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heartbreak  

     I met a great guy online on Halloween last year from CT. We joked around on the phone all day, and he even kidded around about marrying me. We met for a couple of months on the weekend in PA, and shared great times together. After a few months he decided that he wanted to be closer to me, so he moved here in OH to be with me. He works from home and could move here, he signed a lease for a year.  

     After a couple of months of me moving in, I notice he was always texting on his cell phone. When I questioned him about it, he claimed he had female friends that he didnt mention before. I told him that I was not comfortable with him doing that, because he did it all times even late at night. He said it was his phone, he was keeping his friends and he didnt care what I said. I eventaully found out that that website that we met on, he never deleted his profile.  

    I have moved out five times since he has been here, I keep trying to make it work and taking him back. We were suppose to get married, we were supposed to have a children. I trusted him. I am still madly in love with him and I cant let him go. frown

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Member Comments

    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Nov 11, 2010
    • Oh, I’d be careful and really protect your heart. This doesn’t sound very good to me. There’s a sense of dishonesty and lack of commitment on his part. Not that it will never come to be but I’d tread lightly until you know for sure.



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Nov 11, 2010
    • Girlfriend in a word or maybe two: (((("MALE WHORE")))) he had no intentions of giving all those false promises because he is a player at heart. He has told you ((((LOUD and CLEAR)))) he is NOT giving up his female friends so what does that really say about how he feels about YOU!!!! Honey pack your sh**! and move on, he is never going to be true to you and besides the chase with you is over he got you and now he is moving on to new prey frownsorry but the truth will set you free. MOVE ON!!!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Hottcoco wrote Nov 11, 2010
    • Thanks Cynthia and Denise



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Nov 11, 2010
    • heartKeep your head up sis you deserve so much better!



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Cheekymonkey wrote Nov 11, 2010
    • heartbreak Your not crazy your in love which sometimes seems the same. Im in total agreement with Cynthia and Neicy. RUN protect your heart. Ur better than this and him. I didnt listen when I was told about my player ex husband and it cost me dearly. He was cheating 2 weeks afte we were married and the woman was at our wedding.
      Honey, it will only get so much worse. Its harder to heal later than sooner please please let him go now hes not worth the gum on the bottom of ur shoe was what my grandmother use to tell me about my ex so im passing that on to u.
      Hugs



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Linda Joyner wrote Nov 11, 2010
    • I WAS IN LOVE WITH A GUY, THAT WAS JUST LIKE THAT YEARS AGO...
      I SPENT ALMOST 7 YRS OF MY LIFE TRYING TO MAKE IT WORK// CRYING - FUSSING- LEAVING- AND HIM MAKING PROMISES THAT NEVER HAPPENED,... I FINALLY STARTED DOING THE SAME THING HE DID, AND I FELL OUTTA LOVE WITH HIM AND IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER GUY THAT WAS WAY BETTER TO ME IN THE LONG RUN....
      THOSE TYPES ARE NOT FAITHFUL TO THEMSELVES, SO I KNOW THEY WILL NEVER BE FAITHFUL TO YOU... I FOUND OUT LATER THAT ONE OF THE GIRLS HE WAS TALKING TO BEHIND MY BACK, WAS THE ONE THAT HE WOUND UP WITH...
      HE IS STILL AFTER 11YRS LATER... STILL DOING THE SAME THING TO HER...estaticestaticestaticestatic
      HUGS LJ



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Hottcoco wrote Nov 11, 2010
    • OMG, oh wowww! Thanks Linda, u2 Cheekymonkey!!



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Nov 11, 2010
    • You are not the crazy one... he is!!
      You are beautiful and deserve a man so much better than this guy.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Hottcoco wrote Nov 11, 2010
    • Aww Thanks Mztracy. Its been hard to tell if its me. Ive been beating myself up pretty bad about this and Im tired of crying. Its hard to let go.



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Cheekymonkey wrote Nov 11, 2010
    • When it gets hard look at yourself in the mirror and say IM better than this. I deserve better.
      Then do something nice for yourself. A candle light bubble bath (with music and wine) a girls night out or in with great friends. Maybe a spa treatment or just maybe window shopping but having the best desert after.
      Something you will enjoy. Fill ur life with treasures and u will find urs.
      I did
      Hugsheart



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Hottcoco wrote Nov 11, 2010
    • @Cheekeymonkey- Its funny you say that cause his bday is the 15th and my bff told me take that money and spend it on me. I was still going to take him out to dinner.



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Anne E wrote Nov 11, 2010
    • Coco, you are beautiful and will find a man who will be a partner rather than a liar/player.  Do not take him out to dinner; spend the money on you.  Rent some good crying movies, get some popcorn and your favorite robe and let yourself have a good cry.  Imagine what your life would be like with this person and see if that is what you really want.  When I separated from my ex-husband, it nearly killed me that none of my choices were the one that I wanted-for him to grow up, get a job, and take care of his family.  None of your choices are the one that you want- for him to be the kind, honest, loving man that you thought he was when you fell in love with him.  So sorry that you have to go through this.heartbreak  You  are not crazy! heart



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Hottcoco wrote Nov 12, 2010
    • @Anne- Thanks so much for the comment. I moved out a couple weeks ago and was going back and forth. Now he’s even stopped texting me, he never calls. And I haven’t texted him since this past Wenesday. Im taking it one day at a time. Its so hard, Im really in love with him. heartbreakfrown



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Nov 12, 2010
    • Hi Hottcoco, a few more weeks and that being “in Love” feeling will cool off. You’ll see how dishonest he was in “presenting” himself to you, and that is not a reflection on who you are. Some men are just flat out salesmen with lots of talk and no action to back up their sales pitch. Please believe you’ll be Ok and he doesn’t deserve you.  

      Cathie



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Hottcoco wrote Nov 12, 2010
    • @Cathie- Thank u



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Nov 12, 2010
    • Coco,

      Run.  

      Cut ties with him and don’t look back. The statement, ‘I dont care what you say’ is reason enough, let alone the text situation.  

      I only say this to you because I’ve been in similar shoes with a text addict. Long story short, texting in that fashion led me to find out all kinds of things I didn’t like finding out about including websites.  

      It will take awhile to get over him. And the road isn’t going to be pain-free. HOWEVER, you owe it to yourself to dump him on his ass before he does it to you so you can have a happy life, self respect and someone who DOES deserve you. There’s nothing worse then knowing things like that, that your supposed-to-be life partner is doing and being in the same room or bed with him. He does NOT deserve you girl! Run. Change your phone number.

      There’s someone in the world waiting for a happy life with you that will respect you and treat you the way you should be treated. happy But he cant find you till you kick the textboy to the curb.

      Tell him and his phone n website to have fun with that because you‘re outta there. Or even better, throw a little psychological warfare on him and just disappear without a word. He’ll go crazy.  

      Take care of you  

      Nevermind him. Guys like that know exactly what they are doing. Another thing to consider is how dangerous it can be to your own health by not leaving him.

      Hugs!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Hottcoco wrote Nov 12, 2010
    • @Jenz- Wow, Im laughing about you calling him “Textboy“. I think that will be his new name. I have sort of disappeared. I havenet called or text him since Wenesday morning but his bday is on the 15th. Its so hard for me to be mean to this man, he has me capitvated. I know im not taking him out but should I even call to say Happy Birthday? Im love sick and I wish I wasnt, God knows he doesnt deserve me.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Angell VillafaƱe wrote Nov 12, 2010
    • Hottcoco listen to the ladies...they are right...but I’m one to talk because I am in the same boat as you. I saw your comment on my blog and yes, we need to pack our bags and take a vacation girl...away from these men that do us no good! Love is a crazy emotion...crazy! And you are not crazy...and neither am I! It is these men that make us think that about ourselves. We are loving, caring women who just want the same in return and it hurts when we get anything but that. But we deserve better...much better. It’s easy to walk away but it’s the staying away that is so difficult...that is what I am fighting with right now. Just keep telling yourself you deserve better because you do. If these men see any sign of weakness in us then that is what  they prey on. So let’s pray for each other’s strength and if you need to talk then message me. Good luck girl...stay strong! happy



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Nov 12, 2010
    • Love sickness DOES pass .

       And I congratulate you for being strong enough to stay away since Wednesday. Forty Eight hrs can seem like forty eight months when youre in a situation like that.
      As for the 15th, make plans with your best friends and dont cancel them.  

      Question- what has his reaction been to you not contacting him?

      We understand clearly that you love this guy. You suffering will not make him see anything though. Ask yourself what exactly has you captivated, for real. Take some time for yourself to really think this over and sort things out. You definitely should not be in turmoil every day. I’ll check back in a lil bit.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Nov 12, 2010
    • It is sooooooooooo NOT You!!!

      He needs to check himself...at the curb preferably!! tongue out

      Go out, dress up and hang with some good friends. Have fun and move on. When you least expect REAL love... it will happen!!

      He is a douchebag!!! lol



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Nov 12, 2010
    • Right on Tracy!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mindy Wilson wrote Nov 14, 2010
    • You need to value yourself and take care of you! No reason to share your beautiful self with someone no worthy! I agree with Cynthia and MZ Tracy. I think I would just walk away!

      Mindy Wilson



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Blackblonde7 wrote Nov 14, 2010
    • I carefully read everything in ur blog post, and here’s my opinion: LET HIM GO! I understand u love him & u guys have made plans 4 the future 2gether as 1, BUT, u love him more than he loves u, and that will NEVER work out. I was told a very long time ago, Rule #1: when 2 ppl jump into bed, 1 ALWAYS gets out the bed w/ feelings & Rule # 2: Never love a man more than he loves you. You have separated 5 times, he doesn't want 2 delete his profile, or stop texting chic's late at ngt, that right 3 tells a lot. This is suppose to still be the honey mood period, where everything is lovely, and drama free, and you're going thru all of this turmoil already? U love him there's no question about that, but where is his love for you? Ok he made the move, but what else? Once u told him u had an issue w/ him texting chic's all the time including late ngt. action, the next words out of his mouth should have been, I'm sorry I get ur not comfortable w/ this, what can I do to make u feel ok? Instead his reply was, I'm keeping my phone, my chic friends AND I don't care what u think, really? I say walk away doll for good this time. U have already ready set the tone that he do can whatever he wants like a single dude, u may be mad 4 a while, but he knows you'll take him back eventually. Love is being able to compromise, and he's not willing to do that. I'm glad u found this out b4 u had a baby by him or said I do, because if it's this shady & shaky now, girl it will only get worse. Time will heal ur broken heart- If u ever want 2 chat, hit me up.happy



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Nov 14, 2010
    • Hottcoco, listen to this lady! Blackblond knows what she is talking about! That is how it goes down when right off the bat you don’t get a compromise from him and he doesn’t care how you feel about being placed last on his list of priorities.  

      I was married to a man that I waited for 17 1/2 years to be put at the top of his priority list and it never happened. Now I’m 61 years old, stuck in a divorce he controls.  

      Listen to your sister talking to you straight from her heart. Wish she’d been around for me 17 1/2 years ago!  

      Cathie



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