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I have had mostly bad luck in relationships ever since i was old enough to be in one. I am 46 yrs old, and haven’t been in a real relationship in 6 yrs. First, i told myself never again, then i got used to being alone and started liking it, and now i can’t think of ever being in one. Was i alone too long? I simply don’t want a real relationship. I would be ok with dating but even at that, it would be only very casual just time to time. I need a mans help around my house and i am very financially unable. But everytime i start dating someone which isn’t often, they always want more and i dont want to get into a steady relationship. I want someone i can go out and have dinner with or watch a movie, maybe have sex after awhile that is. and someone i can lean on and they can lean on me. We could be there for one another in time of need, without the complications of a real relationship. I don’t want to have to explain myself to anyone like where was i at or why didn’t i answer the phone on a paticular day, why didn’t i invite them to go along. I don’t want a big attatchment. I can’t seem to find anyone who wants it the way i do....All men i meet want to go out every weekend, call everyday. And get mad at me when im not available when they called or wanted to come by. And i do have a rule, no man comes without an invitation to my home. Am i being too strict? Am i being selfish? I don’t want to know what they are doing or where they are at or expect them to be by the phone. Or have i just not found the right person yet?  I have health problems and anxiety problems alot of it comes from bad relationships in the past. So what am i to do...im alone most of my life all but my kids, because i do not want a full time relationship, and even at dating i want it to be just every now and then but i do expect them to be there for me IF i was to need help....like car repairs or a little money. But everytime a man does help me then he expects so much more out of us. And im not talking about the sex. He will want more of seeing me......and i dont wish to see anyone that often. Maybe go out or date every other week, i cant handle every weekend..........anyone got any advice??? And by the way i run the all off because they will get demanding that we are going to have a relationship or nothing at all. And i choose nothing at all. and back to square one.

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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cheekymonkey wrote Sep 21, 2010
    • estatic Well first welcome to fab 40. The most wonderful inspiring place. Its full of caring,truth,friendship and honesty.heart So, with that said I dont think there is anything wrong with not wanting a committed relationship and just dating if the guy understands ftom the beginning.
      However, what I dont understand is why you expect them to help around the house with repairs or to loan you money? Are we talking about friends your dating or new people in your life? There is nothing wrong with being independant and choosing not to be in a one on one relationship but if these are not friends your dating then repairs and loans I wouldnt ask for.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Sep 21, 2010
    • I second the welcome. And I agree with Crista. You seem to be happy without a commited relationship and I don’t see anything wrong with you setting your own boundaries with dating and such. But I also agree that loans or help with repairs shouldn’t be asked for or expected if you‘re not in a relationship. It invites a deeper commitment and causes confusion, resentment and a feeling of being used when these signals get mixed up.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lazylola wrote Sep 21, 2010
    • I agree with the ladies.estatic



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Victorious wrote Sep 21, 2010
    • I agree tooheart



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Victorious wrote Sep 21, 2010
    • I think maybe you have not met the right person as yet. I have a friend who felt the same way...I introduced her to a friend of mine and she now thinks differentlyheart



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