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Death, divorce, job loss, transitions - they are all a part of our every day life. It’s all about how we choose to deal with all of these situations. How do you deal with them? Do you choose to look at the positive or the negative. Do you choose to think of bad situations as freedom from the bad situation or sadness for a loss?

Here you will find a few ways we may view these situations/emotions etc.


The person moves on to a new horizon, a greater place, a new frequency, a new understanding, a new love. They are now free from physical, emotional or any other kind of pain. They are now FREE.

Sometimes we tend to think more about ourselves and less about them. I’m beginning to find that’s what grieving is all about because I do believe they are in a great place but we miss them so much we are thinking about ourselves never seeing them again.

We think - we are now alone without this person. We miss them so much. We think about them all the time. We may say to ourselves - Why did they leave me? Some feel like life will never be the same. A lot of times - This is all about us...not them.  Of course there are some that were taken from us suddenly at a very early age, or just unexpectedly and it’s harder to grasp but they are in a better place, I believe.


Mentally, It’s usually a great thing for at least one of the individuals or it wouldn’t be happening. If the marriage is ending someone wanted to go. Sometimes it’s a good thing for both parties involved unless it was caused by an infidelity or something similar that was unexpected. So, the person initiating may be thinking - woo hoo, I am finally FREE. I can do what I want now. No more pain, emotionally or physically depending on the marriage. I can finally do what I want to do.

Where the other person or even the same person can be thinking. I miss what we had together (even if it was bad). I’m lonely. I hate being alone. I’d rather be miserable with him/her than without her. Who am I going to go to dinner with. Who is going to help me with the house. How will I take care of the kids?

Again, do you see - it’s mostly about you (ourselves), not about missing the other person.

Loss of a Job  

Okay, so you lose your job and you choose to say - YES!, Noq I can pursue the life I really want to have. I can do this and that and I’m FREE from that job. There is a much better job waiting for me, more suited to me with better pay. Or you can think, great I needed this time off to reevaluate what I really want to do in life. Or you might think of another trade you learned in the past and do that temporarily without even missing a beat.

Another person might go home and cry, fall into a deep depression, miss the job they once hated. They might think - if that boss didn’t want me, no one will. I’m good for nothing. I don’t know how to do anything. I miss the people there (even though you complained about them every day). What am I going to do now? Why do these things always happen to me? I did everything right.

Again, you are focusing mostly on how you feel and not focusing on what you can do to change what needs to be changed and do what needs to be done.

Changing our thoughts  

How do we change these thoughts? I’m still working on that. I think we are going to tend to think of ourselves in every situation and that’s okay to a point but we also need to remember all the good that comes from situations. If we focus on the positive, we get more positive. I do my best to find to good in every bad situation now; usually while it’s taking place. I certainly learned over the past everything is a learning lesson for me.  

I’m finding with my dad passing that it was my biggest loss ever in life. Some days are good, some days are horrible but it is all about me missing him. Is that selfish? I miss the times we talked (even though it sometimes drove me nuts then...hee hee). I miss our instant messages to each other. I miss him depending on me and needing me (even though it sometimes got me crazy at the time). I miss seeing his smile. That’s all about me. I think he’s in a better place now but I also do think he had more life to live but not in pain. He is FREE. You are free daddy! YOU ARE FREE!

So, I’m doing my best to change my thoughts about dad’s death: to know it was his time and he is happier where he is. I know he had so much more he wanted to do in life but it wasn’t his time. He showed his daughters how much he loved them towards the end by being less selfish which is kind of ironic since that’s what this blog is about. I miss him so much. I will changed my thoughts recently and I started concentrating on what is/was better for him.

Pray for the best for everyone (not just yourself)  

I always pray for the best of everyone: whether it be a job situation, a divorce, buying something new, or getting something I want.

I prayed for the best even when dad was in a coma. I gave him permission to die if he wanted to. I told him if he’s ready he should go. I also told him that my sister and I could take care of ourselves, not to worry. I learned one thing in the past and that is to pray or wish for the best of everybody, not to pray for what I want. If it is the best thing for them and everyone around them then that is what should happen. Really think about the power or prayer - If I would’ve prayed for him to live, he may be a vegetable right now and that’s not a life. That would’ve been me wanting my dad around;but at what cost? That’s selfish.

So, what I’m saying is sometimes we need to think about the positive for ourselves and the other person. It’s not always easy to pray for the best for the situation when we want something so badly...but I feel it’s the right thing to do).

Good luck on this journey called Life!

I’m not even sure what lessons this blog has but I needed to write it for the best of everyone, including myself. It was for me and you!

I wanted to show it's all about being Free and it's all about learning to be more selfless, if that is the word I'm looking for, less selfish.

Have a great day.

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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Nov 13, 2011
    • Great post Marion!!
      I believe in finding something positive in every situation.  For me it’s the only way I can cope at times.  When I hear of something horrible happening to someone I immediately try to find something positive.  If I didn’t do this I would be in a horrible depression all the time because there is so much bad happening every single day.  

      Prayer is powerful! I never just pray for myself but for so many others.  Sometimes praying for someone is all we can do for them.  And sometimes that is ALL WE SHOULD DO FOR THEM.  

      Life is so much easier to live when we focus on the positive than the negative.  I know of many people who have had horrible things happen to them only to turn all of that around and use that tragedy to help someone else.  It’s all about how you CHOOSE to deal with something.  It’s all about CHOICES.  

      Today...I CHOOSE to be POSITIVE!!

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Diane17 wrote Nov 13, 2011
    • I echo Mary Clark’s sentiments in that prayers are powerful!  For instance, there is a strong possibility that I will be laid off from a company where I have worked 10 1/2 years!!  I have been asking everyone and I mean EVERYONE for their prayers and they have been working!!  I have a few interviews this week lined up, a couple leads, and my husband found a NEW job!!  And this all happened in a very short span of time.

      Focusing on the positive is also important.  I may be losing this job but I don’t know what’s next.  Maybe I will truly LOVE my next job.  To be honest, I wasn’t all that happy with my current job.  I really believe that everything happens for a reason.

      When I was in college I had a great job working for NASA and I really thought that they would offer me a permanent position after I graduated.  Well, that didn’t happen and I remember being really upset when I was told that they would not be offering me a permanent position.  I found a new position relatively quick and while I was very very stressed in my new position, this was where I met my husband!  If I had stayed at NASA, I would not have met my husband.  


      Your attitude does determine your altitude!!

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marion Licchiello wrote Nov 13, 2011
    • Yes... I love your attitude... if you didn’t like the job that much is was meant for you to be out of there... now concentrate and focus on getting exactly what you desire!!!!!

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mzd3 wrote Nov 15, 2011
    • heart

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