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Ladies,

I am writing this blog to ask for your prayers for a dear friend of mine Terry Kelly.

He is the father of four children and his oldest son age 21 killed himself a few day ago. As you can imagine he is grieving and questioning himself. My heart is breaking for his wife and him and children.

I just wanted to tell you all about him . He is such an encourager in our office. He is a faithful Christian man and I have the upmost respect for him.  

He called me yesterday morning and said he needed my prayers and he wanted to tell me that our friendship meant so much and he was calling the people that have made a difference in his life professionally and personally. He was telling me how much integrity that my real estate partner and  I bring to the office. He said he wanted to  take time to tell the people that he loved how much they meant to him. He said obviously if he would have let his son know that more he might still be here. He said his son had been down and they just kinda dismissed it since young people are up one day and down the next.  He is blaming himself for his son’s death and I have been praying for God’s grace and strength for this dear man.

I am amazed at a time like this he is taking the time to call others and say hey I love you. You mean the world to me when his world is falling apart. He said this is his wake up call to let other know everyday how much they mean to him. Let them know and take time to make a difference.  

I cannot imagine the grief and void that they are feeling. I am writing you because I believe there is power in prayer . He is reading a letter at the funeral on Monday. It is a letter from a father to a son. He said Darla, I have to do this for him. I ask for your prayers because right now I do not know how I am going to get up and read this but I know I have to for my family.

Terry has three other children, The youngest is age nine and this little boy is truly struggling. He idolized his older brother. He would do everything the older brother would do and he already misses him so much.

Terry’s last words to me yesterday before we hung up was, “Darla, if one person can benefit from my sons death and come to know Christ and go to  Heaven then his death will not be in vain. God is a faithful God and I know He will bring my family and I through this fire that we are going through right now. Just please pray that I can be the rock that I need to be at this time“.

I hope you can just get a glimpse at what kind of character this man has and remember him in your thoughts and prayers. My husband  Don and I have cried so much for Terry and it is a reminder to us what a blessing we have in our children Josh and Ashley .

Monday will be a hard day to get through. Death is never easy. It is so much harder when it is our children. This is truly a time when we all have to trust and Let Go And Let God.



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jacquie6363 wrote Dec 14, 2008
    • Oh Darla, thoughts, prayers and condolences to your friend and his family.

      Death is never never easy, but much easier to handle depending on the death.  I cannot even begin to imagine your friend’s grief, but with time his pain will lessen and he will see and know that as a father he did all that he could for his son.

      My neighbour at work, had to deal with the death of her son in the same manner a few years ago and to this day, it is still a sticky conversation with her, each day it get’s less and less, but the pain is still evident.  A supervisor at the job also had to deal with this situation just last week when his 14 yr old, did the same thing.  Though this young man was not his biological son, and he had adopted him from a home for homeless boys, he still wonders what he could have done and had he done enough.

      Let Don know that us here at the FAB40 group will remember him and his family.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lisa Middlesworth wrote Dec 14, 2008
    • My heart goes out to Terry, his family and you Darla. I will keep you all in my prayers for strength and guidance.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Dec 14, 2008
    • Wow Darla, this story hits close to home for me.
      My 21 year old son also took his own life on July 22, 2005. Nothing can prepare you for this, nothing at all.
      I too have wrestled with feelings of guilt over the years, trying to figure out what signs I missed. He was in the Navy and stationed in Washington State, so I was not able to be close to him those last months of his life.
      The one thing I beat myself up over the first few years was his birthday cake. I was supposed to make one for AJ and send it to him and I never did. But I was caught up in my own life and would tell him I was sending it and I didn’t.
      That still haunts me.
      Please let your friend Terry know that he is not alone. Tell him that as a parent we can not always know what our children are truly going through, that we do the best we can.
      Jacquie, I have to disagree with you when you say that death is easier to handle depending on how the person died. Death is never easy to deal with, regardless of the manner. 8 months after my son died, my mother in law passed away from cancer. Her death, even though we knew it was imminent, was no easier to deal with then my sons death. It was hard to watch her wither away, she took my sons passing very hard. What made it worse was he died on her birthday.

      I also think the truly sad part of dealing with a suicide death is other peoples perception of that persons passing. With my son being in the Navy, it was automatically assumed that he died at war. To see the look on peoples faces change when they find out he took his own life is frustrating. Likewise dealing with insensitive comments and how cavalier people are with the words “I’m going to kill myself“.
      My son was a beautiful sensitive, caring person. He loved his family completely. He never forgot to take the time to call his ailing grandmother and try to cheer her up. My dad in law says that he could always tell when AJ had called mom, she had a spark and she was more like her old self for days after. He was her first grandchild and they had quite a bond.
      I so feel for your friend, Darla. But it’s having a friend like you that will make things easier for him. Besides my family, my real friends were always there for me. They still are.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Dec 14, 2008
    • I’m very sorry. My condolences & prayers to you and your friends. My heart goes out~



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Dec 14, 2008
    • I had to add this. This is mom and AJ together when he was young. They are both my angels now.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jacquie6363 wrote Dec 14, 2008
    • Oh Ingrid, in no way, was my comment meant to be personal, but every relationship with family members are not the same and some people do handle the death of an ailing member better than others, some see it as being out of the pain and suffering and others it will be hard no matter what.  

      I am a victim of a loss and it was over 32 years and it still pains deeply, his death was unexpected.  

      Hope I did not offend..



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Dec 14, 2008
    • Oh no, Jacquie, you did not offend me at all. I totally understand what you are saying. I just misunderstood what you wrote, sorry about that.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jacquie6363 wrote Dec 14, 2008
    • Thanks Ingird, because I know this is an at home story for you and I didn’t want to.  Now, I am here sitting in tears, because it just takes me back to the day my father died.

      Love to you, AJ and Granny...happy



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linda Hendricks wrote Dec 14, 2008
    • I am terribly sorry to hear of all these tragedies.... I worry too... I have a 25 year old son that I feel is prone to wide mood swings...  

      When he was in college ... the stress of a very large impersonal university was difficult to handle... which I had no idea about... I called him every week or so and we met for lunch or dinner... little did I know he basically had locked himself in his room for two weeks... barely eating or going out... no one noticed... dorm “monitors” are a joke at some universities... it was only because I kept in touch with him and kept the communication open that he finally let me know of his struggles...

      I think about what could have happened... and frightens me... he lives in upstate NY ... and I mostly in southern Georgia... I struggle with that distance... I make sure to go about once a month to visit for a weekend... thank goodness for free flights I have accumulated on Southwest...
      and I talk to him frequently... he needs a cheerleader...

      And... no he won’t seek professional help... my degree was in psychology... so there isn’t a stigma with therapy... he manages well... but I know the dangers... and my heart breaks everytime I hear of one of these stories... and I think it could have been me grieving...

      I will pray for all of you that have had to live with these horrible events...

      With Love,
      Linda



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Dec 14, 2008
    • Isn’t it something how you can re-live that day forever. I can still remember, verbatim, the words of the insensitive nurse in the ICU ward when my son was dying.
      She asked me if I knew what happened. At the time, I was told by another nurse that he was septic, so I repeated that to the nurse. She said “No, your son has taken an overdose of sleeping pills and is not expected to live“. This is over the telephone, mind you.
      I felt like I had been punched in my stomach.
      I still can’t believe it.
      A few weeks ago while I was in Florida, my mom gave me a calendar that my sons school had them make when they were very young. I brought it home and my boys and I laughed at their drawings. I then said “I can’t wait for AJ to see it, he will be so tickled“. The room went quiet.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Dec 14, 2008
    • Thank you Linda. And I think it’s wonderful that your son has a great mom/cheerleader. Blessings to you and your son.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Coachmombabe wrote Dec 14, 2008
    • Darla, I am so glad he has a friend like you nearby. I will join my prayers with those of others here. And as Jacquie said, please let him know he and his family are in our thoughts and prayers.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Dec 14, 2008
    • I wasn’t sure if I would bring this up or not..
      I have experience with this topic as well as I lost my brother that way on March 30, 1997.
      Ingrid or Darla, feel free to email me any time if you’d like.

      Many prayers & hugs to all of you.

      Have a good night.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linni wrote Dec 14, 2008
    • Oh Darla.. i am so sorry to hear this news.. i can not even imagine.. please Tell Terry i will keep him and his family in my prayers, and ask God to give him the strength to read that letter..

      I am keeping you in my prayers too Darla..for God to give you the strength as you are there for Terry and his family. What a BLESSING you are to him! thank you for being the friend you are!

      Gods Blessings to you!
      Linni



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