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Do you have friends that you love to be with and share your life with? Do they make you feel good, are they supportive, compassionate,are they worthy?

What do I mean by worthy? I mean do these folks enhance your life? Do they bring joy and fun to you? Do you even know what the cost is to be their friend?

To be worthy, there should be no personal costs in my opinion. If you have to run interference all the time for them, and take care of their issues without ever reaping anything, then I believe the cost is too high. But then again, maybe you don’t think the cost IS too great. I always ask myself what people are bringing to the table.

There are people that you may just not be able to befriend. If your gut tells you that you are not happy being around them, but do it anyway, you are not being true to yourself.

Some people are toxic. This seems to put a darkness over your relationship and sometimes the only thing you can do is decide that the friendship is costing you too much and back away.

This is not a sign of weakness, in my book it is quite the opposite. Have friends that have earned the right to have a place in your life.



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Sep 21, 2008
    • Hey, Vicky, good posting going on with you today. Some good things to think about.

      I’ve let friends go in my life. Sometimes I’ve let them back in and quickly remember why I let them go in the first place. With all the good people in the world, there’s just no energy left for the caustic ones.

      Sometimes, though, I find people who I just can’t let go of completely because either they‘re there professionally or they‘re family members. I’ve learned to develop filters for them.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Michelle Bodycombe wrote Oct 8, 2008
    • Great post Vicky!  I agree.  I usually say I have neither the time nor energy for high maintainence friendships.  People like that enter my life and quickly fall away.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cassandra wrote Dec 21, 2008
    • So true we move and grow out of friendships that are not healthy for us . Keep the friends close that truly deserve you . Thanks
      Cheers~



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Dec 21, 2008
    • There’s a Chinese saying, in translation “If your road is different than mine, no need to say Hi“.  For me, that says it all.  Road here means total different direction or viewpoint.  I am a little slow today like the site. worried



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenni0811 wrote Dec 21, 2008
    • Another thought provoking question. I have known people who in my terms “have sucked the life right out of me” and left me exhausted mentally. I have known others who have made me feel like they are literally physically holding me down to the ground and won’t let me up. I tend to have a fight response kick in at times like these and the ensuing battle ends the relationship. I am not good at weeding these folks out at a point prior to me imploding! A known fault that I am trying to recognize earlier.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lisa Middlesworth wrote Dec 21, 2008
    • I have also let people just kind of slide away because of their toxic personality.
      I don’t want the kind of friend who has to have control of every little situation. Or has to feel as though they are authority in one way or another.
      Friendships should be smooth and fun. When you don’t have to work so hard to be friends it makes for such a better relationship.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Dec 21, 2008
    • This is an area, for me, I rather have a few less true friends, than a lot of friends.



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