I wasn't going to blog today. Sundays are my day of rest and reflection; it's family time. But I am brimming over. I am walking on feathers on clouds on air.
I have four granddaughters, all scattered all over the world - Northern Africa, Texas, Illinois. My children, my grandchildren are scattered and so my heart is scattered. I have asked for that void to be filled so many times. I take on other children to not replace, but to help hold those places that should be filled by my babies. It's not the same but it helps.

Last night, I received a call. It was bittersweet. More sweet than bitter, but still cause for concern. My daughter is being deployed. She is the divorced mother of two of my grandchildren. She has asked us to take custody of the grands so that she can go and serve knowing that the babies (5 and 2) will have the best care possible. She knows that with us, they will be loved in a way that no others could ever imagine.

We have less that a month to prepare. Not a problem. We have worked under pressure before. School and medical records. There's a military base nearby. We will need an addendum to our insurance plan to add them. Simple things. In fact the hardest part of all of this is getting them here. For me, the hardest part will be letting my daughter go. I have to face the relatity that this may very well be the last time that I see her alive. This may be the last time that I hear her laugh, see her smile, hold her, stroke her hair. This may the last time, I may have the to mother my oldest child. If that unfortunate event occurs, we have signed on to raising her children and we will have to remember all the wonderful things about her, those idiyosincracies that made her unique and special.

And so my inner struggle begins.

PEACE! (I hope I find it)
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