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Thanks to all of you today for your support and willingness to help.  

Today was stressful, probably because I tend to take everything to heart. I think it is because I’m trying to protect the environment and keep it positive and inspiring, instead of conflicting and judgmental. When I get messages from members about any frictions I tend to react immediately.

Today I had to consult with an attorney who made a very good point that I want to share with you.  He asked me what I thought Facebook or My Space does when there is an issue with a member or a group post. I couldn’t really answer the question, so he did it for me. He said that: “If the person in question is not complying with the Term Of Use Policy, their account is deactivated“. No messages, no warning, no stress.

This clause is actually part of our TOU policy, so next time, instead of fifty messages and lots of stress, I will just deactivate the account.  

So what can you do to help?

Just stay away from confrontations, be civil, be positive, and most of all- be happy.

The angry people don’t do well among happy people and they will not stick around.

If the situation presents itself, remind them that this is a place to share, connect, debate (in a good way even if we don't agree), and most importantly have fun.
If they cannot do so, they can always email info at fabulously40 dot com and we will deactivate their account.

Aside from all of the commotion I feel very fortunate to have all of you as part of this great community. I hope that we will continue to inspire each other and challenge each other. The best is yet to come.



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Bobbi Bacha wrote Nov 5, 2008
    • I concur one hundred percent.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jacquie6363 wrote Nov 5, 2008
    • As adults this task should be easy to accomplish.  I hate confrontations...such an ugly thing



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Nov 6, 2008
    • Thank you Yana. You‘re so right about not getting in the middle of the confrontations. Someone looking for a fight and getting nothing in response will go pick a fight somewhere else. They actually end up looking pretty silly.

      You‘re the best



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cindylouwho1966 wrote Nov 6, 2008
    • Thanks, Yana. Healthy debate is one thing. Judgment and damning to hell are completely another.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Carine Nadel wrote Nov 6, 2008
    • Yana, I have been rather into trying to get a job on the “outside” lately and have only seen a few of the “nasty” posters, but I am a moderator for a magazine site and I can tell you that this is what we were told to do-write a nice, but firm note to the starting offender, asking them to abide by the rules of the site.  give them 48 hours to respond to you.  If no response is made, deactivate them.
      In theory, by not apologizing or making any contact, they have decided to leave on their own accord.
      You’ve done a fantastic job in creating this home-away-from-home for all of us, those who can’t behave in the spirit of the site-shouldn’t be allowed to be here.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Nov 6, 2008
    • Whatscooking.. I personally like that idea too.  We human, especially in our 40+, with hormonal changing, can sometimes make silly but serious mistake.  A wake up call is great to help the person to grow and if she refuses, that’s her problem.  Everyone deserves a chance, but one chance in such behavior.   We, are the Ya Ya Yana Sisterhood, thus we stick together to help each other.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Nov 6, 2008
    • Yana,
      I applaud you. I love coming to Fab40 and hanging out, this is my getaway from the day to day crap.
      I know we can’t all agree, but we can at least respect each others opinions. We thank you for caring about all of us and our rights, and making sure we all place nice. :0)



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Alleyne-Hill wrote Nov 6, 2008
    • Thanks for posting this Yana..I know that I have been guilty of not ‘walking’ away when these debates get started, and I have since apologized for my behavior. As I told you, stand by your convictions and do not waiver for anyone...You cannot please everyone, nor should you try to. I am 100% behind you in what you are doing and your vision for your ‘Labour Of Love‘.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Peejay64 wrote Nov 8, 2008
    • Power to you, Yana!
      As someone who HATES confrontation, I understand how you must have felt.
      I admire and appreciate what you have done to bring together this community of women who are all so vastly different.
      Let’s appreciate what we have, respect the differences, and enjoy our time!
      Thanks for what you’ve done and what you continue to do for all of us.

      Patti



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Michelle Rowe wrote Nov 9, 2008
    • I’m a firm believer in not giving energy where energy is not deserved. I mentioned this in the thread where there was a threat to contact a lawyer and, viola, the thread died.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Dana Hall wrote Nov 9, 2008
    • Again?! Yana, I am so sorry to hear you’ve had to go through this again! I stressed out for you last time.

      Ladies, we should make a pact to send these people to the Terms of Service as soon as we see a problem. This will, unfortunately, be an ongoing issue as long as new members come on. And, that IS the goal, to grow the site for Yana.

      Invite your personal friends.



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