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Grandpa/ma has Alzheimer’s disease-how do you tell the kids?

I’m dealing with just that subject in my latest article, pages 68-72, in the OC Family magazine:

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Carine, Your links have been removed, please consider upgrading to premium membership.

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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Suzann wrote Dec 1, 2010
    • Excellent article, Carine.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Max0125 wrote Dec 1, 2010
    • Great article! This info is so needed right now.

      On a side note, caregiver’s stress is finally being recognized. Being one who has recently joined the sandwich generation, I was suprized that roughly 30% of Americans are caregivers and the number is expected to grow.  

      Thanks again for the info.

      Mary

      “A mind full of gratitde has no room for complaints.”



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Carine Nadel wrote Dec 1, 2010
    • I think Mike Sanchez mentioned the hit his health took in the article.  my dad is just beginning his journey, but mom is totally exhausted and is still at the point where she doesn’t want help, won’t get help and keeps saying “I’ve got it under control”

      we‘re making headway though.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Max0125 wrote Dec 1, 2010
    • Carine,

      Has you Mom attending a support group for Alzheimer’s caregivers? If she hasn’t, encourage her to go for support as well as to get connected to the services in the community. She will also find a ton of tips to deali with a spouse with Alzheimer’s. There are also some great online forums that offer support as well.

      It is hard caring for a loved one. I recently saw a Caregiver’s Bill of Rights online. It was excellent and I highly recommend sharing it with anyone who is a caregiver.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Carine Nadel wrote Dec 1, 2010
    • believe me Mary, my sister and I have been talking a bluestreak trying to get her to go, telling her we’ll take her.  so far, she’s refusing.
      our son said he’d come and stay w/ our dad while we went. She’s the type that wants no one to know her business. but it’s affecting her health and we told her that she’s got to let us in. that she raised us to be considerate helpful people and now she wasn’t letting us do what we were raised to do.
      I think after T-giving though, she’s beginning to re-think. he’s still able to see that he’s physically okay, but mentally he’s “not doing well at all”
      he re-told DIL, SIL and Dh repeatedly about his loss of driver’s license.  DH said this to him“Dad, it’s painful to you, I understand, but we‘re all going to have to give up something we’ve done our whole lives at some point.  We need to do what’s best for everyone and consider the safety of others, not just what’s right for us.  It hurts a lot, but we will all have to face something like this.”



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Max0125 wrote Dec 1, 2010
    • Carine,

      I am sorry that you having to go through this. I know what you are going through. Our parent’s generation would rather die than ask for help. During my father’s illness, my Mom would not accept any outside help. She knew that we (meaning her and me) could handle it. By the time my Dad died I was super burned out. Now, I am helping take care of my Mom who has a severe degenerative disorder that will make her wheelchair bound in the very near future. She is refusing any outside help and would rather die than have a stranger come in to help her. Unfortuneatly, she also falls a lot and refuses to get a life alert type device. Sometimes talking to her is like talking to a rebellious three year old! I also feel bad for her that she been robbed of her independence.

      I look at caregiving as the ultimate double sided sword- a burden and the greatest gift to give a parent. I have learned to practice daily stress management and asking for help when I need it.  

      Good luck and keep us posted. Thanks again for the great article!

      Mary



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Carine Nadel wrote Dec 1, 2010
    • unfortunately, you‘re right Mary.  The caveat for me is that I have moderate/severe RA and OA.  No way can I do the daily care.  My sister had a knee injury and it is severe enough that she too can only go to a certain degree.  

      We also have another problem-my DH’s mom, who if you’ve read some of my vents-is not only a problem, she’s a drain on us in so many ways it’s just sad all the way around.  

      Good luck to you-I have a feeling we‘re all going to be needing it in gargantuan amounts.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Max0125 wrote Dec 1, 2010
    • Carine,

      I know exactly what you are going through! Take care of yourself and good luck to you too!

      Mary



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