with my emotions. My hubz says since i got ill i got worse. lol I know i have due to the fact people do not look at me the same way anymore. But, I am the same tracy in this body, the body is just different. lol I still am educated, intelligent, sexy, lol and a bitch!!  

      loves ya ladies!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • I do not see you bitchy Ms Tracey
      perhaps because I do not live with you daily

      I think it is all due to the personalities
      if I am picky of myself,
      I am sure will be picky to others.
      if I am forgiving of my own wrong doing
      I am sure I will learn to forgive others nitty gritty

      I sometimes wonder how I started off nice with someone
      and yet turned into sour p__sy
      I sometimes want to make up
      however it takes two to kiss up
      and only time will tell.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Michelle Rowe wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • I’ve seen some doozies here too and choose not to participate. I always suggest using the private messaging to resolve and differences two people may have. I don’t believe in public displays of nastyness.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • Allow me for my injection
      Speaking from my own experience
      I received private messages
      on which were full of emotions
      On the surface, it seems to focus on resolving the indifference
      Rather it is a threat and power struggle
      So it is not really helping me
      I was back to square one or minus one.
      Oh well, I am learning not to care
      But it still bothers me,
      otherwise, I would not be here
      In this very post, my dear.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • AnnieMarie, I apology for taking up room in your post.
      And to you the viewers, most important and the utmost
      is we are here for a reason
      to be friends or to be stinkers to someone
      there is always a lesson so we learn to grow
      I’ve done enough sharing and venting
      I am off to the puppies and rub their tiny nose.
      Rhyming is my beauty for I need pay no attention to the grammar, punctuation, singular or plurals, just to let you know.
      I now shut up, vanish and go!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • chinadoll, that is when you just do not read or reply.
      it is hard to do, but sometimes ya just have to.

      Roger said if i did not stop getting upset he would not let me back as stress is not my friend! ;)



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      AnneMarie Kimberling wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • Chinadoll - no apology needed...  It’s all good....



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      AnneMarie Kimberling wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • Hmmmm...  not saying I disagree with apologies.  I have a tendancy to apologize way too much, even when I had nothing to do with the issue... But what I’m saying, I guess very bluntly, is that there are a few who get their panties in a wad way too easily...  Chill out!  We may not agree with each other all the time, but we still need to be respectful and civil (as Greeneyed said earlier).  

      Thank you, everyone, for your thoughts and comments...  I’m NOT offended by anyone’s input - even if I didn’t agree... and my panties are fitting quite well just like they should be...

      Hugs!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • omg lmao...my panties are fine too!!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Darla5 wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • China doll- To much info...hahaha

      I guess you can start singing Born FREE....haha



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Coachmombabe wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • Chinadoll, I just love you!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • I am sorry (Oops I say that sorry again)...

      Where is the blog of My Most Embarrassing Moment?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Shopgirl1960 wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • (((( Ditto)))))  I love her toooooo~!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Bobbi Bacha wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • Peeper perfectly said. Bravo.

      Keep the postive energy flowing on this site.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • Dear bernadette68: thank you for you great insightful comment.  I learn much from you and I definitely won’t mess with you!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Nov 20, 2008
    • Dear Bfly: thank you for your compliment.  It is sort of late and my brain is partially functional, let me know if this work?:

      I am a fabulous woman so I join Fabulous40 & beyond dot com.
      I am here to share all kind of experience till my eyes cannot be opened and excuse me, I yawn.

      I value others opinions and comments
      as well as express my view points
      There may be disagreement and indifference
      I learn to be calm,
      not to win an argument, rather grow and learn.

      I also promise to wear my grannies’ panties
      to speak with all my sisters, family of Fab40.



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