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Today as I sit here I am pondering my life. There are things that I have desided to share. I choose to share not for sympathy. I am sharing so some one might understand me a little bit better.
I am starting at a young age.
When I was born my mother did not want children. For the first 3 years of my life I was raised by my fathers mother.
Once I came home I never felt like I fit in. I always pushed the limits. Now I know I was testing my mother trying to feel out how much she loved me.
When I was 12 years old my mother’s brother sexually assaulted me. This went on for some time. In the end I told my grandmother who raised me. The family at that point decided not to tell my father what had happened.( in fear he would kill him) My uncle did receive some therapy but I still can’t forgive him!
When I was 17 years old I got myself into a situation that was very unhealthy. My so called boyfriend at the time abused me physically, mentally and sexually.
When I was 18 I met my husband! He is a very tender loving man. He has helped me grow strong. I love him heart and soul!
About 7 years ago we found out I was a diabetic. Also that I have stage 4 liver disease.
Now my wonderful hubby is going through hard times. He started drinking about 5 years ago. It has now become a major problem. He is able to keep up at work but is shutting down more and more. I have asked him to get help, he is not interested. I am now getting that feeling in the pit of my stomache. That old familiar ache that says I am about to be hurt!
The man I have gained strenghth from now needs me to be strong for him!
I know I ramble but I needed to say all this so I could see where I have come from And what I have servived.
When you read this all I ask is that you send a prayer up for Stan! He is a good man who terribly scared right now!



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Rystmom wrote Feb 20, 2009
    • Thank you



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Feb 20, 2009
    • Dear, thank you for sharing.  It takes a braveheart to be opened.  Thank you for your trust in us.

      You take good care of yourself first.  I know it is easy to say than done.  I am in a similar boat.  I am a little sick for now and yet I am the CAREGIVER to all.  I have a mad house and a hospital ward over here with no MD, Nurses or Therapist on board.  

      One day, one min, one second at a time.  I am all ears - even though I may be loopy for the time being.  

      FYI, there is a mental health group or other private groups here that may fit your needs, esp. you like to further open up.  This is a great start.

      I cheer for you!!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Wittymom wrote Feb 20, 2009
    • Rystmom, how strong you are! Probably not what you want to hear right now, but I had to read your story twice and all that kept playing in my head was “what strenghth she has“.  Use that strenght again dear friend, but know that you’ve got some support on this end when all you need to do is vent.....and when we are offline...remember...."God whispers in our pleasures, but shouts in our pain." I will surely pray for God to shout through Stan’s pain, and yours.

      ((((((((Hugs))))))))



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      3sa wrote Feb 20, 2009


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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Rystmom wrote Feb 20, 2009
    • Thank you my dear friends! My shoulders feel lighter after opening up to all of you!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Almostfive0 wrote Feb 20, 2009
    • rystmom...Make sure to take care of yourself as well as Stan.
      Try not to let it overwhelm you and know that you are not alone.

      I am sending positive healing energy to you and Stan. The Universe is working on your behalf.
      All is well.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cmrobert wrote Feb 20, 2009
    • I too have felt the sting of alcoholism.  Not only is it sickening but it’s also scary.  Continue to be strong and use what you’ve learned thus far to help you through this valley.  My favorite scripture is Psalm 46:10 which simply says:  Be Still and know that I am God.
      When your heart starts to beat fast or your thinking about your situation won’t leave your head just Be Still - I promise you He’s got this on your behalf.  I have lifted you and yours in prayer and am counting it done.

      Cheryl~



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Rystmom wrote Feb 20, 2009
    • CM thankyou I have written your words and placed them on my monitor. I now have a reminder to allow God to be in control!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Feb 20, 2009
    • I am sending up prayers for You and for Stan.......



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Karyn Olson wrote Feb 20, 2009
    • Baby steps and one day at a time...works for me...and with all the support you have here is an added bonus...will be saying prayers for both you and Stan...sending hugs



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