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What do you call a woman who has a man in her life but does not get to sleep with him?

What do you call a woman who’s man keeps a roof over her head, but she never has the priveledge of going to public events with him?

What do you call a woman who only gets the crumbs of her man’s time and attention,  but yet is not free to find another?

I used to call a woman like that a mistress.

Now I call her me, and I’m supposedly a wife to this man, so why am I living like this?

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mzd3 wrote May 16, 2010
    • Why is he like this? Has it always been this way?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote May 16, 2010
    • No, he hasn’t always been like this.  He suffers from chronic pain.  I try to be understanding and keep Tracy’s “spoons” analogy in mind, but sometimes I just want to scream and yell and stomp my foot and say “What about ME?????”  When is there time or energy for me????  When do I get a turn at having him???

      Sorry, this is probably mostly hormones talking (it’s that time of the month and I’m exhausted besides), but I just needed to vent.

      Tulip



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lazylola wrote May 16, 2010
    • Tulip, I am so sorry you are going through this, as someone that lives with chronic pain I can tell you that I am glad that I am going at it alone. I could not put anyone through “ME” when I am at my worst, not there has been anyone that can take me at my worst. From my own experience his pain may simply be to overwhelming, we end up lashing out at the ones that love us, making us at times not too loveable. Vent away.heart



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote May 16, 2010
    • Thanks ladies, it helps just being able to get it out.

      Ruby, you are right about the pain being overwhelming.  I know his is.  And, he is a person that wants to be left totally alone when he’s having a really bad day.

      I have lots of ME time on my hands because there is never any US time.  He doesn’t want me bugging him.  So I get invovled in stuff and I’m gone sometimes two evenings a week to meetings and things.  And people forget that I have a husband and they figure I’ve got time on my hands, so they ask me to be on more committees and I say yes because anything is better than being ignored at home.

      And I know he loves me, but that’s really hard to remember when a whole Sunday goes by and he doesn’t say a word to me except in answer to a question I might ask.

      Tulip



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote May 16, 2010
    • Well TL my heart and prayers are with you



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mzd3 wrote May 16, 2010
    • my hubz isnt in any pain, but can be the same way...



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lazylola wrote May 16, 2010
    • Tulip, I know how lonely that can be, I was in a 10 year relationship that for the most part was that way, only speaking to me if he needed/wanted something and other than that we just didn’t have anything else. I ended up doing what you did, work extra shifts, took on 2nd and third jobs just to be away from the feeling of loneliness. It’s hard...and it does help being able to vent and get it out. {{HUGS}}



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      J J wrote May 16, 2010
    • I just post a story called, A Man Without The Past. Well, I think that man, can be also a woman too.  

      Take control ourselves, and learn to detach from the pain, that actually are created by ourselves. Why should we ever want us to suffer, if only when we learn to really love ourselves. No one will be there first in line to love us and to wape out our tears. ONLY by ourselves.

      Love yourself more, life is not fixed, but new everyday!

      Love,

      Jennifer



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tina Sickinger wrote May 17, 2010
    • My heart breaks for you sweetie. Being a sufferer myself, I feel guilty for what my hubby has to go through and I think I sometimes ‘overcompensate’ by paying attention to him and his needs when I should be taking care of my own. I do love him and have never been one to accept help. It’s hard on both sides as I’ve been a caregiver too. Do what you have to do for you first and foremost.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote May 17, 2010
    • Thanks for the understanding. heart  You ladies are the best!

      I’m in a better place this morning, thank goodness.  

      Monica, yes he sees a pain specialist.  He’d on a lot of pain meds (honestly I don’t know how he manages to get thru a work day with the meds he’s on).  He’s been on and off of anti-depressants.  Mostly they do nothing for him.

      Tina, I know like you, he has guilt about what he puts me thru and he has no idea how to deal with the guilt.  

      Well, as I put on my FB profile this morning, “It’s time to put on a smile and pretend things are fine and dandy...”   Seems to be the only philosiphy that works for me.  Cripes, how do you spell philosophy????? Nothing looks right.

      Tulip



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Ladiesofwhitelinen wrote May 7, 2013
    • Life is too short to stress yourself
      with people who don’t even deserve
      to be an issue in your life!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Ladiesofwhitelinen wrote May 7, 2013
    • A real woman will always try to avoid drama,
      because she knows her time is precious and
      she simply doesn’t want to waste it on things
      that are not important in her life.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Ladiesofwhitelinen wrote May 7, 2013
    • There will come a time in your life when you just need to walk
      away from all the drama and the people who bring it into your life.

      You will surround yourself with people who make you smile,
      care about you and make you feel like you belong.

      Love the people who care for you and say a prayer for those
      in life who used you.

      Life is far too short to be unhappy so make the changes
      you need to make your life a happy one.



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