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Benefits
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Remember that commercial? I’m gonna wash that man right out of my hair or was it a song? How do you really do that? 18 yrs later & he’s still in my hair!!!!
Okay, so I don’t want this to be a place of griping for me... I want this... speaking of Fabulously 40 to be a place of fabulous fun!! I want to enter just as excited the day I found this site through random blog reading!!
I’m just a little pissed though at the moment...
my ex-husband is visiting with the boys... they‘re are not little boys though with the exception of the 9yr old twins... so really they are men... at least in their appearance, their mannerisms, the way they behave themselves at times, etc. you get what I’m saying
What I’m immensely irritated at is the way this day has begun and perhaps if I get if off my chest early in the a.m.
I won’t let my feelings go on to spoil the day for the kids, I mean the men!!
Last Saturday, I’m up at 5:45 (that’s a.m.) to take our son to his wrestling meet, home to do laundry, etc!! whatever, right!!
Last night our son declares, it’s okay if he misses his meet today because he’d rather spend it with Dad...
irritation creeping in....
This morning, ex states to me that he will return in an hour as he’s going to work-out!!! Nick is still asleep. Jake is still asleep. They all are still asleep except for me. I will clean the kitchen. Do more laundry. Clean the bathroom. Make breakfast. Oh and clean again!!!
Irritated on so many levels!!!!
I know how you feel... I divorced my girls father when they were 2 &4 (they are 19 &21 now). To this day they let him off the hook on so many things that I never got away with. ‘Oh it’s ok Dad didn’t buy us a birthday gift’ to ‘Well Dad had to work and didnt have time‘.
Grrrrrr............
Just know that no matter the ages of your kids you will still be dealing with this BS......
Yeah, the fathers “seemingly” get away with lots of stuff, but remember your sons and daughters have you and your love and sacrifices buried deep in their souls. No matter how they act they love you and will always.
It will always be a source of irritation, annoyance and pain but remember the fathers time to pay up will come.
I believe that the children are not just letting them off the hook but that they know just how much they can depend on their dad to do what he always does which sometimes is nothing or let them down!
Please be encouraged as I do know about what you are feeling.
much love
47
our children come down on us, because we have proven to be the reliable one. they don’t count on fathers as much, simply because they know inately that reliability is in our hard drive. so, when we let them down - they rightly interpret it as an act against nature. think of it this way: u have two cars - one that is sturdy, dependable, safe; the other is not so sturdy, dependable, or safe (oops!, don’t read too much into safe). well, every once in a while u take a chance on the unreliable one - but, ur not surprised if it doesn’t start, or leaves u stranded by the side of the road. u know that u have far more than a standby on call. so, ur not panicked. now, imagine that the standby lets u down-where do u have to go, when the standby does not come thru? because the standby is what keeps disaster at bay, right? my marriage is in a valley. so, it is great that i found this blog (God is Good). i have a 4 year-old; i go out of my way to keep her stimulated on all levels. if she and i are awake and we are not on our way to school or ballet practice, she can’t comprehend why i would want to keep her home. she expects me to find events for her and gets quite belligerent if i even look/smell like i want to stay in. meanwhile, if she is home with her dad, they can be in separate parts of the house and it will never occur to her to make the equal demand of him.
i took the time to write this because i have friends who assure me that the children really do notice the difference in “quality assurance” and when they are older will reconcile the books fairly. i don’t let this one inequity eat at me, because i honestly relish the time i spend with her, not that other mothers don’t, but i purposely make sure that if there is an event that we both can enjoy, we‘re there - so that i also feel enriched. also, the dads must notice (envy?) the bond that the more reliable enjoys, think how much stronger that bond will become as time goes by.
lastly, our precious ones consciously make an effort not to wear down the lesser reliable parent for fear of frightening him/her away. sadly, its like that unreliable love interest that we had all those years ago that we intuitively knew would withhold from us if we became too demanding.
did i strike a chord? i sure hope so
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