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Falling in love does not have to be complicated.   Sometimes it is as simple as meeting someone for the first time, falling head over heals in love with them and spending a lifetime together.  It can be just that simple!

Several days ago, we interviewed a successfully married couple whose marriage was not all that unusual.  Like many we have interviewed in our search for Great Marriages around the world, they had been happily married for a very long time – 38 years to be exact!  And they love each other to pieces!  Our interview with them was pulsating and delightful.

On the surface, what made this couple unusual was the length of their courtship – three days!   They met, they fell in love, and on the third day of their relationship, Bill proposed to Lucy.   Shortly thereafter, they got married.  This is the stuff of fairytales – or is it?!

Are Bill and Lucy all that unusual?  Our experience tells us they are not.  People fall in love on a first date all the time.  It happens.  The difference is couples usually wait longer than three days to propose marriage, but make no mistake about it, many of the thousands of successfully married couples we have interviewed on six continents of the world have reported that they knew they were in love the first time they met.

One of the interview questions on our marriage interview protocol is the following:  "When did you know you were in love?"  The answer for many is this – "We knew immediately!"

This led us to ask the question – "Are there common elements in the stories of those happily married couples who report that they fell in love almost immediately?"  

People who have fallen in love at first sight report to us the following:

1. When they entered the same physical space for the first time, they felt tingling all over.    They "felt love" when in the presence of this new person in their life, which they had never felt before.  They asked themselves this question – "Is this what real love feels like?  Love is a feeling that transcends a physical presence.  

2. Falling in love at first sight is "emotional."   You smile when you think of the one you have just met.  You miss them when they leave the room.  These couples report that they know someone better in three days than they have ever known someone else in a lifetime.

3. Falling in love at first sight causes you to want to say, "I love you," to the person you have just met .  Having the desire to express love for another person usually takes time.  Wanting to express love in the beginning of a relationship is a sure sign that you are falling in love "at first sight."

4. When you fall in love at first sight, you are likely to have pre-occupied thoughts about the new love in your life within hours of meeting them.   Being fixated on your new lover is a good sign.  It is a telltale sign that you love them.

5. Those who fall in love quickly tell us that they worry about their new lover within hours of meeting them for the first time .  Being preoccupied with their safety is normal.  Calling them to see if they got home okay is routine.  You see, an individual who falls in love at first sight senses in their heart that "this is the one."

6. They reported that their relationship seems almost too easy.   There are none of the worries, uncertainties and fears associated with their previous relationships.

7. When couples report falling in love "at first sight" they say that respect, trust and investment in the relationship is mutual.   In the relationship both are as committed to making the relationship work and both do the simple things that matter in keeping the relationship strong.

The truth is, it is possible to fall in love for a lifetime within just a few days – sometimes even hours.  Couples do it all the time.  There is nothing at all weird or unusual about falling in love for a lifetime after only a few days of courtship.  It happens all the time with some of the best marriages around the world.

Often times, in the beginning, great love just happens.  Sometimes, great love is easy and it is mutual.  Love does not have to be complicated.  Love does not have to be challenging.  Sometimes, love is just right.  Sometimes, loving another human being is so very natural.  

By Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz

**For [Link Removed]  .


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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Mar 30, 2010
    • IMHO, I am sorry to say that after failing my marriage twice, I do not believe in Love @ 1st sight nor any fairy tales anymore.  I remain hopeful and careful.  I seek more than just that chemistry.  I seek the inner beauty of that person.  Chemistry is nice but one does not have that, I still like to know that person in depth so I will not miss out on any potential good friendships.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Dana Cappelletti wrote Mar 31, 2010
    • for some it has worked- but isn’t that true for everything in life?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Rose Nino wrote Mar 31, 2010
    • This is beautiful. heart

      My wonderful hubby and I have been married for almost 23 yrs (we dated for 5 yrs before we got married). And it was love at first sight! When I first saw my dear hubby, I felt a tap on my shoulder, but when I turned to see who it was, there was no one there. So I know it was God telling me, this is the one I’ve chosen for you. Our love has it’s challenges just like any marriage, but we are committed to making it work, and we have much respect for each other and are each other’s best friends and we‘re crazy in love. I am truly blessed!  

      Thank you again for sharing this awesome post!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Funseeker43 wrote Mar 31, 2010
    • what if you feel love at first site, spend an entire day together and ask the man out for a drink, and he explains that he would love to go, but he is recently divorced after 24 years of marriage, and he doesn’t think he is ready for that yet. The chemistry is there though, and this is a situation where I have to see him almost daily. He is kinda avoiding me right now. How do I handle this situation, because my personality wants to talk to him all the time



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Apr 1, 2010
    • I tend to poo-poo the idea of love at first sight.  It just doesn’t seem realistic.

        But, to tell the truth I fell in love with my hubby at first sight. He walked thru the door and something inside of me said, “my oh my!”    

       Sadly we were both married to other people at the time, but eleven or twelve years later, we got together and have been together for eight amazing years.  I have to say, if we had both been single when we met, I would guess we’d have had about a week long courtship before we married.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Wookiemom09 wrote Apr 1, 2010
    • Tuliplady - I agree.  I thought it was a starry eyed ideal that you could meet someone and fall in love.  

      then I met my husband - he was recently separated from his wife and I was dating long term so neither of us were “interested“.  Yet his gaze my heart skip a beat and I felt so happy to talk to him one on one. Three years later he took a chance and asked me out for a drink “as friends” We talked till 1 am and he kissed me that night.  I knew I loved him for so long a little but that just sealed the deal.  We have been insepreble since.  heart



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Everystep wrote Apr 2, 2010
    • It does happen at first sight of course.  How to sustain it, that’s the challenge.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Pamela Foley wrote Feb 19, 2013
    • I met my second second husband and we fell in love the first time we laid eyes on each other. I knew we were soul mates when we kissed each other that same evening. It’s all in the kiss!



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