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Like every morning, I showered and dressed.  As I was pouring what’s left of my once healthy B’s into my underwire bra, I glanced in the mirror.  “Hey, mom!” I said- as my mother was staring back at me.  “Whoa!” was my next thought.

What a way to start a morning.  When did this age thing happen?  Yesterday, I was full and perky, and today saggy and droopy.  

After dressing, I did the “face ritual.”  Wash with exfoliating stuff, wipe with toner, then dot “anti-age” wrinkle cream around my eyes, and moisturizer the rest of my face with salicylic acid for my pre-menopausal outbreaks.  I don’t remember having dark circles and bags under my eyes as a teen (they were only red from lack of sleep, but that’s another story....)or acne either.  But, hey, I’ve got them now!  Great!

Then, my 13 year old daughter, Anna, came in to use my brush, wearing MY JEANS!  And, you know what, her butt looked better in them than mine did.  Have you seen my butt? I’ve lost it somewhere and would like it back... I thought women’s butts just got lower as we aged;  mine seems to have gone directly from me to my daughter!

I have officially entered Oz, and I’ve become the Wicked Witch of the East (minus the green skin...unless I have one too many glasses of wine....).  My body has gone somewhere over that rainbow, and my kids think I’m the meanest mom in the world (they don’t understand why they have to unload the dishwasher....).  How did this happen?

Time.  Although my body isn’t anything like what I think it once was, my brain and soul are firmly in Kansas.  I like who I’ve become, body and all, and I wouldn’t trade my life for a 20-something.  What, go through bad marriages again?  Learn how to take the hard knocks of life and turn them into “learning experiences” all over again?  No, thanks.  

As I head into the next forest singing “butts and boobs and bags, oh my!”  I will be dancing and following that yellow brick road into the unknown, happy to be on the road with friends and love.



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Stephanie wrote Sep 20, 2008
    • you are so right girlfriend! I love you description of this you had me laughing out loud.  So what that your jeans look good on your daughter, i am sure they look fab on you too!!  

      You sing it proud  Butts and boobs and bags, oh my!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Sep 20, 2008
    • LOL! This was so funny and right on!
      I don’t have a daughter to stare at nostalgically, I have a 14 year old niece who is gorgeous! She has the butt I never had. But what I find interesting is she thinks I’m the cats meow. My brother is always telling me that she wants to be like me, how did that happen?
      So rest assured, your daughter is looking at you and wishing she were more like you, whether she admits it or not.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Sep 20, 2008
    • You know........I woke up one morning and everything had gone south as well.  In the quest to defeat this movement...I have had one breast reduction surgery and I am constantly doing microderm abrasion treatments on my face....and any other M.R.P. (Maintenance, Repair, and Prevention) treatments.  Exactly what happened????

      Very funny story Evelyn......



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Evelyn03 wrote Sep 21, 2008
    • Thanks for all the positive comments, ladies!  Really, though, could someone please return my butt????Lol!!!!  Have a great day!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Sep 21, 2008
    • Hey...who said I would grow those bat wings under my arms?  I didn’t ask for that you know.....either....



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Sep 21, 2008
    • Bat wings, granny flaps....whatever....none of it is GOOD!!!  I am having mine removed......somehow....(but in all reality...they really are not that bad....just not as tight and firm as I would like for them to be.....but...it could get worse.....Oh Lord help me....



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