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After a painfully slow agonizing week, Tuesday night finally arrived!  I couldn’t wait for the 2 hour show.

Unfortunately, American Idol is victim to programming restrictions and has now been cruelly reduced to 1 hour with only 2 judges giving critiques to each performer.   This made me feel robbed.  Can’t imagine the contestants didn’t feel the same way.

And American Idol turned quirky real quick when the guest celebrity was none other than Quentin Tarantino.  

(Quentin Tarentino:  Wannabe peacenik)

Quentin Tarantino...Huh?  My husband had recently forced me to watch Death Proof and I've been suffering PTSD ever since.  I felt anxious immediately, but was soon distracted by the talented final 7 contestants.

The familiar judges were of course on hand:

Randy "the dawg" Jackson:  Randy apparently borrowed a sweater from Anoop (who suddenly reminds me of Eddie Haskiill).

Cara:  Still can't put my finger on it.  I like her, but there's something I don't like about her.  Something plasticky.  She's a bit of a pleaser, a copycatter of other judge's comments.   Then she gets all rebellious and randomly rips apart a contestant that doesn't deserve it.  What is it about her?  Mannequiny.  Yeah that's it.  Definitely mannequiny.

Paula:  You gotta love Paula and her ever-present Chardonnay/Percocet eyes.  She may be loaded but she's got a heart full of light and love.

Simon:  Now you know I love Simon.  Simon is perfect.

Ryan (who can’t keep his huge crush on Adam a secret) kept saying that it was a "historic evening".  Why was it historic?  Maybe something to do with Quentin Tarantino and his high-heeled sneakers.  I've never seen sneakers like that.  Adam had sneakers on too.  Yup, historic.



(Pebbles all dressed up and disguised as Allison)  

(Allison/Pebbles, sans makeup and wardrobe, before her feast of peaches and a bubble bath after a long night of competing.)

Allison:  Allison is PEBBLES!  I don’t know how I missed this.  And Pebbles, I mean, Allison has one amazing voice.  She belted it.  What was really amazing was that her red hair that we all hated last week was EVEN REDDER.  And her EVEN REDDER hair really clashed with her REALLY RED belt.  Good thing it's a contest about lungs and not hair.  


(Anoop...frat boy turned wannabe wannabe)  


(Anoop wannabe...recently seen in some low budget movie)

Anoop:  Quentin tried hard to give Anoop a pep talk.  He got so emotional I was expecting to see blood, guts and flying limbs everywhere.  Anoop, who didn’t listen to a word Quentin said,  showed up with an outfit right out of Disney's High School Musical.  Poor Anoop, he reminds me of the character in Broadcast News who never learned the meaning of "don't sweat it".  Give the guy a hankie!  OK fine, he does have a good voice.  It must be me.  He sang, "Ill Do It For You".  He didn't.


(Adam Lambert...The King)


(Elvis:  Posthumous Wannabe Adam Lambert)  

Adam:   Perfect Adam sang the perfect Born to Be Wild perfectly.  Great stage presence and his voice was, and I'm quoting perfect Simon here, “Incredible!".  I want Adam in my family.  I must find a way to get Adam in my family.   My 2 sons are stubbornly refusing to come out of the closet while consistently insisting they are heterosexual.  They're in such denial.  Ex-heterosexual therapy is in their near future.

(Matt Girard:  Wannabe Justin Timberlake)


(Justin Timberlake:  Claims to not know Matt, never has heard of Matt, so over Matt)  

Matt:  I love Matt and it was good to see Matt back at the piano.  But, oh, ouch, it just wasn't working.  And those high notes in the end...a failed attempt to sound like Adam.  Matt didn't work it tonight and this late in the game, you just can't get away with that. The Matt Mole Man is in trouble.

(Oh Danny Boy...Oh Danny Boy)

(Robert Downey Jr...another Danny Wannabe)

Danny:  Okay, how do I say this without sounding like a heartless human?  Danny has a great voice and a dynamic stage presence, but I just couldn't get into his song.  What really stood out for me with Danny's song was the presence of his wedding ring.  Is my memory fading...I don't remember that ring last week.  Obviously he was singing to his wife who recently passed away.  I feel for Danny I do.  But the harp and looking up at the heavens at the end of the song?  Oh Danny boy, Oh Danny boy, I love you just don't do "cheesy" well.  No sympathy votes needed.  You had me at your first note.  Repeat after me, "I'm good enough.  I'm talented enough, and gosh darn it, people like me!"  


(Kris Allen:  Cutchey Cutchey Coo!)

(Linus:  Kris’s identical twin)  

Kris: Love your voice but why did that song remind me of a Christmas Carol?  Something about Kris makes me want to start nursing again. He reminded me of Linus and I was wondering where the security blanket was.  Oh no, he tried one of those high falsetto notes at the end...another Adam wannabe gone bad.  Kris, even the 13-year olds might have been cringing.  But I do still want to squeeze your cheeks.  Don’t worry. You‘re not going anywhere.  Too many of us would suffer separation anxiety.


 (Lil Round...wannabe Whitney)


(Whitney:  We just wannahertobe sober.)  

Lil Round:  Another hot sassy sexy look for Lil, the young mom with the big voice.  She sang The Rose.  I'm so sick of The Rose, I'm tired of The Rose, I wish The Rose would lose its bloom.  Unfortunately, Lil's rendition wilted before our eyes.  Don’t get me wrong.  Lil has a great voice!  She just needs to act her age which is 24, not 42.  I do think the judges want to get rid of her and I don't know why.  She gets points for standing up for herself in an assertive "I am woman...hear me roar" way.

My predictions:

Bottom 3:  Anoop, Lil and Matt

Who will be voted off:  Lil Round  

Top 3:  Perfect Adam, Allison and Danny

Kris is lost in the middle, still looking for his blankie.

OK, your turn.   Who did you love?  Who did you hate?  Should we start a Fabulously Forty Adam Lambert fan club?


Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cindylouwho1966 wrote Apr 15, 2009
    • Adam was great except for skipping onto the stage to start the song. John Kay of Steppenwolf is looking for him to whoop some azz. (too funny to force your sons into homosexuality for your own sick needs!estaticestaticestatic)

      Danny, I was in the other room during, and I did not realize it was him. I thought it was Chris, and thought, “God, this sucks!”  

      I want a ban on Bryan Adams songs from now on.

      The girl at my prom did a better version of “The Rose” than Lil, and the song was much fresher in ‘84.

            Report  Reply

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Purpleplum44 wrote Apr 15, 2009
    • i love adam and want to have his babies.  whether he wants them or not.  we should have an adam fan club.  i cant believe there isnt one already.  the only other contestant that even comes close wait.. there is no one.  he’s the best there is by a mile  there is no longer a contest.  the others are good and could easily have successful singing careers, but adam is the stuff of greatness.  he is the king, elvis wants to be adam. love and peace : )

            Report  Reply

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Apr 16, 2009
    • I love all your comments..... I think Lil and Matt will be seeing their last week on Idol coming up.

      BTW don’t you think Danny resembles Robert Downey Jr?

            Report  Reply

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Andrea Pascale wrote Apr 16, 2009
    • I’m all for an Adam Lambert fan club...I don’t know what it is about that kid, but he gives me goosebumps everytime I hear him sing!  It’s EFFORTLESS for him, I swear!  I don’t dislike any of the others, but he blows them all away!  There is no comparison!  Count me in!

            Report  Reply

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Kelly-Williams, M.A. wrote Apr 16, 2009
    • Well now that you mention it Vikki, I sure do!  So much so, poor Buddy Holly got bumped and replaced (see the new picture above).  Danny and Robert Downey Jr. look like they have been separated at birth!

      worddecor:  I think Adam gives a lot of people the chills.  I downloaded his Mad World husband loves the song as much as I do...I think we’ve listened to it fifty times!

      purpleplum:  You are one hot woman with one hot sense of humor.

            Report  Reply

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Heathertk wrote Apr 20, 2009
    • How do I download Adam’s “Mad World” song? (I think I missed that episode)

      I’ve been Mad for Matt from episode one!

            Report  Reply

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Heathertk wrote Apr 20, 2009
    • How do I download Adam’s “Mad World” song? (I think I missed that episode)

      I’ve been Mad for Matt from episode one!

            Report  Reply

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Heathertk wrote Apr 20, 2009
    • How do I download Adam’s “Mad World” song? (I think I missed that episode)

      I’ve been Mad for Matt from episode one!

            Report  Reply

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Kelly-Williams, M.A. wrote Apr 20, 2009
    • heathertk...go to itunes and you get it through American Idol.  Or you can go to American Idol ( and find out how to download it.  I’ve listened to it a ridiculous amount of times.  Matt is great too.

            Report  Reply

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