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I find that I hate saying the word Boyfriend now that I am 46 years old.  To me it just sounds so Adolescent. He was my high school sweetheart, we have been living together for just about 2 years, I’ve known him for just about 30 years, and I’ve loved him for 30 years. Boyfriend?

My problem is I feel silly saying boyfriend, but there is no other term to use. He is not my fiance. Significant other has been reserved for married couples, and domestic partner for gay couples.  

He doesn’t have any issues with saying “girlfriend“. Seems men like to think they we are still girls, meaning young, so they don’t mind.  But I absolutely hate it and I find myself avoiding conversations in which I have to use the term.  

I have just started using his name when talking about him and some people figure it out(but most assume he is my husband). I am sure it stems from my guilt of living together in sin.  :)



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mz. Queen wrote Jan 13, 2009
    • 3sa,

      I have often felt the same way about using the term “boyfriend” so I thought about “manfriend” but that didn’t slide off my tongue. I use his name it just feels better.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Jan 13, 2009
    • I used to feel the same way after my hubby and i had been together for a while prior to marriage, I agree with you calling your mate boyfriend does make one cringe at the sound of it. My hubby and I came up with pet names to use instead of calling each other b-friend or g-friend so try that and see if it works for you.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Daphne wrote Jan 13, 2009
    • Main Squeeze
      Number One
      “THE” One
      Love of My Life
      My Honey
      Best Friend
      The Man I’m Lucky Enough to Go Home to at Night

      Mix it up, make it playful and fun.  Your man will get a kick out of it, too!  It could turn into “foreplay” if you get REALLY good at it!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Robinesque wrote Jan 13, 2009
    • How about “Soulmate?”
      I love that!  Apparently, your souls have been in sync for 30 years.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Jan 13, 2009
    • Boyfriend just doesn’t sound right when the guy is over 30 or so.  I like “love of my life“.  That’s what my husband is, and he actually called me that before we got married five years ago.  Pretty sure I Never called him my boyfriend.

       My daughter’s “boyfriend” is two years older than I am, so in conversation I have trouble talking about her boyfriend.  I’ve taken to just calling him “the new son in law“, even though they‘re not married.  They are in a committed long term relationship that I expect will last longer than her marriage did, so I figure why not call him the son in law?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      3sa wrote Jan 13, 2009
    • Yeah I like Love of my Life too.  I think I will try it on for size next time.  

      Daphne, you are a mess! LOL estatic
      Neicy, I call him my honeybear and he HATES IT...LOL



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Jan 13, 2009
    • 3sa  come up with a better pet name lol. I wouldn't like that one either lol. ; )



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      3sa wrote Jan 13, 2009
    • Yeah I don’t use that around people, just on text messages to him...hahaha.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Jan 13, 2009
    • Oh ok lol. But try to come up with something better that will appeal to him and see who he responds.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      3sa wrote Jan 13, 2009
    • yeah we have talked about it alot.  I want to be married to him and he wants to spend the rest of his life with me.  Not the same thing.  :) He is not sure marriage works since he had two before that failed.  So I understand his feelings, so I’ll take him anyway I can get him.  In the past I’d just bounce, but that’s my problem I always give up.  This time it’s not an option because I actually love this man, waited 28 years to get back with him, and I am in love with him like I’ve never been hurt.

      Que Sera Sera



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Daphne wrote Jan 13, 2009
    • I’m a mess???  LOL



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Felicia Lewis wrote Jan 13, 2009
    • Girl, just go old school with it. Just say this is my man....happy



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Janeofmyjungle wrote Jan 15, 2009
    • Well teetee you know how I feel, who cares what others think when you talk about him or introduce him, as far as what your relationship is and if you are married or live together.  He is your soul mate and you are together, who needs paper?? We’ve all had the papers and well in the end did it save the relationship/marriage??  Enjoy him, love him and embrace him......



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      3sa wrote Jan 16, 2009
    • That’s so you janeofmyjungle! and yes bfly I do just say, this is Walter, or “yeah Walter thinks so too“.  I let them figure it out.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linni wrote Jan 16, 2009
    • i agree with everyone else.. find a pet name that appeals to you both, and run with it..



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Michelle Walker wrote Jan 16, 2009
    • I use to say this is “my friend“.  Didn’t know it was an issue until he started making comments about it.  So I use a combination of his name and or boyfriend depending on where we are.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Martha Perez Torres wrote Mar 13, 2009
    • Hmmm- I had that same problem up until 20 months ago when we finally got married.  He used to introduce me as his wife-I used to introduce him by his name.  I remember a few years ago one of my twins told his dad that I was different because my last name was different!! He said it so innocently but it made him think- It was hard since I did not feel comfortable introducing myself as his wife when I wasn’t.



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