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I had a fitful and restless sleep last night.  I tossed and turned...images of angry women, bitter women accusing other angry and bitter women of all sorts of devious and manipulative acts.

"She's a bitch!"

"She's crazy, hormonal and psychotic"

"She's nuts, conniving, manipulative...and she hates me!    

Women hating other women seems to be as old as time itself.  

In fact, in this early pre-dawn morning I came to this stunning and sober conclusion:

Women are more misogynistic than men.  

Yeah you heard me right.  Women are more misogynistic than men.

I said it!  Somebody had to say it!

And I am guilty of it, by God.  I can't believe I'm saying this, but it's true.  

I must be honest when I admit to you that since I was a young girl I've been wary of women.  Junior high school was a particularly painful time.  I was teased mercilessly about my appearance, my lack of any kind of thing that resembled a chest.  "There she goes...a carpenter's dream...flat as a board!  Oh Mary, a pirate's dream...a sunken chest!"

Insensitive hormonal pimply-faced boys did not level these hurtful words at me.  They were hurled at me with the velocity of a fast curve ball by girls...mean girls...the mean girls that were popular, good looking and had actual breasts at that tender age...they were my tormenters and accusers.

And no offense to my four sisters, but there was some catty crap going on in those childhood years and they and I have the scars on our arms to prove it.  Literally.

When I went off to the wilds of college, I made sure to stay 200 yards away from any sorority house.  I will admit I always had a built in prejudice for sororities, home to many a mean girl (see what I mean...I'm just as guilty!).  I couldn't stand watching the girlfriends I loved rushing for these sororities only to be met with the big Red Reject because they weren't pretty enough, didn't have the right clothes, the right smile.  

The Miss America pageant has always made me burn.  Even as a young girl I was incensed that women be judged based solely on their looks, "poise and grace".  Gag me with a spoon.  

My own liberal hippy dippy natural Boulder was home to child beauty pageant contestant Jon Benet Ramsey, the terribly misfortune girl who was murdered in her own bedroom right before Christmas.  The outpouring of hatred and judgment towards the mother who had put her daughter in these pageants was evidence enough to many that surely she was the one who killed her daughter!

Women constantly pit themselves against other women.  Pro-life women vs. pro-choice women, stay-at-home mothers vs. working mothers, Republican women vs. Democrat women...on and on and on.

And while we're talking politics, let me confess yet another misogynistic sin of mine.  Show me a picture of Sarah Palin, Ann Coulter, Michele Bachmann, or Carrie Prejean and I want to go postal, like UZI postal.  I suddenly get filled with a burst of testosterone and I get images in my head of bitch slapping them to the point of drawing blood.... and lots of it!  And I get pleasure out of this image!

It's true...I'm just being brutally honest.

Don't get me wrong.  Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Glenn Beck make me seriously mad.  No doubt about that.  But I don't have the visceral vitriolic response like I do with the women I named.... not even close.  What's up with that?

(As much as I can’t stand the politics of Sarah Palin, this type of blatant sexism has got to stop)  

And while I'm baring all here, judge me as you should, but for many years I never liked Hillary Clinton...and I'm a democrat and a woman!  Honestly, I can't even give you a legitimate reason as to why that was.  During the election last year, I was at dinner with some good friends and the topic of Hillary Clinton came up.

At the mention of her name, I scrunched my nose and said, "Ugggh, I just don't like her at all.  Not one little bit."

When a friend asked me why, I was mortified to realize I didn't have one legitimate reason.  Not a one.  I just "didn't like her looks".  Misogyny at its worst.

Pregnant women who have been polled consistently and overwhelming say that they would prefer a boy over a girl because they are "easier"!   And now for another humiliating confession.  Due to my mistrust of women, when my former and I decided to start a family, I wanted three of four sons.  I was adamant that I didn't want girls.

After happily and smugly having two sons, I was pregnant with my third child.  Women would come up to me and coo like love birds and say, "Oh, are you hoping for a little girl?  They are so sweet, special and precious."  To which I would quickly and rudely respond, "HELL NO!  I WANT ALL BOYS.  BOYS ARE EASIER."

Shame, shame, shame on me.  And thank God I didn't get any bad Karma which I so richly deserved because the universe disregarded my blatant sexism and gave me two beautiful smart independent amazing daughters who, like my sons, love me with all their hearts.  I just tear up at the thought of those amazing creatures.

Which reminds me of the classic Mother-Daughter relationship presumed to be fraught with conflict for years and years until the daughter finally has a child of her own.  This supposed tenuous relationship is the fodder for many a book and talk show discussion.

And what about those women who don't give a crap if a man has a wedding band on his left finger and small children waiting for him at home?  As long as he has a penis and a wallet (and let's face it, it's the wallet that takes priority), he's fair game!  There's a hell of a lot of those women running around.  Which reminds me, no one really blames the man.  But the woman...she's an immoral Home wrecker!  I'm getting so confused.

The reason for my fitful sleep was a website I came across last night...a website for mothers whose ex-husbands have a new wife...the dreaded stepmother!  Woe to the woman who has to call herself a stepmother!  Before you can even utter the words, "I do", if you are wife #2 and your new husband has children, you are evil!  Mythology and fairy tales promote this hatred of women who are strong enough to marry a man that is a package deal. Stepmothers have always been the easy targets, the go-to person to blame first.

A stepmother starts off her marriage in the red and it's almost impossible to climb her way out of that kind of inherited debt.  

But wait, then I found a website for stepmothers.  The forum board was nothing but never ending rants how each one of these women complained about their husband's ex-wife citing that these women were crazy psychotic bitches who had no concern for their own children.

It reminded me of the many stepmothers I've counseled over the years and it suddenly occurred to me that almost without exception, practically every stepmother I've worked with has described their husband's ex-wife as crazy.


So let me get this straight...mothers are crazy, stepmothers are crazy.  That's a lot of women.  I mean, really, doesn't it just seem statistically impossible that all these women are crazy?

What is the reason for this?  Is it ancestrally passed on since the beginning of time when women needed to compete with one another for the attention of males so that they could propagate and be protected?  I'm no social researcher or anthropological expert.  What I do know is that it is insipid and deeply rooted into the innermost recesses of our psyches.

For a long time I've considered myself a feminist, but now I'm questioning myself.  Clearly I have some work to do.

So I made a commitment in the wee hours of the morning.  I'm starting with's the only place to start.  I'm getting real conscious real quick.  I'm making a practice of being mindful of my thoughts, my words and my actions towards women and about women.  I'm taking the gigantic log out of my own eye before I try to take the splinter out of another's.  One woman at a time kind of thing.

I've often heard it said that if women ruled the world, there would be no wars, no rape, no torture, no hunger.  

Really?  Maybe I’m sleep deprived.  Call me a bitch and call me crazy.  But I'm skeptical...really really skeptical.

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