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Bloody hell.  (I always wanted to write that in something.  Now I have.  One more thing to check off my list.)

I think I just had my first hot flash.  I didn't know what it was.  My face got hot all of a sudden like I was getting an instant sunburn and I looked around and realized the sun was hitting me directly on the face, so I moved away.  Short version is, Godfry is home with an upset stomach, looked at my face and he said, "yeah, you're all red in the face" so next stop www.webmd.com where I'm sure it will say this is not a hot flash since those hit your whole body, right?  How can it be isolated to one spot on the body and why, seriously, why would that have to be the face?  So women can announce to the world that exact moment we're having the flash?  (Hey.  I like that.  "The Flash."  I think I'll go with that from now on.)

Ah.  Webmd evidently sucks since it actually says the flash does hit you in the face and neck.  They're clearly wrong since I've seen women in the dead of winter standing outside with a tank top on sipping their coffee or tea and I knew they were having the flash since it does (tell me it does) hit your whole body, right?  Right?

This certainly throws a whole new twist into this bloody mid-life crisis bit.  (Oh.  Unintended pun there.  It can't very well be a "bloody mid-life crisis", can it, if there's–eventually–no blood.  Ha ha.)  Let me go through the check list.

Am I cranky these days?  (Someone should ask, "do you mean more than normal?" to which I my reply would be to fly off the handle and beat the crap out of them, thus proving my point that, yes, I might be a bit crankier these days.)

Am I having any difficulty sleeping?  No.

What else could my symptoms be?  Maybe it's time to talk to a doctor.

Well then, how might this change my whole mid-life crisis process?  I don't think it does.  My physiological changes, as of now, aren't affecting my decision-making capabilities or analytical abilities and there are no violins playing in the background pulling at emotional strings making me do strange things, so I think I'm OK.

Of course, this could all be some giant mistake and I just got a spider bite on my neck or something when I came in with a load of wood for the wood stove.  There certainly were spiders on the wood I brought in yesterday and one day last week.

And, after all this, that whole maybe-there's-something-funny-in-this-after-all thing I was going through yesterday, or was it the day before......be careful what you wish for, right?  Some how I find this all very amusing.  I probably won't if this really is the beginning of future flashes coming on at, for me, I'm sure will be the most inopportune times, but some how, I'm totally OK with this.  Hmmm.  Maybe it is affecting my ability to analyze the situation accurately?  Should I, or shouldn't I, rather, be freaking out about this?  Evidently not.

Bring 'em on, baby.



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Amy L. Harden wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • Welcome to the Hot Flash Club!

        

      Whether you like it or not...this is the beginning of the rest of your life and it will be ushered in on a heat wave...it’s too bad it couldn’t happen on the beaches of Maui or the Bahamas...reality decided to have it happen across the landscape of your face, neck and body...OH, JOY!!!  Isn’t middle-age an adventure?!!! NOT!  

      Prepare yourself to coordinate your wardrobe with your coloring from now on...RED is going to be your enemy for the near term!  Make sure you don’t wear all red, because when you have a hot flash your clothes and skin will blend together...you’ll look like a hot red chili pepper and I don’t mean you will look like a member of the band with the same name...Oh...you’ll look hot, but not sexy...*hot* ...you’ll be burning red hot all over...and there will be nothing chilly about you...your new nickname will be Pepper.  

      Don’t worry though you’ll learn how to do the newest mid-life dance craze...The Hot Flash...it is a striptease of sorts...there is nothing sexy about it...when you are finished you are dripping with sweat, standing naked in front of a fan and God help the man that wants to touch you after your performance! Your response to this will be: “You‘re kidding me...Right?!”

      Your newest friend, who is replacing your old “friend”  is full of as many surprises...but this time you will discover places that you never knew could sweat...new places that have aches and pains...but here is the bonus...you won’t remember why...it’s kind of like when you gave birth...all the pain of labor...you cursed your husband for putting there..but then afterward you don’t remember any of it...so stupid you...you do again...then you remember...you curse your husband...then forget again.  Oh...yeah...you start to ramble...a lot...because you can’t remember your point.  Yes, it affects your brain...the few brain cells you have left.

      And the grand prize for entering into the Hot Flash Era is (_drum roll, please!_ )  You will never have to worry about wearing white pants ever again!  

      Welcome...to mid-life...embrace the “hot“...and don’t sweat the small stuff...it will be over in a flash!

      For your amusment:



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenni0811 wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • I am 50 and officially Post-Menopausal for 6 months now. What a relief it is truly liberating. No more muss, fuss or fuzzy mind! I went through this early and luckily I did not have much in the way of symptoms. I should have done it 20 years earlier! Ha! Anyway....good luck with what comes your way. They say the peri-menopausal stage can last up to a decade long (that's where you experience all the symptoms). I have a friend who at 57 is still peri-menopausal! I can be your resource on what lies ahead ask me anything!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Desi~lu wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • You all are funny, although probably not near as funny if I was experiencing any of “The Flash” symptoms.  I’m sure, I as well will go through this nonsense at some point.  Do I look forward to it?  Hell NO!  But hey, how will I know anyway, cause I had a partial hysterectomy and bladder lift (By the way how do I look?) two years ago and have been so happy to not be going through the time of the month thing anymore.  And shoot I was so deserving of that since I started menstral cycles before I stopped playing with baby dolls.  LOL



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Stellababette wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • Thank you, thank you.  (I’m taking a bow.)  I’m proud to join the club of hot flashes and (remind me I said this several months or years from now) am ready to take on whatever comes.

      Right now this is all very amusing.  I figure if I can cling to the humor in this, then that’s a good sign.  Good grief.  Be careful what you wish for, indeed!!

      Stella



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Yana Berlin wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • And most importantly don’t forget what Bev says:

      repeat after her:

      “I’m still hot....it just comes in flashes now!“.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • Just a reminder, hot flash applies to Smeegle Club
      don’t let the cartoon fool you, think that it only
      applies to the Bomb Bomb Club.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Janice Young wrote Nov 19, 2008
    • I’m still laughing. I’m not officially there yet, but starting to get some signs.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Amy L. Harden wrote Nov 21, 2008
    • As I read through this thread again and saw all the reactions...I believe we all agree that this story IS disturbing...upsetting at best...but then all of a sudden the thought of this women’s brother’s wife crossed my mind...she is an innocent in all of this...she knows nothing of this relationship AND she has married in to it!  My upset suddenly turned to complete compassion for the one person in this that is most innocent in it..._the wife_.  This poor woman has every reason to be suspicious of her sister-in-law...what kind of legacy is this to pass on to your children?  Imagine questioning your own sister-in-laws intentions every time you were with her and your husband was present. Intense therapy is in order here...if not for the sake of the wife and the family that this brother may potentially have in the future.  

       I dated a guy in college who’s relationship with his sister was far too intense for me...it was downright creepy the way she was around him...jealous, possessive, touching him in ways that were more like a girlfriend vice a sibling.  She hated me and did everything she could to break us up AND this was her pattern...she had always hated every girlfriend he had....Hmmmmm....I knew something was wrong ...maybe just maybe it was the same thing. EW!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Nov 21, 2008
    • I've had one full body hot flash "wave" It happened some time ago actually & it was unmistakable. I freaked out a little...lol I called my Grandmother when it happenedit happened to be 5 30 a.m. She said "come over. We'll drink tea." And we did.
      No signs again since...but, they're on their way I'm sure so I suppose paying attention to exercise & diet's crucial as well as stress levels. I'm also adopted so I have nooo idea what is hereditary in the meno dept! :) So far, so good.
      Stella~ your “bloody hell” story had me crackin up!
      Can you imagine what the world would be like if MEN had to go through these things!? ha ha ha
      Have a great day! Stay cool!! ;)



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise LePard Elhalawany wrote Nov 21, 2008
    • Very, very funny!   I’m officially there - for the last 6 months and prefer to call them “power surges.”  Wait until the hot flashes start at your toes and move slowly up your body - I swear sometimes steam comes out of my ears!

      When my girls see me with my head in the freezer they now just say, “mom, another hot flash.”  

      Cranky?  Dear God I could take on the insurgents in Iraq single-handedly!

      Then it passes and you start getting cold ... and you wonder why you‘re standing in your house in shorts and a cami, the thermostat says 60 degrees and your children are wearing winter coats and sitting in front of the fire place and your husband has his bathroom wrapped around him tighter than a newborn baby and is looking at you like he’s about to sign the order to have you committed.

      This too, shall pass ... until the next one.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Nov 21, 2008
    • Wow~ I’m laughing my *** off over here. I definitely know where to turn when the power surges come MY way!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise LePard Elhalawany wrote Nov 21, 2008
    • I have an entire list of remedies from those who have come before me and lived through the power surges, but most of the remedies consist of drinking oneself silly!!!  I, of course, add insult to hot flash, am allergic to alcohol :(
      So, there is no hope for me!



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