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Why do we care so much about what others think of us and why do we place so much value on their thoughts? This is a question that I’ve thought about a great deal. Last week I realized the simple answer is - we are social creatures. If one doesn’t care and connect with others they are anti-social. Simple as that.

Being social creatures, we seek out others as friends and companions and with others come their thoughts, beliefs, values.... No one exists in a bubble. We all influence each other. One thing we tend to forget is that although we do influence each other, it’s just that - influence. We don’t have control over anyone or anything but ourselves. We can’t make anyone do anything, much like you can’t make a polar bear a pet. It’s not going to happen. On that same plane is the fact that no one can control us unless we give that person permission to do it. How do we give people permission? We allow their influence too much importance and allow it to allow us to put our own values on the back burner.  

We need to remember to be true to ourselves. We are not being anti-social or failing to be a “team player” by staying true to our own growth. In what direction are we growing? If we want to continue in that direction we need to remember our own goals and values and not allow ourselves to place too much importance on others’ influences, especially if they don’t mirror our own goals and values. This isn’t easy to do and I’ve been struggling with it for years. Although I slip on occasion I know though that I will be successful again and will continue to work to not give too much power to the influences of others. I will be being true to me and will still be a social creature. Our growth is a continual process.

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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Suzann wrote May 29, 2010
    • Great blog, Sunflower. I totally get what you‘re saying about the conflict between being social and the need to be true to ourselves.

      I was thinking: If we‘re true to ourselves and the social group we‘re in doesn’t like who we are, then we can find another social group in which we might be more comfortable.

      I really relate to what you‘re saying, because I’ve always had a problem with “giving away my energy” by trying to please everyone, be liked by everyone, make everyone happy, and take care of everyone. Like you said about the polar bear being a pet, “Not gonna happen!”

      It’s late in my life, relatively speaking, and I’m just now being able to stay true to myself - at least part of the time. It’s heady, being true to yourself, and it feels WONDERFUL when it happens.  

      Namaste,
      Suzann
      [Link Removed] 


      Suzann, Your links have been removed, please consider upgrading to premium membership.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tracy Lynn Brown wrote May 29, 2010
    • I love it. The more i read, the more informed i get. What a feeling of happiness and of power. to be accountable to ones self, to be in control of your own happiness. I really like that idea.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Veggie wrote Jun 4, 2010
    • heartheartheart



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