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In my experience, many parents sometimes have trouble finding the right words to comfort their children when they encounter difficult or frightening issues.  I have found that they are often unsure of how to share with their young children their family’s values, or feel ill prepared to explain difficult or moral situations. Unfortunately, very little suitable material is available to parents to help them accomplish this task.

I wrote “The Adventures of Seamus the Sheltie” specifically to create a safe and fun environment to discuss these issues using animal characters. A parental discussion guide was included. Following the publication of the first book, I received many requests from parents thanking me for the book and asking if in the next book I would have Seamus address specific issues that they were having problems with. Issues included adoption, death in the family, how to handle bullies, being born different, going to the doctor, fear of ghosts & monsters, and many many others.  

These suggestions formed the basis of the second book, “More Tales of Seamus the Sheltie“. Both books have now won multiple national awards from parenting groups.

I am asking members who are parents to suggest topics and issues that you have struggled with in discussions with your young child (6-12 years old). These suggestions will help focus my efforts in future parenting articles for the Fabulous40 membership or perhaps upcoming books.

I would appreciate your suggestions and input.



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Jun 15, 2009
    • I was a single mother during my son’s young hood years.  I have difficulties to tell him about the birdies.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Jun 15, 2009
    • My husband works with kids from grades 6-12. Your book seems to be targeted for younger kids but for the middle schoolers I see a trend that is disturbing. They are very tech saavy these days. The concern I have is what they are personally sending over the internet. How do parents deal with their children sending inappropriate photos or other content through their cell phones and their computers?

      My husband’s school is a private school and it’s very strict. We deal with far less than other institutions do. But this school year we were shocked that some middle school boys humiliated another child by holding him down and urinating on him. These were children who we never suspected would do such a thing.  

      How do we keep kids from becoming desensitized from inappropriate behavior as they are bombarded with images online and on television?

      Thank you for doing the work you do. Our kids are our future and this is important stuff.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Jun 16, 2009
    • I agree withe Cynthia.  We have waaay too many problems in the middle school/junior high years. There is a lot going on with their bodies anyway...and then to add technology to the mix...it’s a letal cocktail in my opinion.  Kids are mean to one another and I have found that parents are sometimes behind that meanness as well.  So it’s hard to make kids understand about being kind to one another when you have the parents setting the not so fine example.  

      I feel there are ways to talk to kids...but I personally think we need to bring back some old school ways of...these are rules...you need to follow them..if you don’t..this is what will happen...and if they break them..then it has to happen.  Always!!  For so long...experts were telling us to explain everything....reason with them..etc.  That is bunch of crap.  Kids need to learn..that everything doesn’t have to be explained to them. Okay...I’ve rambled enough.  My mother would tell me “no” to something and I would ask “why” and her response to me was, “because I said so“.  And that is the way it was....I accepted it..and moved on.  And I turned out perfectly fine.  I’m done now.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      007pouty wrote Jun 16, 2009
    • My son who is a mixed race, adopted, and had to learn the facts of life.  We started early in his life and gave him the information he needed how he was different and why.  Yes, he had 2 mommys and 2 daddies.  We were given the gift of being able to care for him, because his parents were not able to. We continued and built upon this topic as he grew. His friends would come over shocked, one was almost in tears he asked me if my son was really adopted.  I told him “yes” we were lucky enough that the people who had my son could not taken care, etc. My son at one point about 11-13 years old said someday he would like to find his parents.  I told him that’s fine when the time comes (he would have to be older than 18) I would do everything I could to help him find them.  I’ve always realized he was a gift we were allowed to have for a period of time and someday I might have to share him with others.  That day hasn’t come yet, he’s still under 18, but as he grows and matures I see and hear so many interesting thoughts from him.  He commented to me about his heritage.  I told him I was unsure about one part of it, but the other part I knew and told him.  We’ve always taught him and any other child in our care that the color of a persons skin doesn’t matter, it’s whats inside that counts.  Of course, from our own families there has been some backlash, but we never let it be known to him and we’ve told those members that they have their opinions.  But, we believe that our society today is more open and sharing with individuals of mutli-races than when we were growing up and we were going to allow our son to find his way, the way that he feels most comfortable and try not to interject our opinions or our families opinions on him.  Most of the family is very helpful and receptive to us and him.  There will always be someone who isn’t we just have to allow for that and let him know that people are entitled to their opinions.  Not that the opinion is right or wrong, but it’s theirs.  

      We’ve received many compliments about his behavior, actions, and the way he responds to others.  We can’t accept all the compliments ourselves, because it took not only us, but our family, friends, neighbors, and church to help us get him where he is today.  All we can do is pray and help him in any fashion he choses to let us as he continues his life path.

      This is just one example of something we’ve done in helping our son understand a part of his life.  There are many other stories, but I think you will find people that will give you much information.  You’ve probably heard similar stories such as this already.  We hope we didn’t bore you.
      Good luck with your books.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Barbara Http://www.wetutor.com/profiles/156 wrote Jun 16, 2009
    • Hi
      I taught middle school technology classes last year. I had my students create public service power points. They put a lot of positive energy into them. I think positive rules work well. I like Jim Fay’s work, Love and Logic.
      If all kids hear is negative, I think they become negative too.
      : )



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marilyn09 wrote Jun 17, 2009
    • Well its been a while since my kids were that little. But when they were... The hardest thing I saw my kids go thru was “you‘re my BEST friend”  I saw it both ways.. My daughter would announce that so and so was her best friend- then that person would accidentally crush my daughter by saying..‘well actually.. so and so is my best friend.  Then after I dry her tears.. months later someone declared her the best friend and could you believe that she said ” well, actually, you‘re not my best friend- so and so is.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      James Beverly wrote Jun 18, 2009
    • Thanks Marilyn -

      That is certainly an area that I will add to my list.

      Thanks for taking the time to respond.

      James



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cristina Corral wrote Mar 25, 2010
    • I know this is late, but my daughter (6) always starts crying if she hears me mention causally that when I die when I’m 98.....  I try to explain to her that all of us will one day die and that some die earlier and some die very old.  She is mortified and I think that even though I have tried to fully explain, with love, to her that this is a natural process and even go so far as to tell her that I will always be in her heart, she is just o young to grasp what I am saying.

      Cristina

      [Link Removed]

      skin care products & advice


      Ccskin, Your links have been removed, please consider upgrading to premium membership.



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