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The article below describes me to a tee!  And breaking the nice habit is harder than losing 40lbs....  I am trying because I knew sometimes being nice did not make me happy but I did not know it was jacking up my health!  

Are you too nice?  

Being Nice Can Be Hazardous to Your Health
By Vicki Rackner, MD

While being nice sounds like a good idea, there's a problem. It doesn't work. People pleasers often take care of others at the expense of themselves. Activities that promote health, like the daily walk and a good night's sleep are sacrificed when someone else is in need. Trying to avoid or ignore conflict and anger is like trying to hold a beach ball under water. Unexpressed feelings can pop up as physical ailments, such as heartburn or depression or back pain. When your value as a person is defined by what other people think about you, and you don't measure up, food or alcohol medicate the emptiness.

If you're a people-pleaser who gets sick, the same behaviors that got you to the doctor in the first place may stand in the way of getting good health care. You might not want to “trouble your doctor” with your problems. If you have side effects from a medication, you might simply stop taking the pills rather than tell your doctor that you want to try a different medication. A cross look from the front office staff when you ask for a copy of your medical record may be all you need to decide that you're not doing that again.

The bottom line is that being nice can be hazardous to your health. It erodes your health and impairs your ability to get better if you're sick.

I invite you to examine how being nice is working for you. Serving others offers great rewards. Serving at the expense of yourself comes with a huge cost that ultimately limits your ability to serve. You can be freed from the imprisonment of people-pleasing. If you want to treat yourself with more love and respect, here are some thoughts.

Re-think being nice.
People-pleasing is a learned behavior that can be unlearned. Although habits may be deeply engrained, small changes can make a huge difference. Next time you're asked to volunteer, instead of jumping in with a “Yes“, say, instead, “I'll get back to you on that.” You will come to understand that “no” is a complete sentence, and you can utter the word! If you can't imagine doing this, use this “fake it till you make it trick“...tell yourself that you're taking care of your children's father, your mother's daughter or your pet's owner.



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