It seems like there is always something to be angry about; whether it's a personal gripe or a global threat, it seems like it takes very little to set people off into an angry tirade.  And, it seems like a lot of people have anger issues.

What's everyone so angry about?

Did the liberation of our emotions really set us free, or simply chain us to a new negative behavior?  

Has the age of self-expression gone awry?  

I was born in 1960.  In the generation before mine, it seems like polite reserve and avoiding confrontation was the popular mode of conduct.  Nobody wanted or knew how to handle conflict, so it was avoided at all cost.

Thanks to the psychological revolution of my generation, we are now so assertive that we've forgotten our manners and often, our humanity, many times to the point of unkindness.  Not all self-assertion is necessary....I say this for myself, as well for others.

One of my beloved Unity teachers, Marilyn Roth, advised our class:  "Speak only what is useful, kind and necessary."  I was quieter for a long time after hearing this.  

When I shared this pearl of wisdom with my daughter yesterday, she suggested, "You should do that again, Mom."  Kids, ya gotta love 'em.

The pendulum

The birth of a new age is upon us.  Birth can be a violent passage and humanity is feeling the pressure of these contractions.

As in many transitions, the pendulum has to swing to both extremes before it can rest gently in the center.  Self-assertion and personal expression; polite reserve and conflict avoidance, can have a middle ground and even a common meeting ground.

In order for this to happen, however, anger must be dissolved.  We get nowhere good – personally or globally – when anger rules.

The Dalai Lama has this to say about anger:

"Anger energy is blind energy. Anger really destroys the part of the brain that judges right from wrong. In order to use human intelligence properly, our mind must be calm. Anger destroys your inner peace."  

Anger is an emotional quagmire for even the most evolved souls  

I read somewhere long ago that even spiritual masters struggle with anger; more so than with all the other emotions.  Dissolving anger is a quagmire for even the highest souls.  

Anger is misdirected creativity  

I'm not proud of it, but I've had my fair share of struggles with my temper.  Astrology taught me the 100-second rule for Fire energy:  astrology tells Fire energy to count to one hundred before acting on any impulsive feeling; as a Fiery person, I've upped that to 1000....some flames are harder to dowse than others.

Fire energy rules the anger response.  When we have a person with a couple of planets in a Fire sign, or strong positions of Fire energy in their natal chart, we know there are going to be anger issues.  

Astrology helped me understand that it's the Fire in my personality structure that rules this pattern; this isn't giving me an excuse not to change, but a reason to recognize and face the reality that this is one of my lessons as a human.

It's a lesson for many of us.  We find Fire in a lot of us because it's ready to be transmuted into the creative energy that anger substitutes until we're ready to handle the power.

Ultimately, this is good.  But, like a cake in the works, at first, it just looks like a gooey, yucky mess.

The astrology of anger  

My Fire is in my Leo (Fire) Moon (emotions and subconscious habit patterns); and, in my Jupiter (relationships) which is in Sagittarius (Fire).  Further away, Uranus sends some heat through Leo, but it's really the Jupiter in Sag and Moon in Leo energy that lights the fire.

We need fire.  It warms us and allows us to move freely.  As a yoga enthusiast, flexibility is much easier when it's hot – warm muscles stretch better.  Without heat, the planet inhabitants - us - would perish.

Anyone who's felt the charming warmth from our Fiery zodiacal siblings – Aries, Leo and Sag – or, has it in their natal chart – has experienced the cozy, welcoming radiance from Fire.  

Everything in moderation, right?  Anger isn't bad; it's just powerful, and paired with any other emotion it can turn wild in a flash, destroying everything within range.

Idealism: the double-edged sword

Fire signs are idealists and idealists see how big life can be, how things could be, how people ought to be, and their expectations are unrealistic; so much so, that when the reality of life crashes the party, Fire energy retreats, or protests, but they pull back their heart energy because their heart gets broken; and, then, they turn that sorrow in on themselves and implode within.  This implosion causes all sorts of havoc, ranging from personality struggles, health issues, social problems, relating conflicts, emotional instability, etc.

And, then, after a while, the Fire sign explodes – blaming, pointing the finger, raging back at life, "It wasn't supposed to happen like this!!"

Fire energies are the ones that "go postal."

Anger is not to be managed; it's to be avoided and ignored

So, how do we ignore and/or avoid anger?  How do we get past those raging feelings when they come over us, literally like a wildfire?

Anger management is not the solution, any more than the war on anything is going to be the solution.

Edgar Cayce says that anger alone causes more disease than any other unbalanced condition in the physical body.

Each of us has some creative activity that absorbs us - do that - it could be gardening, cooking, music, art, or writing - it doesn’t matter, just do it.  Energy never dies, but it can be transformed.  Channel your angry feelings into an activity that distracts you from the rage.

Sometimes in life, we simply have to grow up, accept reality, take a deep breath, exhale, build a bridge and get over it.  There's always going to be a reason to get angry, just as there's always going to be opportunities to love.  Free will bites, doesn't it?

No matter how you slice it, at times, life sucks.  It's easy to get hooked into negative feelings, and angry thoughts and notions about oneself and the world around us.  Anger is easy; peace requires maturity....again, I say this as much for myself as others.

And, when it comes right down to it, when I think about all of it – the whole of life and myself, and am completely honest, I wouldn't really change anything.  Even the struggle with being a tempest.

Some persistent voice keeps reminding me, much like I remind others, that "It's not happening to us; it's happening for us."  Believing this helps.  

No, it doesn't dissolve the anger.  But it gives me an instrument through which I can allow anger to be dissolved.  

Dissolving anger is a bit like calming the tantrum of a toddler - distraction helps a lot!  Find something else to look at; find something to laugh about.  We laugh to survive.

Exercise helps.  Proper nutrition helps.  Adequate rest helps.  Avoiding medications helps.  Meditation helps. Learning when to vent and when to walk away helps immeasurably.  Forgiveness helps.  It all helps.  It may not cure, but it helps.

It's never going to get any better

On several occasions over the years, I've had the opportunity to coach younger adults on various life situations.  Many times, at the end of our conversations, I will close with the following sage wisdom:

"It's never going to get any better," which is usually met with puzzled surprise.  It's true, I say.  When we're young, we think that someday we're going to figure everything out and everyone will live happily ever after.  But it's not true.  

Life sucks sometimes.  It's hard.  It's unbelievably sad.  And, sometimes, it's good.  It's simple and easy.  It's incredibly happy.

Either way, it's short.  Don't spend it mad, because then you'll be sorry and angry.

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Enjoy these quotes:

"All you really need to do is accept this moment fully. You are then at ease in the here and now and at ease with yourself." Eckhart Tolle  

"Our good nature and endearing qualities will not arouse the answers to our prayers. Rather it is our mischievous, dishonest attributes that provide the master keys to heaven. When we identify and work to transform our self-centered qualities and crooked characteristics, the key turns and the gates unlock. Blessings and good fortune are now free to rain down upon us." Yehuda Berg

"You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist." Indira Gandhi  

"There isn't any formula or method. You learn to love by loving - by paying attention and doing what one thereby discovers has to be done." Aldous Leonard Huxley

"When people are laughing, they're generally not killing each other." ~Alan Alda

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