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This is not a picture of my daughter’s bedroom but hers look just like it.  Ever since she was old enough to start cleaning up her own room I have had to stress about how messy it gets.  She will clean up the room spotless and within 10 hours it looks the same.  About 2 years ago I just gave up, and told her to keep her door closed.  Well I have had it again, I just can’t stand her mess!  The only thing not in her room is food because we do not allow them to eat in their rooms.  I told her this morning I want the room cleaned spotless and that I am once again sick of seeing her mess.

My sweetie hates it, because the rest of the house is spotless but when he sees that room he just says I’m too soft.  I don’t know what else to do...how in the heck can I make her keep her room clean?



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Jan 30, 2009
    • umm where did u get a pic of my dd’s room?? Is your gril’s name Shelby!!  

      I wish I had advice. I take things away, do not allow her to go to friends, no pc time. She’ll clean it so nice vacuum and everything, then BAM... I blink and it is all back to mess.

      My dd is 12 almost 13.
      Yet her twin is anal!! Her room is so clean you could eat off the floors!!

      My 15 yr old son even keeps his room clean!

      What to do!?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Jan 30, 2009
    • I would start by taking her favorite outfits away and telling her if she can’t keep her room clean she is not worthy of wearing nice things. You know we girls like to look nice lol. ; )



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lvn4me wrote Jan 30, 2009
    • My mother used to “collect” things from my room, if I left it like that.  Things disappeared daily, until I cleaned it.  She always told me that if I couldn’t keep all my nice things picked up, then she would find people who would appreciate them more than I did.  Of course they were all stashed in the garage or the attic, but I had to keep my room clean for quite a while before she began returning them to me, one thing at a time.  If you have the space to do this, then you could try it and see if it motivates her.  Start with the things that she loves the most.  She will notice them gone and then decide that its not worth being lazy!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      3sa wrote Jan 30, 2009
    • Wow glad to know I’m not alone.  

      Neicy she is very stubborn, if the only consequence is taking away something she’ll do without just not to clean her room..it amazes me, wish I could just whoop her butt like I would have received!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lvn4me wrote Jan 30, 2009
    • Mztracy, I have two opposites like that too!  Oldest was a pig and the youngest would line his match box cars up and you would swear he used a ruler to do it.  LOL



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Jan 30, 2009
    • 3sa we must have the same stubborn messy a$$ daughter!!! tongue out



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Jan 30, 2009
    • I’m not understand why some parents don’t discipline their kids but, I’d confine her to her room and make her sit amongst her messy room. maybe then she’ll get tired of looking at it and do something about it.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Jan 30, 2009
    • LOL Cmen, I’m saluting your dad lol. I never kept a dirty room, I had to share a room with three sisters we all had our own side of the room and everyone knew what side was mine because my bed was always made, and everything was in its place that belonged to me. My daughters are neat as well but it didn’t take much for me to get them that way they learned it by example.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Jan 30, 2009
    • neicy, i figure if this is the worse thing she does than i have done good!! lol estatic

      She is an honor stuent, helps take care of me and keeps everywhere else clean. She does her own laundry, and washes the dishes. She has been doing this since she was 10. So I figure, it is her room and she has to be the one it. It is not something I need to stress over. Right now it is spotless, as she wants a drum set! ohhhh

      Like I say, don’t sweat the small stuff!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cheryl Guy wrote Jan 30, 2009
    • Both of my boys leave their rooms a wreck. Especially my younger son. When he is told to clean it he does. My 15 year old’s room is not as messy buy it is like pulling teeth to get him to clean it! I have to threaten to take away his Xbox for him to do it.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Jan 30, 2009
    • And, two of my three are neat kids! tongue out



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Jan 30, 2009
    • lvn4me, your youngest sounds like me lol, and your oldest sounds like my hubby oh boy lol.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jean Walter wrote Jan 30, 2009
    • 3sa ~ I think our children learn by example and by already keeping a neat and clean home you have set the foundation!
      Although your daughter has not followed suit with her own room...YET... I think as she gets older she will realize the necessity of keeping her room clean!
      I just think at that age, kids usually don’t think about it as a priority!
      I use to put myself through hell demanding my daughter to keep her room clean! The only time she would follow through was when I threatened to take away some privileges!
      It wasn’t until she was a grown woman and had her own home to take care of that I realized she really was a neat freak! I was shocked...lol..
      I also have two sons that are like night and day... one is very organized and the other could care less! The twins at the age of 10, just do it as a chore and to earn allowance.

      Although I don’t spend every day keeping my house spotless, I do like organization and cleanliness!

      Your daughter will come around.. stop torturing yourself...close the door and walk away.. but I would keep in mind the next time she wants a little spending money or a new pair of jeans, that you answer, “Sure..is your room clean?” Maybe after a few times it will sink in...one can hope...LOL



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Coachmombabe wrote Jan 30, 2009
    • All my kids were slobs growing up. Two of them still are. Our daughter, who is now married, takes very good care of their little condo.

      My personal opinion is that kids have too much stuff. If they have a few things, it’s not hard to keep it decent even if it’s all out. Maybe packing her things away until she can manage just a few things. Otherwise, just keep the door shut. She’ll eventually move out!estatic



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lvn4me wrote Jan 30, 2009
    • Neicy,  they are complete opposites!  LOL  It drives me crazy!  I wish that some of the youngest would rub off on the oldest. But, some day, he may actually loose the nickname "pig pen".  Oh and the cloud around him.  winks



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      3sa wrote Jan 30, 2009
    • I used to believe that children learn by example.  I wonder now and starting not to believe it anymore.  

      I am a very clean person, I love cleaning and love the house to be clean and smell clean.  I keep the house picked up, I walk in the house from work and start cleaning if needed.  Our bedroom is always clean so I don’t know why she hasn’t learned from my example...see.

      I can only hope she changes but for now she will just have to be mad because she is going to keep that room clean...I’ll just keep going in there everyday after work and she will get sick of me coming in her room being nosey!!!!!!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Bluerose wrote Jan 30, 2009
    • 3sa - Can you come to my house?  LOL

      My daughter has the same problem.  I bought her a bunch of bins & some organizers.  We went through her room & found a home for everything she owns.  Now when her room is messy, I tell her to get it cleaned up before she can go to visit her friends.  She can’t go anywhere until I inspect the room.  So far so good.  It gets cleaned up even faster if there is a swimming pool at her destination!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      3sa wrote Jan 30, 2009
    • wow thanks ladies....looks like 1 I am not alone, and 2 I need to put my foot down.  I admit I have not tried the YOU CAN‘T leave until the room is clean so I am going to try that, plus I’ll inspect it every night before it gets out of hand. It’s so bad that her walk in closet has everything on the floor nothing is hung up....ARRGHHHHHHH



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Jan 30, 2009
    • My house is spotless erywhere else, and has stated, two others are neat.

      so for us, it is not by example estatic



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Jan 30, 2009
    • I shut the door and shut my eyes when I walk by my son’s bedroom.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Martha Perez Torres wrote Mar 13, 2009
    • I go through the same with my daughter (10) her room is a mess and when I loose control and start throwing her stuff in the garbage then she picks up.  BREATHE-Girl!  I try that tecnnique-sometimes it works!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Susan Sullivan wrote Mar 16, 2009
    • I realize that I’m totally in the minority here, both because I don’t have kids and also because I think you should just drop it and leave it.  I was a slob when I was a kid, there was precious time wasted arguing and whining and crying and the bottom line was, I changed when I was ready.  If they are slobs elsewhere in the house, fine, but in their room, does it really hurt anything to just leave them be?  They are growing, discovering who they are and what they do and don’t like.  Living in a room that’s messy and cluttered never killed anyone and if you don’t like it, shut the door and move on.

      My father never would and he threw away many things that to him was junk but to me was precious. I was in my 40’s before I forgave him and it turned me into a lifelong packrat..when I really doubt I’d have become one on my own.  Your room is really the only thing that’s yours when you‘re a kid. Your folks decide your neighborhood, your school, your schedule, your food,...pretty much everything. What’s to hurt allowing them that 10×12 feet of space to do as they wish, even if it pushes every OCD button you as a parent might have.

      As I said, I know I’m minority and I mean no offense at all, just my two cents worth remembering all too well the crap I went through as a teen, despite my good grades, my generous amount of chores done, my full time job, my full time school and my church work.



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