You know what I have done the past year? Been unhappy. DOn’t get me wrong, I am not an unhappy person, I just have been ‘unhappy‘.  

My family is good, I love them so much and all, I love the state I am in, I love my friends. I am happy in most every stage in my life save one.

Work.

I absolutely love my job. Seriously, I do. But at the same time I hate it.

I enjoy working in customer service. I love helping people over the phone and on the net.

BUT. I absolutely hate leaving home to do it, I want to work from home. gas prices what they are, plus I find I eat more and move less at work, I am fat already, and work makes me fatter. You cannot get up and move around at work like I can at home. At home if on the phone, I can stand up and do leg bends, I can lean back and stretch out. I can ‘move‘. At work? We cannot do that. We go to work, does not matter, 8 hour shift or 10, we get two 15 min breaks and a 30 min lunch, period. In those 15 min, we have to go potty, get lil things done everyone needs and get back at the desk.  

No extensions, if you go over your min, you can get points and lose your job after so many times (usually 6 or 7 times)

Not worth it. Lunch? Well thats a biggie. Isnt it weird? NO eating at desk, HOWEVER, if you need a hard candy to suck on, fine. If you want to eat soft candy bars, no problem.

I brought some grapes. soft, soundless. And had to toss them out, because we can have snickers, or kit kat, or reeses peices.. et ect.. but cannot have grapes, orange slices.. nuts.. dried fruit..

where is the sense of THAT? Diet/sugar free candy tastes gross :P

Anyways. Just stupid stuff... so I want to do something from home.

BUT i have to survive, make enough money to LIVE.. rent, utlitites, food, and hopefully life/medical ins.

but how the hell do I do that? I have no college, I graduated high school, then was mom and wife until 4 yrs ago when I started working outside the home for the first time.

It sucks :( I feel trapped. My work schedule is so odd I cannot even get into a school to learn something.

There are times I work 10 hour days, other times I am given maybe 24 hour notice my schedule changed. I work typically from 10:30 am till 9 pm, and half days on friday.

I have asked, begged... pleaded for day shift.. but alas, people there have worked there for up to 25 yrs, they get it first, I am literally low on the pole there, finally got an answer, when I have been there 10 yrs, I will be up a notch and chances may be better.  Uh huh.. but I do not want to wait till I am 55.

Quiting? I am job hunting now, it seems jobs arent as easy to get as once was, we have college graduates working at grocery stores.  

I am about as broke as can be. So quitting is not a viable option.

I hate feeling stupid
I hate feeling trapped.